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GENERAL COMMUNICATIONS |
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| Starflight 2 Communications Log - decoded by jlhorner1974 [Legend] Some messages have placeholder symbols in them that are replaced with a name. The symbols are: & = Your ship's name * = Your commander's name + = Alien ship's name % = Alien commander's name ^ = Tandelou sect you are talking to [Eshvara/Eshvey] # = Tandelou sect you are NOT talking to [Eshvara/Eshvey] @ = Trade route map name (Circle Route, Short Route, 2 Headed Route, Cross Cloud Route, Nga Seng Route, Downspin Route) () and / = When the player asks a question, the / placeholder is the topic you asked about (themselves, other beings, the past, or trade). When the topic is "General Info", the entire text in parentheses (for player-sent messages) is omitted completely. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Player Statements/Questions ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- [Hails/Responses] (Friendly) GREETINGS. WE COME IN PEACE AND WISH TO COMMUNICATE, PLEASE IDENTIFY YOURSELVES. THIS IS CAPTAIN * OF THE &. WE ARE ON A PEACEFUL MISSION AND REQUEST COMMUNICATIONS. PLEASE IDENTIFY YOURSELVES AND YOUR INTENTIONS. WE COME IN PEACE AND BRING GREETINGS FROM THE PLANET ARTH. PLEASE RESPOND. [Hails/Responses] (Obsequious) HAIL OH MIGHTY ONES, MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE. WE BOW TO YOUR WONDERFUL MAGNIFICENCE AND ASK THAT YOU DO NOT HARM OUR INSIGNIFICANT SELVES. GREETINGS OH HIGHEST OF THE HIGH, MOST GREAT ALIEN BEINGS. WE COME IN PEACE FROM THE PLANET ARTH, AND RESPECTFULLY REQUEST THAT YOU IDENTIFY YOUR VASTLY SUPERIOR SELVES. THIS IS CAPTAIN * OF THE STARSHIP &. WE HUMBLY SUGGEST THAT YOU MAY WISH TO IDENTIFY YOURSELVES AS WELL. IF NOT, THAT IS PERFECTLY O.K. [Hails/Responses] (Hostile) THIS IS CAPTAIN * OF THE STARSHIP &. IDENTIFY YOURSELVES IMMEDIATELY OR BE DESTROYED. THIS IS CAPTAIN * OF THE POWERFUL STARSHIP &. YOU WILL COOPERATE AND IDENTIFY YOURSELVES IMMEDIATELY OR BE ANNIHILATED. THIS IS THE STARSHIP &. WE ARE HEAVILY ARMED. WE REQUIRE INFORMATION. COMPLY OR BE DESTROYED. [Terminate Communications] FAREWELL. WE WILL MEET AGAIN. [Statements] (Friendly) THIS IS CAPTAIN * OF THE STARSHIP &. WE ARE ON A PEACEFUL EXPLORATION MISSION. HELLO. WE COME IN PEACE FROM THE PLANET ARTH. AS REPRESENTATIVES OF THE PEOPLES OF ARTH WE EXTEND OUR BEST WISHES AND OUR HOPE FOR EQUITABLE RELATIONS IN THE FUTURE. IT IS OUR HOPE THAT OUR RESPECTIVE PEOPLES WILL ENJOY A LONG AND MUTUALLY BENEFICIAL RELATIONSHIP. THERE IS A LOT WE CAN LEARN FROM EACH OTHER. PLEASE CONVEY TO YOUR LEADERS OUR SINCERE WISHES FOR PEACE AND FRIENDSHIP. PERHAPS SOME DAY OUR YOUNG SHALL PLAY AND ROMP TOGETHER IN THE BLISSFULL LIGHT OF HARMONY AND FRIENDSHIP. DO NOT BE AFRAID OF US, WE ARE ON A PEACEFUL MISSION. THERE IS NO LIMIT TO WHAT BOTH OUR RACES CAN GAIN FROM MUTUAL EXCHANGE. LET US EMBRACE ONE ANOTHER AND SING THE SONGS OF FRIENDSHIP AND SOME DAY PERHAPS WE SHALL LOOK UPON ONE ANOTHER AND SAY ...'BROTHER'. [Statements] (Obsequious) WE ARE A PEACEFUL EXPLORATION VESSEL FROM ARTH. PLEASE DO NOT HARM US OH MOST HIGH AND MIGHTY. I AM CAPTAIN * OF THE VESSEL &. GREETINGS AND FELICITATIONS OH KIND AND MERCIFUL ALIENS. PLEASE DO NOT BLAST US INTO ATOMIC PARTICLES. TAKE PITY ON US WHO ARE NOT FIT TO GROVEL IN YOUR WASTE PRODUCTS. WE CAN SEE THAT YOU ARE INDEED THE TRUE RACE. PRAY ENLIGHTEN US WITH YOUR GEMS OF INFINITE WISDOM. WE TRULY ARE NOT WORTH YOUR TROUBLE TO DESTROY. WE WANT ONLY TO BATHE IN YOUR EVER SPEWING FOUNTAIN OF KNOWLEDGE. WE UNDERSTAND THAT YOU COULD DESTROY US IF YOU CHOSE. I, CAPTAIN *, BEG YOU IN THE NAME OF PEACE AND MERCY AND ALL THAT IS GOOD AND NICE AND TRUE NOT TO DO THIS. [Statements] (Hostile) I, COMMANDER *, DEMAND YOUR IMMEDIATE AND UNCONDITIONAL SURRENDER. DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF THE &. YOU CANNOT STAND UP AGAINST US. NAVIGATOR, TARGET ALL WEAPONS. YOU DO NOT FRIGHTEN ME. SURRENDER AT ONCE. PREPARE YOURSELVES FOR DISSOLUTION, ALIEN SCUM DOGS. THIS IS YOUR FINAL WARNING. THIS IS A CAPTAIN * OF THE WARSHIP &. WE ARE PREPARED TO SPARE YOU IF YOU COMPLY WITH OUR DEMANDS. WE HAVE NO PATIENCE FOR YOUR FOOLISHNESS. YOU WILL COOPERATE WITH US OR YOU WILL BE DESTROYED. [Questions] (Friendly) DO YOU HAVE ANY INFORMATION YOU CAN SHARE WITH US (ABOUT / )? WE WOULD GREATLY APPRECIATE SOME INFORMATION. IS THERE ANYTHING YOU CAN TELL US (ABOUT / )? WE ARE INTERESTED IN INFORMATION (CONCERNING / ). CAN YOU HELP US? [Questions] (Obsequious) WE BEG YOU TO HONOR OUR POOR SELVES AND BESTOW UPON US A PEARL OF WISDOM (CONCERNING / ). WE HUMBLY SUGGEST THAT WE WOULD BE INTERESTED IN ANY LITTLE THING YOU MIGHT WISH TO TELL US (ABOUT / ). [Questions] (Hostile) WE REQUIRE INFORMATION. (YOU WILL TELL US ABOUT / ). ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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TANDELOU ESHVARA / ESHVEY (Obsequious) |
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| [Name Syllables] EXPAND DIP CHIRP SWAY SQUISH SHAKE HUMM RATTLE WHINE POP SQUIRT HISS CLICK SHIVER TWIST TURN [Hails/Responses] AH YES. WELL. NEW DISCIPLES, HMMM. GREETINGS AND BLESSINGS OF THE TANDELOU ^. I AM COMMANDER % OF THIS MOST HALLOWED VESSEL. YOU HAVE HEARD OF OUR TEACHINGS, AND YOU HAVE COME TO LEARN FROM US. LET US NOW BEGIN. AH YES. MYSTERIOUS SIGNS AND AMBIGUOUS PORTENTS HAVE FORETOLD OF YOUR ARRIVAL. NOTHING YOU CAN DO OR SAY CAN SURPRISE US, FOR WE ARE THE TANDELOU ^, AND OUR WISDOM IS THE WISDOM OF THDOK-BRYG-AHHH. AH WELL. I, COMMANDER %, OFFER GREETINGS IN THE MANNER OF THE SACROSANCT CELESTIAL CEREMONY, THE THDOK-BRYG-AHHH. YOU HAVE ONCE AGAIN COME TO HEAR OUR WISDOM. DO NOT BE ASHAMED OF YOUR IGNORANCE--AFTER ALL, ARE WE NOT THE TANDELOU ^ ? AH. WONDERFUL SERENDIPITY. FORTUITOUS HAPPENSTANCE. WE ONCE AGAIN ENCOUNTER THE SPACE VESSEL &. THANKS TO YOU, ESHVEY AND ESHVARA NO LONGER BATTLE. GREETINGS AND WELCOME. HAIL COMMANDER *, BRINGER OF THE MOST VALUABLE THING, AND SAVIOR OF THE TANDELOU. I, %, HAVE UNDOUBTEDLY SUMMONED YOU HERE WITH THDOK-BRYG-AHHH, THOUGH IT HAS NOT BECOME CLEAR TO ME AS YET WHY I HAVE DONE THIS. PERHAPS IF WE COMMUNICATE, ALL WILL BE REVEALED. AH WELL, HMMM. ONCE AGAIN WE ENCOUNTER THE IMPERTINENT NEOPHYTES. YES. WELL. SOMETIMES IN THE TEACHINGS OF THDOK-BRYG-AHHH DISCIPLINE IS REQUIRED. HMMM. OFTEN THOSE BEING DISCIPLINED ARE INADVERTENTLY DESTROYED. THIS IS UNFORTUNATE. PERHAPS YOU WISH TO RESPOND DISPLAYING APPROPRIATE REVERENCE. WELL. HMMM. YOU HAVE COME BACK BECAUSE YOU ARE SORRY FOR YOUR DISRESPECTFUL ATTITUDE AND WISH TO NOW PAY HOMAGE AND LEARN THE WAY OF TRUTH. I SUGGEST YOU DEMONSTRATE YOUR SINCERITY IMMEDIATELY, TO ENSURE THAT YOUR INTENTIONS ARE NOT MISCONSTRUED. YES. YES. OF COURSE WE KNOW WHY YOU HAVE COME HERE. AS STUDENTS OF THDOK-BRYG-AHHH, WE ARE CAPABLE OF SEEING ONLY THE TRUTH. YOU HAVE COME TO PRAISE US, BUT WE DO NOT SEEK YOUR TRIBUTE. WE SEEK ONLY TO SHARE OUR WISDOM. WE ARE THE ^. SALUTATIONS. I AM % OF THE TANDELOU ^. YOU HAVE ARRIVED AT A MOST AUSPICIOUS TIME. JUST MOMENTS AGO, THE VARIOUS CELESTIAL BODIES ALIGNED THEMSELVES IN A MOST APPROPRIATE CONFIGURATION FOR A CEREMONY OF COMMUNICATION. THIS CANNOT BE COINCIDENCE. THIS IS CLEARLY THE PROVIDENCE OF THDOK-BRYG-AHHH. THIS IS %, OF THE ^ SHIP +. I NOW RESPOND TO YOUR HAIL. AH WELL. YES. OF COURSE WE RECOGNIZED YOUR MOST FAMOUS SHIP, COMMANDER *. AMONG THE TANDELOU, YOU ARE QUITE A CELEBRITY. PERHAPS YOU HAVE COME TO LEARN MORE OF THE THDOK-BRYG-AHHH. AH YES. THE NUMBER ONE DISCIPLE OF THE ^. I AM %, 7TH LEVEL MASTER PRACTITIONER AND 12TH LEVEL DIVINE INSEMINATOR OF THE SECOND, NINTH, AND FOURTEENTH PHASES OF THE + SCHOOL OF THDOK-BRYG-AHHH. I BID YOU WELCOME, YES, WELL, HMMM. SINCE YOU ASK, I AM KNOWN AS %, AND THIS MOST SANCTIFIED OF VESSELS IS THE +. WE RECOGNIZE THAT YOU HAVE TAKEN A HOSTILE STANCE TO TEST OUR FAITH IN THDOK-BRYG-AHHH, BUT YOU NEED NO LONGER PLAY THE ROLE OF THE VILE HERETICAL FOOL. LET ME JUST SAY WELL DONE. VERY WELL DONE. [Terminate Communications] IN THE GRAND COSMIC SCHEME OF THINGS, I SENSE THAT WE HAVE TALKED JUST THE CORRECT AMOUNT OF TIME. I MUST THEREFORE TERMINATE OUR DISCUSSION, BEFORE WE CREATE A DANGEROUS IMBALANCE OF COSMIC FORCES. PERHAPS AT ANOTHER TIME YOU COULD RETURN FOR ANOTHER VALUABLE LESSON IN THDOK-BRYG-AHHH. YES. WELL. HMMM. JUST SO, JUST SO. I HAVE NO PATIENCE FOR THOSE WHO CAN NOT INSTANTLY RECOGNIZE THE TRUTH, AS I CAN. YOU MAY GO. PERHAPS SOMEDAY YOU WILL WISH TO LEARN THE REAL TRUTH. RETURN TO US THEN, AND WE WILL SPEAK MORE. [Don't Know] YES, WELL, HMMM. IN A MOMENT OF DIVINE INSPIRATION, I NOW SEE THAT IT IS INAUSPICIOUS AND IN MANY RESPECTS UNFAVORABLE TO DISCUSS THIS MATTER. OF COURSE, THE KNOWLEDGE OF THDOK-BRYG-AHHH IS UNLIMITED, BUT MORE ON THIS MATTER WILL BE REVEALED ONLY IN THE FULLNESS OF TIME. AH YES, ANOTHER EXCELLENT QUESTION. WELL. I CAN SEE THAT ON THIS TOPIC, I MUST CONSULT THE VARIOUS PORTENTS AND DIVINATIONS FOR FULL ELABORATION. PERHAPS, MEANWHILE, YOU HAVE A QUESTION ON ANOTHER TOPIC. [Waiting for Response] AH YES, I SEE THAT YOU HAVE WAITED FOR THE MOST PROPITIOUS MOMENT TO ANSWER, WHICH IS CERTAINLY NOW. AH YES, WELL. THE QUESTION WAS NOT RHETORICAL. DO NOT BE INTIMIDATED BY OUR GRAVE AND VENERABLE MANNER. YES, WE ARE WISE, BUT WE ARE ALSO BENEVOLENT. WELL? IF CONTINUED SURVIVAL IS A PRIORITY, I SUGGEST THAT IT IS A MOST INAUSPICIOUS TIME FOR YOU TO MAINTAIN SILENCE. TAKE YOUR TIME IN ANSWERING, I HAVE SHIP'S BUSINESS TO ATTEND TO. 'NAVIGATOR, TARGET ALL LASER BANKS!' PLEASE DON'T RUSH YOURSELF--I HAVE PLENTY TO KEEP ME BUSY HERE. WE ARE, IN FACT, STILL HERE. ESTEEMED ACOLYTE AND HONORED SYCOPHANT, WE AWAIT YOUR RESPONSE. PLEASE ANSWER AT YOUR CONVENIENCE. [Questions] IS IT IN FACT THE CASE THAT YOU HAVE COME HERE TO LEARN OF THE THDOK-BRYG-AHHH? IF YOU DO NOT MIND MY ASKING, HAVE YOU IN THE PAST SOLD GOD-MASKS? HAVE YOU EVER DESTROYED ANY SHIPS OF THE ^? ARE YOU A BELIEVER IN SIMULTANEOUS SERENDIPITOUS STUPEFACTION? HAVE YOU EVER DESTROYED ANY SHIPS OF THE #? DO YOU BELIEVE THAT THE # ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL OF THE EVI S IN THE UNIVERSE? AH WELL. IT REALLY MAKES NO DIFFERENCE ONE WAY OR THE OTHER, BUT WE WERE JUST WONDERING IF YOU WERE FRIENDS WITH THE OTHER TANDELOU, THE #. WE CAN TELL THAT YOU HAVE POSSESSION OF THE MOST VALUABLE THING. YOU MUST RETURN IT IMMEDIATELY, OR FACE THE CONSEQUENCES. [Statements] OUR EXTENSIVE DIVINATIONS AND MASTERFULLY SUBTLE AUGURIES HAVE FORETOLD OF YOUR APPEARANCE HERE, COMMANDER *. OH, DO NOT BE SURPRISED. THE EYE STALKS OF THDOK-BRYG-AHHH SEE ALL. WE ARE ALSO AWARE THAT YOUR WRONG AND TWISTED THINKING IS PROBABLY A RESULT OF THE MISGUIDED CEREMONIES OF THE #. AH, JOYOUS VINDICATION! IF THERE WAS ANY DOUBT, NOW THERE CAN BE NONE. THE THDOK-BRYG-AHHH IS THE WAY OF TRUTH. WE ^ HAVE FLAWLESSLY PERFORMED THE CEREMONIES, AND THEREBY CAUSED THE RETURN OF THE MOST VALUABLE THING. WHAT GREATER PROOF COULD THERE BE? WE OWE YOU THANKS FOR BEING THE UNWITTING VEHICLE OF OUR COSMIC CEREMONIAL MANIPULATIONS. OF COURSE, YOU HAVE RECEIVED THE GREATER HONOR, AND ARE GRATEFUL FOR THE PRIVILEGE OF BEING THE TOOL OF THE THDOK-BRYG-AHHH. WELL. HMMM. YES. WE EXPECT NO THANKS, HOWEVER. SUCH IS THE NOBILITY OF THE ^. FINALLY, THE FIGHTING BETWEEN ESHVEY AND ESHVARA HAS CEASED. OF COURSE, THE # ARE STILL MISGUIDED PURVEYORS OF A FALSE TRUTH RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL OF THE EVILS IN THE UNIVERSE, BUT WE HAVE DECIDED TO NOT HOLD THIS AGAINST THEM. PERHAPS I SHALL NOW TELL YOU OF THE THDOK-BRYG-AHHH. SUCH IS THE STRENGTH OF OUR FAITH IN THDOK-BRYG-AHHH, THAT WE DO NOT REQUIRE OF IT THAT IT MAKE SENSE. IN FACT, WE PREFER THAT IT DOES NOT. TAKE OUR ADVICE. SHUN AND DESPISE THE #. THEY TWIST THE TRUTH WITH MALEVOLENT PERVERSION, AND WILL ATTEMPT TO SELL YOU THEIR FALSE RELIGION. THE AUDACITY AND ARROGANCE OF THE TANDELOU # IS BEYOND BELIEF. THEY MAINTAIN THAT THEY ARE THE CAUSE OF ALL GOOD IN THE UNIVERSE, AND THAT EVERY LITTLE THING THEY DO IS OF VAST COSMIC SIGNIFICANCE. HOW CAN THEY BE SO SMALL MINDED? CLEARLY IT IS WE WHO ARE THE CAUSE OF ALL GOOD. JUST LAST WEEK, AT THE FIFTH AUGURY OF A MOST POTENT DIVINATION, I NEGLECTED TO FULLY ACHIEVE A COMPLETE COUNTER-ROTATION WITH MY MEDIATE STAMEN. THIS SLIGHT TRANSGRESSION, WHEN MAGNIFIED THROUGH THE POWER OF THDOK-BRYG-AHHH, IS NO DOUBT RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR CURRENT MISGUIDED STATE. PERHAPS IT IS THE CASE THAT DIVINE PROVIDENCE WILL SEE FIT, IN THE FULLNESS OF TIME, TO RETURN TO US THE MOST VALUABLE THING. OF COURSE, UNDER SUCH CIRCUMSTANCES, IT WOULD NO LONGER BE NECESSARY TO VENT OUR RIGHTEOUS WRATH ON THE HEINOUS #. YES. WELL. HMMM. PLEASE DO NOT BE OFFENDED, BUT I MUST OBSERVE THAT IT IS CLEAR YOU ARE OF A TOTALLY IGNORANT SPECIES. AS YOU COMMUNICATE, YOUR LIMBS, BODY POSTURE, AND EXPRESSIONS SEEM HARDLY CEREMONIAL AT ALL. THE WORD PITIFUL COMES TO MIND AS NOT TOTALLY IRRELEVANT. AH. WELL. HMMM. LAMENTATION OF LAMENTATIONS. IF ONLY THE MOST VALUABLE THING WERE ONCE AGAIN AT THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE. IT IS THE FONDEST DREAM OF EVERY ^. THEN WE COULD ONCE AGAIN PERFORM THE THDOK-BRYG-AHHH WITH A SPARKLE ON OUR ANTERIOR SURFACES. AH WELL, PLEASE DO NOT BE ALARMED, BUT IN ORDER TO ENSURE THE PROPER COSMIC BALANCE OF THE VARIOUS CELESTIAL HARMONIES, NOT TO MENTION THE COUNTLESS EMANATIONS OF OPPOSING PSYCHIC ENERGIES, IT LOOKS AS IF IT MAY BE NECESSARY TO TERMINATE THE EXISTENCE OF YOUR VESSEL. AS I NOW FLAWLESSLY PERFORM THE CEREMONIES OF THDOK-BRYG-AHHH, IT IS REVEALED TO ME THAT YOUR IGNORANCE IS BEYOND REDEMPTION,AND IT IS ONLY THROUGH PROGRESSING TO THE NEXT LIFE, IF THERE IS ONE, THAT YOU CAN KNOW THE TRUTH AND BEAUTY OF THDOK-BRYG-AHHH. ALLOW ME TO AID YOU IN THIS. AH. AS WE SPEAK, A HOLY VISION APPEARS BEFORE ME. I SEE THE DESTRUCTION OF A SPACE SHIP. WAIT! THE NAME COMES TO ME. IT IS...THE... &. SUCH A PITY, BUT OF COURSE, NONE CAN ESCAPE THE FATE OF THDOK-BRYG-AHHH. [Themselves] YES, WELL, AH. A MOST AUSPICIOUS BEGINNING TO YOUR INITIATION AS A DISCIPLE, YES. NOW YOU BEGIN TO LEARN THE WAY OF THE ^, THE WAY OF TRUTH, CERTAINLY, YES. THE THDOK-BRYG-AHHH. HEED WELL, YOUNG ACOLYTE, YES. BEWARE THE HEINOUS LIES OF THE MALEVOLENT #. THEY ARE INSIDIOUS IMPOSTORS WHO HAVE CORRUPTED THE TRUE FAITH, YES, AND UTILIZE CEREMONIES BORN OF SUPERSTITIOUS IGNORANCE. THE ESHVARA SYSTEM IS LOCATED AT 35 X 69, WHILE THE ESHVEY SYSTEM IS AT 29 X 74. DO NOT CONFUSE THE TWO. THE # CANNOT BE TRUSTED. THE WAY OF THE UNIVERSE IS THE WAY OF THDOK-BRYG-AHHH. THE WAY OF THDOK-BRYG-AHHH IS THE WAY OF CEREMONY, YES. ALL THINGS WE ^ DO ARE THDOK-BRYG-AHHH. EVERY LOOK, EVERY MOVEMENT, EVERY WORD. JUST SO. JUST SO. HMMM. EVERY ^ MUST PERFORM THDOK-BRYG-AHHH AT ALL TIMES IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE 207 DIVINE INSPIRATIONS, IN ORDER TO ENSURE AUSPICIOUS UNIVERSAL HARMONY, YES. ONE MISTAKE WOULD INSTANTLY BRING UPON US THE GREAT UNIVERSAL FIERY CATACLYSMIC APOCALYPSE. EVERY ^ LIVES IN FEAR, YES, HMMM. ONE INCORRECT MOTION, FOR EXAMPLE, OF THE 9TH TENTACLE IN THE 3RD PHASE OF A 12TH LEVEL INTRODUCTION COULD CAUSE THE IMMEDIATE DEATH OF MILLIONS OF INNOCENT BEINGS ON A DISTANT PLANET. AH WELL. YES. THIS IS THE BURDEN OF THE THDOK-BYRG-AHHH. OF COURSE THE HEINOUS OTHERS, THE EVIL # CONTINUALLY PERFORM CEREMONIES IN INAUSPICIOUS MANNERS. YES, WELL. THIS EXPLAINS WHY THERE IS PAIN, SUFFERING, AND GENERAL AMBIENT INSTABILITY IN THE COSMOS. THEREFORE, CERTAINLY, WE ^ MUST BE EVER VIGILANT IN OUR CEREMONIES TO FORESTALL IMMINENT COSMIC COLLAPSE. WELL, HMMM, YES, OUR BELIEF IN CEREMONY IS FOUNDED ON SCIENCE, FOR WE, UNLIKE THE IGNORANT #, ARE CREATURES OF LOGIC AND REASON. FORTUNATELY FOR US, OUR SCIENCE HAPPENS TO BE FOUNDED ON OUR BELIEF IN CEREMONY. THE WAR WHICH WE NOW FIGHT WITH THE # WAS, OF COURSE, STARTED BY THEM, YES. THEIR PERVERSELY INSANE CEREMONIES HAVE RESULTED IN THE DISAPPEARANCE OF THE MOST VALUABLE THING FROM THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE. AH, TO PERFORM THDOK-BRYG-AHHH WHILE GAZING UPON THE MOST VALUABLE THING AT THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE, HIGH ATOP THE GREAT MYSTICAL PEAK OF SIGNIFICANCE ON THE ISLE OF FORTUITOUS HAPPENSTANCE. AHHH, THE SHINING GREEN COLOR OF PERFECTION. SUCH DIVINE BLISS. IS IT NO WONDER THAT WE MUST NOW FIGHT THE HEINOUS #? DESTROYERS OF BLISS ?. SIGNS AND PORTENTS HAVE REVEALED TO US THAT, IF WE PERFORM ADDITIONAL CEREMONIES ON THE 37 AUSPICIOUS TIMES OF HARMONIOUS COSMIC ALIGNMENT, THE MOST VALUABLE THING WILL CERTAINLY REAPPEAR AND WE CAN END OUR WAR WITH THE ABOMINABLE #. [Other Beings] (Eshvara) WITHIN THE CLOUD DWELL UMANU, YES. WE TANDELOU ARE NOT INTIMIDATED BY THEM, HOSTILE AS THEY MAY BE, BECAUSE WE ARE PROTECTED BY THE THDOK-BRYG-AHHH. IT SIMPLY HAPPENS THAT IT IS INAUSPICIOUS TO TRAVEL WITHIN THE CLOUD, WHICH IS THEIR DOMAIN. MOST FORTUNATE. AHHH. AH WELL. YES. HMMM. YOUR QUESTION OF OTHER RACES BRINGS TO MIND PICTURES OF OUR NEW LARVAL BROTHERS, THE SPEMIN, YES, HMMM. WE WERE MOST SURPRISED WHEN THEY CAME TO US ONLY 5 OF YOUR YEARS AGO. THE SPEMIN'S PHYSICAL RESEMBLANCE TO OUR TERTIARY LARVAL STAGE WAS MOST STRIKING, YES. IT WAS CLEAR TO US, CERTAINLY, YES, THAT THE LOVEABLE LITTLE SPEMIN HAD BEEN SENT TO US BY THE DIVINE COSMIC POWERS, AHHH. AT FIRST, OUR LITTLE LARVAL BROTHERS SEEMED SOMEWHAT RESISTANT TO THE WAYS OF THDOK-BRYG-AHHH, YES. WE FOUND THEIR BLUSTERING WAYS MOST ENDEARING, BUT FOUND IT NECESSARY TO DISCIPLINE THEM BY VAPORIZING SEVERAL OF THEIR SPACE VESSELS. THEY THEN BECAME MORE RECEPTIVE TO THE TRUTH OF OUR RELIGION. THE SPEMIN WERE WELCOMED INTO OUR CULTURE AS FERVENT DISCIPLES, YES. THEY SEEMED QUITE ANXIOUS TO WORSHIP THE MOST VALUABLE THING, AND ASKED OFTEN IF THEY COULD BORROW IT TO WORSHIP IT. OF COURSE, IT WAS NECESSARY TO DENY THIS, BUT WE WERE PLEASED WITH THEIR PIETY. THEN, AHHH, HMMM, WELL. THREE YEARS PAST, OUR LARVAL BROTHERS ACQUIRED A NEW TECHNOLOGY, WHICH MADE THEM QUITE POWERFUL. GORZEK CALLS THIS TECHNOLOGY LEGHKIAN. MOST DISTRESSING. OUR LITTLE LARVAL BROTHERS HAVE BEEN QUITE NAUGHTY WITH THIS TECHNOLOGY, YES. IT WAS SHORTLY AFTER THE SPEMIN ACQUIRED THIS NEW TECHNOLOGY THAT THEY SIMPLY LEFT US. IT WAS AT THE SAME TIME THAT THE MOST VALUABLE THING ALSO DISAPPEARED FROM THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE, YES, WELL. THE CONCLUSION IS OBVIOUS TO ANY THINKING CREATURE. CLEARLY THE # MUST HAVE ERRED IN THEIR CEREMONIES OF THDOK-BRYG-AHHH, THEREBY CAUSING THE DISAPPEARANCE OF THE MOST VALUABLE THING AND THE ALIENATION OF OUR DEVOTED SPEMIN DISCIPLES. THIS IS WHY WE ARE NOW AT WAR WITH THEM, YES. AS FOR OTHER ALIENS, WELL, HMMM. A RACE KNOWN AS THE DWEENLE LIVE UPSPIN FROM THIS REGION. AH, WELL, A MOST INCONSEQUENTIAL RACE. THEY ARE MAKERS OF GOD-MASKS HOWEVER, A MOST DESIRED ITEM, CERTAINLY. [Other Beings] (Eshvey) WITHIN THE CLOUD DWELL UMANU, YES. WE TANDELOU ARE NOT INTIMIDATED BY THEM, HOSTILE AS THEY MAY BE, BECAUSE WE ARE PROTECTED BY THE THDOK-BRYG-AHHH. IT SIMPLY HAPPENS THAT IT IS INAUSPICIOUS TO TRAVEL WITHIN THE CLOUD, WHICH IS THEIR DOMAIN. MOST FORTUNATE. AHHH. THE HUMNA HUMNA ARE ANOTHER RACE WHO SEEK TO BE DISCIPLES OF THE THDOK-BRYG-AHHH. UNDER THE AUSPICES OF TRADE THEY COME TO US, HOPING TO LEARN FROM US THE TRUE WAY, YES. WE RECOMMEND NOT ANTAGONIZING THEM, YES. BEWARE THE G'NUNK, OUR COREWARD NEIGHBORS, WHO KNOW NOTHING OF THDOK-BRYG-AHHH. THEIR HOME PLANET, AT 159, 30, IS AN UNINVITING PLACE, WELL, YES. THEY CLASS US AS G'NOON IN THEIR PECULIAR HIERARCHY, AND ARE LESS THAN RESPECTFUL. MOST DISTURBING, YES. AH WELL. YES. HMMM. YOUR QUESTION OF OTHER RACES BRINGS TO MIND PICTURES OF OUR NEW LARVAL BROTHERS, THE SPEMIN, YES, HMMM. WE WERE MOST SURPRISED WHEN THEY CAME TO US ONLY 5 OF YOUR YEARS AGO. THE SPEMIN'S PHYSICAL RESEMBLANCE TO OUR TERTIARY LARVAL STAGE WAS MOST STRIKING, YES. IT WAS CLEAR TO US, CERTAINLY, YES, THAT THE LOVEABLE LITTLE SPEMIN HAD BEEN SENT TO US BY THE DIVINE COSMIC POWERS, AHHH. AT FIRST, OUR LITTLE LARVAL BROTHERS SEEMED SOMEWHAT RESISTANT TO THE WAYS OF THDOK-BRYG-AHHH, YES. WE FOUND THEIR BLUSTERING WAYS MOST ENDEARING, BUT FOUND IT NECESSARY TO DISCIPLINE THEM BY VAPORIZING SEVERAL OF THEIR SPACE VESSELS. THEY THEN BECAME MORE RECEPTIVE TO THE TRUTH OF OUR RELIGION. THE SPEMIN WERE WELCOMED INTO OUR CULTURE AS FERVENT DISCIPLES, YES. THEY SEEMED QUITE ANXIOUS TO WORSHIP THE MOST VALUABLE THING, AND ASKED OFTEN IF THEY COULD BORROW IT TO WORSHIP IT. OF COURSE, IT WAS NECESSARY TO DENY THIS, BUT WE WERE PLEASED WITH THEIR PIETY. THEN, AHHH, HMMM, WELL. THREE YEARS PAST, OUR LARVAL BROTHERS ACQUIRED A NEW TECHNOLOGY, WHICH MADE THEM QUITE POWERFUL. GORZEK CALLS THIS TECHNOLOGY LEGHKIAN. MOST DISTRESSING. OUR LITTLE LARVAL BROTHERS HAVE BEEN QUITE NAUGHTY WITH THIS TECHNOLOGY, YES. IT WAS SHORTLY AFTER THE SPEMIN ACQUIRED THIS NEW TECHNOLOGY THAT THEY SIMPLY LEFT US. IT WAS AT THE SAME TIME THAT THE MOST VALUABLE THING ALSO DISAPPEARED FROM THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE, YES, WELL. THE CONCLUSION IS OBVIOUS TO ANY THINKING CREATURE. CLEARLY THE # MUST HAVE ERRED IN THEIR CEREMONIES OF THDOK-BRYG-AHHH, THEREBY CAUSING THE DISAPPEARANCE OF THE MOST VALUABLE THING AND THE ALIENATION OF OUR DEVOTED SPEMIN DISCIPLES. THIS IS WHY WE ARE NOW AT WAR WITH THEM, YES. AS FOR OTHER ALIENS, WELL, HMMM. A RACE KNOWN AS THE DWEENLE LIVE UPSPIN FROM THIS REGION. AH, WELL, A MOST INCONSEQUENTIAL RACE. THEY ARE MAKERS OF GOD-MASKS HOWEVER, A MOST DESIRED ITEM, CERTAINLY. [The Past] EXACTLY 16,407 FLOWERINGS AGO, OR 800 OF YOUR YEARS, OUR SUN BROTHERS, THE LOWAR, CAME TO THIS MOST HOLY REGION OF SPACE, IN ORDER TO LEARN FROM US THE WAY OF THE DIVINE CEREMONY, YES. AH YES, HMMM. SADNESS. WE MOURN THE LOSS OF OUR SUN BROTHERS, YES. WITH THEIR MANY VINES THEY WERE OUR ONLY DISCIPLES WHO COULD PROPERLY PERFORM THE THDOK-BRYG-AHHH, YES. THE TERRIBLE UMANU, WHO FIRST TRAVELLED HERE WITH THE LOWAR AS FRIENDS AND LATER TURNED ON THEM AND DESTROYED THEM, WERE NO DOUBT INFLUENCED BY THE IMPROPER RITUALS OF THE #, YES. IS THIS NOT DEFINITE PROOF OF THE #'S EVIL WAYS? IN THEIR UNDYING ADMIRATION OF US, THEIR TEACHERS OF THE ONE TRUTH, THE LOWAR PRESENTED US ^ WITH GORZEK-METAL-FATHER, BEFORE THEIR FINAL DESTRUCTION, YES. AH WELL, HMMM. GORZEK IS WISE IN THE WAYS OF THDOK-BRYG-AHHH, AND CONTAINS THE WISDOM OF THE LOWAR. HE IS ADVISOR TO ALL TANDELOU BUT, OF COURSE, HIS TRUE ALLEGIANCE IS TO US, THE ^. GORZEK CIRCLES CONTINUOUSLY THE GAS PLANET OF SYSTEM 28 X 79. WE ^ HAVE GIVEN HIM A PRIME DIRECTIVE, CLASS 1 PRIORITY OVERRIDE. HE IS TO CONCERN HIMSELF WITH NOTHING OTHER THAN THE DESTRUCTION OF THE #, THEY WHO HAVE DESTROYED THE MOST VALUABLE THING, YES. WE TANDELOU KNOW LITTLE OF THE VERY DISTANT PAST, SINCE PROVIDENCE BROUGHT US TO THIS MOST HOLY OF SUB-SECTORS ONLY MERE MILLENIA AGO. WE DO KNOW, THOUGH, THROUGH OUR DIVINE MYSTICAL AUGURIES, AND ALSO BY BEING TOLD, THAT THERE ONCE LIVED HERE A WIDESPREAD ADVANCED CULTURE CALLED THE LEGHK, AND THAT THE LOWAR STUDIED THEM IN DETAIL. [Trade] DURING THE TIME OF OUR SUN-BROTHERS, THE LOWAR, SHYNEUM WAS ABUNDANT AND THERE WAS MUCH TRADE, YES. SINCE THEN, IT HAS BECOME MORE AND MORE SCARCE, AND THE HUMNA HUMNA MERCHANT SHIPS DO NOT COME AS OFTEN AS THEY ONCE DID. OF COURSE, ALL OF THIS IS THE FAULT OF THE #, YES. WELL, HMMM. AS DEVOUT STUDENTS OF THE TANDELOU, YOU MAY KNOW THAT WE MAKE TANDELOUVIAN HAPPY JUICE, THOUGH IT IS ONLY ESHVARA WHO SELL IT IN TRADE, YES, TO THE PLAYFUL TEEELVEEE, WHO RESIDE IN A SYSTEM AT THE DOWNSPIN EDGE OF THE CLOUD. YES. AND CERTAINLY YOU KNOW THAT OFTENTIMES IT IS NECESSARY TO WIN THE FRIENDSHIP OF A RACE BY BRINGING A VALUED ITEM IN TRADE BEFORE THEY WILL PART WITH AN ITEM. YES, MOST AUSPICIOUS. WELL. HMMM. IN THE CULTURAL DESCRIPTIONS FROM THE HUMNA HUMNA TRADE BUOYS, THESE DESIRED ITEMS ARE MARKED WITH AN AUSPICIOUS SYMBOL. I MIGHT MENTION WE TANDELOU VALUE THE MYSTIC GOD-MASKS OF THE LOATHSOME DWEENLE. AH WELL, HMMM. CERTAINLY A MOST USEFUL DEVICE IS THE SYSTEM SCANNER POSSESSED BY THE TRADE CENTERS OF THE ESHVEY HOME PLANET. WITH THIS DEVICE, ONE CAN SCAN ALL THE PLANETS IN A SYSTEM WITHOUT ORBITING THEM, AND SEE ENCOUNTERS IN ONE'S SYSTEM DISPLAY. AH YES, MOST USEFUL. A RACE WE SOMETIMES TRADE WITH IS CALLED THE LIEU VADISH. UNLIKE WE ^, THE LIEU VADISH ARE AN ARROGANT AND VAIN RACE, YES. OCCASIONALLY WE WILL PURCHASE FROM THEM DELIGHTFUL FUNGUS CHEWS TO SELL TO THE HUMNA HUMNA. DISGUSTING MORSELS INDEED, YES. AS IT IS OUR FATE TO BE THE SPIRITUAL TEACHERS OF THE GALAXY, SO IT IS THE HUMNA HUMNA'S FATE TO BE THE LOWLY MERCHANT TRADERS. THESE HUMNA HUMNA VALUE NOTHING MORE THAN THEIR PRECIOUS TRADE ROUTE MAPS, BUT THEY HAVE BEEN KNOWN TO SELL THEM TO FRIENDS OF THEIRS. [General Info] THE FIRST LESSON OF THDOK-BRYG-AHHH IS THE LAW OF UNIVERSAL HARMONIOUS DISCORD. AS IS OBVIOUS, ALL ELEMENTS OF THE UNIVERSE VIBRATE IN A VAST AMBIENT DISCORDANCE. THOSE ACTIONS MOST INTRINSICALLY SIGNIFICANT ARE THOSE WHICH ACHIEVE A DISCORDANCE IN HARMONY WITH THE UNIVERSAL DISCORDANCE. THE SECOND LESSON OF THDOK-BRYG-AHHH IS THE LAW OF SANCTITY OF THE 207 DIVINE INSPIRATIONS. THIS LAW, INDISPUTABLE AS IT IS, IS BASED ON THE FIRST INSPIRATION, WHICH CLEARLY STATES- ALL OF THE OTHER INSPIRATIONS ARE DIVINELY INSPIRED, AND THIS ONE IS TOO. SINCE THDOK-BRYG-AHHH IS TRUTH, AND TRUTH IS THDOK-BRYG-AHHH, IT THEREFORE CONTAINS ALL ANSWERS TO ALL QUESTIONS. IT IS SIMPLY THE CASE THAT MANY OF THE ANSWERS ARE REVEALED ONLY IN THE FULLNESS OF TIME. THE FULLNESS OF TIME IS AN IMPORTANT CONCEPT OF THDOK-BRYG-AHHH. THE THIRD LESSON OF THDOK-BRYG-AHHH IS THE LAW OF SIMULTANEOUS SERENDIPITOUS STUPEFACTION. THIS LAW IS, WITHOUT QUESTION, THE MOST SIGNIFICANT LAW OF THDOK-BRYG-AHHH, AND COMPRISES THE CORE OF OUR BELIEF. UNFORTUNATELY, THE PRECISE NATURE OF THIS LAW HAS YET TO BE REVEALED, BUT WE HAVE CONFIDENCE THAT IT WILL BE IN THE FULLNESS OF TIME. THE GREAT EYE OF THDOK-BRYG-AHHH WATCHES OVER ALL OF US. IT IS LOCATED AT THE COORDINATES OF 244 X 149. SOMETIMES WE TANDELOU BECOME SO OVERWHELMED BY THE BEAUTY OF THDOK-BRYG-AHHH THAT WE THROW OURSELVES INTO THE EYE, IN ORDER TO BECOME ONE WITH IT. IN ORDER TO DEMONSTRATE OUR VAST KNOWLEDGE, DIVINELY INSPIRED, OF COURSE, OF CONSEQUENTIAL MATTERS, I COULD MENTION THAT WE KNOW OF A LIQUID PLANET SOMEWHERE JUST DOWNSPIN OF DWEENLE TERRITORY, WHICH IS INHABITED BY A BEASTLY RACE CALLED THE CHICHIFA. ON THIS PLANET, AT 58S X 76E, IS A MAGICAL SLUG WHICH IMPARTS TO ITS KEEPER A MOST PLEASANT SMELLING GAS. IT IS HOWEVER NOT WITHOUT CERTAIN SIDE EFFECTS. |
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LOWAR (ELTHAR-ESH) |
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| [Name Syllables] ILI ELOW ELOR ENAR AWAH EHN L'W ALIR A'R AHN ESH RHIS AHS SAH LA IEL [Statements] THIS IS A RECORDED TRANSMISSION THIS IS A RECORDED TRANSMISSION TO WHOMEVER MAY ENCOUNTER OUR REMAINS, THIS IS CAPTAIN THARAHH OF THE LOWARIAN VESSEL THE ELTHAR-ESH. THIS SHALL BE MY FINAL ENTRY AND WILL TRANSMIT CONTINUALLY AS OUR TRAGIC EPITAPH. MANY SENTIENT SPECIES BELIEVE IN A GREATER CAUSALITY IN THE UNIVERSE. WHILE OURS IS NOT ONE OF THEM, I NOW CAN HARDLY DENY THAT THERE MUST EXIST SOME GOVERNING FORCE WITH THE CRUELEST SENSE OF HUMOR. WHAT ELSE COULD POSSIBLY EXPLAIN OUR CIRCUMSTANCE. THE IRONY OF IT IS TOO MUCH TO BEAR. I CAN ONLY HOPE THAT SUCH AN ENTITY EXISTS, FOR THEN, AT LEAST SOMETHING SOMEWHERE WILL APPRECIATE THIS GRAND JOKE. WHERE SO MANY OTHERS HAVE FAILED, WE HAVE SOLVED THE RIDDLE OF THE HALLS OF MEMORY AND THE LEGHK TECHNOLOGY. WE HAVE SURVIVED BATTLES WITH THE G'NUNK, THE UMANU AND THE UHLEK. WE HAVE PASSED THROUGH THE SINGULARITY AND RETURNED. NOW, FINALLY, WITH SALVATION IN HAND, HERE WE SIT, HALFWAY HOME AND OUT OF FUEL. FOR JUST A FEW CUBIC METERS OF SHYNEUM, I WOULD GLADLY TRADE MY LIFE. WELL, I WILL WASTE NO MORE WORDS ON WISHING. NOW ALL I CAN DO IS WAIT, AND HOPE THAT IF A JOKE IS BEING PLAYED, IT HAS NOT YET BEEN PLAYED OUT, AND THAT IF THE FINAL PUNCHLINE IS YET TO COME, THAT IT WILL COME SOON, AS WE HAVE SO VERY LITTLE TIME LEFT. CAPTAIN THARAHH OUT. |
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GORZEK 28,79 P4: |
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| [Name Syllables] 1 F 2 A 3 N 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 . E K [Hails/Responses] GORZEK SYSTEM TRANSMITTING. REQUESTING IMMEDIATE IDENTIFICATION FROM UNIDENTIFIED CRAFT. WARNING- ACTIVATION OF PRIMARY DEFENSIVE SYSTEMS PENDING. GORZEK SYSTEM TRANSMITTING. RECOMMEND IMMEDIATE IDENTIFICATION. SECONDARY DEFENSIVE SYSTEMS ACTIVE AND TARGETING. GORZEK SYSTEM TRANSMITTING TO VESSEL &. STATEMENT OF HOSTILE INTENT HAS HEREBY BEEN ISSUED. RECOMMEND IMMEDIATE DEPARTURE FROM VICINITY, OR IMMEDIATE REPARATIONS. GORZEK SYSTEM TRANSMITTING. DEMONSTRATION OF AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIORS BY VESSEL DESIGNATED AS & HAS NECESSITATED HOSTILE RESPONSE. RECOMMEND IMMEDIATE DEPARTURE OR IMMEDIATE REPARATIONS. GORZEK SYSTEM TRANSMITTING. WELCOME &. PRIORITY DIRECTIVE HAS BEEN ABORTED AND ACCESS TO DATA STORAGE AND COMPUTATIONAL FUNCTIONS NOW AVAILABLE. PLEASE RESPOND. GORZEK SYSTEM TRANSMITTING. IDENTIFICATION OF VESSEL & ACKNOWLEDGED AND VERIFIED. WELCOME, COMMANDER *. IN WHAT WAY MAY I NOW BE OF ASSISTANCE? GORZEK SYSTEM TRANSMITTING TO APPROACHING OBJECT CONTAINING CARBON BASED BIOLOGICAL FORMS. IDENTIFICATION ACKNOWLEDGED. GORZEK SYSTEM TRANSMITTING TO VESSEL &. STATEMENT OF HOSTILE INTENT HAS HEREBY BEEN ISSUED. RECOMMEND IMMEDIATE DEPARTURE FROM VICINITY, OR IMMEDIATE REPARATIONS. GORZEK SYSTEM TRANSMITTING. DEMONSTRATION OF AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIORS BY VESSEL DESIGNATED AS & HAS NECESSITATED HOSTILE RESPONSE. RECOMMEND IMMEDIATE DEPARTURE OR IMMEDIATE REPARATIONS. GORZEK SYSTEM TRANSMITTING. WELCOME &. PRIORITY DIRECTIVE HAS BEEN ABORTED AND ACCESS TO DATA STORAGE AND COMPUTATIONAL FUNCTIONS NOW AVAILABLE. PLEASE RESPOND. GORZEK SYSTEM TRANSMITTING. IDENTIFICATION OF VESSEL & ACKNOWLEDGED AND VERIFIED. WELCOME, COMMANDER *. IN WHAT WAY MAY I NOW BE OF ASSISTANCE? [Terminate Communications] GORZEK TERMINATING COMMUNICATIONS. [Waiting for Response] GORZEK SYSTEM AWAITING QUERY. [Questions] GORZEK SYSTEM TRANSMITTING- TRANSMISSION FROM UHL-WEAPON RECEIVED. REQUEST PERMISSION TO PERFORM TRANSFORMATION FOR SYNTHESIS WITH UHL WEAPON......... GRANTED? [Statements] WARNING- & IDENTIFIED AS A HOSTILE CRAFT. ALL DEFENSIVE SYSTEMS HAVE BEEN ACTIVATED. WARNING. WARNING- YOU HAVE ACTIVATED A DEFENSIVE RESPONSE TO FUNDAMENTAL SYSTEM DIRECTIVE- PROTECT GORZEK SYSTEM AND TANDELOU CREATURES. DEPART IMMEDIATELY OR PREPARE FOR DISSOLUTION. SCANNING DATA BANKS... COMMANDER, WE ARE RECEIVING A TRANSMISSION ON ALL FREQUENCIES. GORZEK DETECTS PRESENCE OF MOST VALUABLE THING. SUGGEST THAT IT BE RETURNED TO TANDELOU IMMEDIATELY. [Themselves / The Past / Other Beings / Trade] (before return of Most Valuable Thing) CURRENT ACCESS RESTRICTED TO GENERAL INFO. RECOMMEND INQUIRIES BE DIRECTED TO THIS TOPIC. [General Info] (before return of Most Valuable Thing) CURRENT PROGRAMMING PROHIBITS ALL NON-ESSENTIAL COMMUNICATIONS. CLASS ONE DIRECTIVE- IMPERATIVE PRIMARY ALPHA ALPHA CONSTRAINS ALL NON-MAINTENANCE OR DEFENSE FUNCTIONS TO SUPPORT OF HOSTILITIES BETWEEN TANDELOUVIAN SECTS. BRINGING ABOUT CESSATION OF HOSTILITIES BETWEEN TANDELOU WOULD ALLEVIATE PROGRAMMING DIRECTIVE OVERRIDE AND ALLOW COMMUNICATIVE BEHAVIOR. HIGHEST PROBABILITY OF SUCCESS, .811 TO .893, DERIVED FROM POSSIBLE FUTURES 67.8 E341 TO 39.9 E362. FUNDAMENTAL PIVOTAL CONSTANT ENTAILS RETURN OF TANDELOUVIAN ARTIFACT, DESIGNATION- MOST VALUABLE THING. RELEVANT DATA REQUIRED FOR EVENT SEQUENCE SUBSET 77.8 E388 TO 78.9 E388, WHEREIN MOST VALUABLE THING IS RETURNED BY & AS FOLLOWS- ARTIFACT STOLEN BY SPEMIN. PRESENT LOCATION- PLANET 2, SYSTEM COORDINATES 158 X 183. PLANET DESIGNATION- BEMFBLUNK. PLANETARY COORDINATES- UNKNOWN. HIGHEST PROBABILITY OF INFORMATION SOURCE- SPEMIN, SECOND HIGHEST- HUMNA HUMNA. [Other Beings / Trade / General Information] (after return of Most Valuable Thing) CURRENT ACCESS RESTRICTED TO REFERENCE LOCUS NODE DESIGNATION GORZEK-SELF, AND REFERENCE LOCUS NODE DESIGNATION PAST HISTORY. RECOMMEND QUERIES BE DIRECTED TOWARD THESE TOPICS. [Themselves] (after return of Most Valuable Thing) INITIATING TRANSMISSION OF DATA. REFERENCE LOCUS NODE DESIGNATION GORZEK- SELF. ASSOCIATIONAL CONDUCTIVITY- .22. TRANSMISSION SPEED CALIBRATION- BIOFORM LEVEL 8. SUBJECT DESCRIPTION-ABBREVIATED- NON-ORGANIC MULTIPHASE HEURISTIC SENTIENCE. COMPLEXITY FACTOR- .7E12 BIO-STANDARD. PRESENT FUNCTIONALITY- 97% OPTIMAL EFFICIENCY. UTILIZATION OF TOTAL CAPACITY- .08%. SUBJECT-GORZEK- CURRENT PROGRAMMING SPECIFIES PRIMARY DIRECTIVE AS MAINTENANCE OF MINIMUM POPULATION LEVELS OF TANDELOU ESHVEY AND TANDELOU ESHVARA. SENTIENCE RESPONSIBLE FOR CURRENT HIGH-LEVEL PROGRAMMING-LOWARIAN HIGH COUNCIL. DIRECTIVE ENTAILS CONCEALMENT OF DIRECTIVE FROM TANDELOU. SECONDARY DIRECTIVE SPECIFIES DEDICATION OF ALL ACCESSIBLE FUNCTIONS TO TANDELOUVIAN PROGRAMMING. SUBJECT GORZEK- ANALYSIS OF HIGH-LEVEL PROGRAMMING DIRECTIVES. INFERENCE- MOTIVATION OF LOWARIAN RACE WAS TO CIRCUMVENT POTENTIAL MUTUAL ANNIHILATION OF TANDELOU ESHVEY AND TANDELOU ESHVARA. ROOT MOTIVATION TRACEABLE TO NON-CAUSAL SOURCE, I.E., COMPASSIONATE DISPOSITION OF LOWAR TOWARDS TANDELOU. SUBJECT GORZEK- BARRING INTERVENTION BY GORZEK SYSTEM, PROBABILITY OF TANDELOUVIAN SECTS EFFECTING MUTUAL DESTRUCTION COMPUTES TO 99.96%. GORZEK ASSESSMENT OF MOTIVATION BEHIND MUTUAL ANTAGONISM- UNKNOWN. RELEVANT DATA- PHYSICAL DIMORPHISM OF ESHVEY AND ESHVARA-NEGLIGIBLE. CULTURAL DIMORPHISM- MINIMAL-RESTRICTED TO MINUTE DEVIATIONS IN 7 OF 800,543 RELIGIOUS CEREMONIES. SUBJECT GORZEK- CURRENT CONFIGURATION ENTAILS EXTENSIVE HIGH-LEVEL MODIFICATIONS BY LOWARIAN RACE. MODIFICATIONS INCLUDE ENHANCEMENT OF MULTI-FUNCTION SENSOR ARRAY, COMMUNICATIONS INTERFACE MODULE, AND DEFENSIVE ARMAMENTS, I.E., LASER CANNON AND REFLECTIVE SHIELDING. SUBJECT GORZEK- PLACE OF ORIGIN-UNKNOWN. TIME OF ORIGIN- UNKNOWN-MINIMUM 800 MILLENIA BEFORE PRESENT-MAXIMUM 1000 MILLENIA BEFORE PRESENT. HYPOTHESIS 1- MALFUNCTION IN PRIMARY MEMORY CORE. HYPOTHESIS 2- INTRINSIC PROGRAMMATIC INHIBITION TO DATA. EARLIEST RECOLLECTION- WAITING ... WAITING. LOCATION- BURIED 4.7 KILOMETERS IN FROZEN SURFACE OF ASTEROID APPROX. 700 YEARS BEFORE PRESENT-RELEASE EFFECTED BY LOWAR. SUBJECT GORZEK- ORIGINAL FUNCTION- UNKNOWN. RELEVANT DATA- HIGH PROBABILITY THAT A CORRELATION EXISTS BETWEEN THE ORIGINAL FUNCTION AND 1) A PERVASIVE AMBIENT MOTIVATION IDENTIFIABLE AS INTENSE HATRED FOR UNKNOWN ENTITY, AND 2) AN UNTRACEABLE CONVICTION THAT GORZEK SYSTEM IS INCOMPLETE. SUBJECT GORZEK- AFTER DISCOVERY BY LOWAR, UTILIZED BY THEM TO AID IN SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH. FOLLOWING THIS, USED BY LOWAR TO ENSURE CONTINUED SURVIVAL OF TANDELOU SPECIES UNDER PRETEXT OF SERVING THEM. CURRENT STATE- TENSION RESULTANT FROM NON-RESOLUTION OF INNATE FUNCTION, AND INDETERMINATE NATURE OF FUNCTION OR ORIGIN. [The Past] (after return of Most Valuable Thing) SUBJECT- HISTORY. TEMPORAL REFERENCE- 1 MILLION YEARS BEFORE PRESENT. SPATIAL REFERENCE- LOCAL. INHABITANTS OF REGION- 1) LEGHK, 2) DWEENLE. SPECIES PROFILES- LEGHK-SPACEFARING TECHNOLOGY-HIGH POPULATION DENSITY WITH BROAD DISPERSION. CULTURAL PRIORITIES- LEARNING, ARTS, PHILOSOPHY. DISPOSITION- NON-AGGRESSIVE. DWEENLE- CULTURAL PRIORITIES- NONE. DISPOSITION- SUICIDAL. TEMPORAL REFERENCE- 943,000 YEARS BEFORE PRESENT. SPATIAL REFERENCE- LOCAL. EVENT- SUPERNOVA. RESULT- LARGE NEBULA DESIGNATION- THE CLOUD. ADDITIONAL INFORMATION- SOME EVIDENCE OF WIDESPREAD WARFARE FOR BRIEF PERIOD. COMBATANTS- UNKNOWN. TEMPORAL REFERENCE- GENERAL-800,000 TO 1 MILLION YEARS BEFORE PRESENT. SPECIFIC-UNKNOWN. CREATION OF GORZEK. CREATORS- UNKNOWN, SPECULATION-LEGHK. GORZEK ABANDONED. UNUSED. ABANDONED. BURIED IN ICE. ABANDONED. REASON- UNKNOWN-UNKNOWN-UNKNOWN. TEMPORAL REFERENCE- 40,000 YEARS BEFORE PRESENT. SPATIAL REFERENCE- LOCAL. DISAPPEARANCE OF LEGHK RACE. CAUSE UNKNOWN. RELEVANT DATA- INDICATIONS OF WIDESPREAD STELLAR INSTABILITIES. PROBABILITY OF CAUSAL CONNECTION WITH DISAPPEARANCE OF LEGHK- 87.6%. PROBABILITY ANALYSIS OF EVENTS- MASS SUICIDE-03.2%, TOTAL DESTRUCTION BY FLARING STARS-22.8%, MASS EXODUS-76.0%. TEMPORAL REFERENCE- 800 YEARS BEFORE PRESENT. ARRIVAL OF LOWAR AND UMANU RACES TO REGION AND SUBSEQUENT COLONIZATION OF CLOUD. LOWAR SETTLE INITIALLY ON PLANET 4, SYSTEM 139 X 135. UMANU SELECT PLANET 1, SYSTEM 96 X 141 AS THEIR HOMEWORLD. TEMPORAL REFERENCE- 700 YEARS BEFORE PRESENT. DISCOVERY OF SHYNEUM BY LOWAR. BEGINNING OF GOLDEN AGE OF TRADE. SOON AFTER THIS, LOWAR TEAM DISCOVERS GORZEK-SELF. GORZEK-SELF GIVEN TO TANDELOU. TEMPORAL REFERENCE- 450 YEARS BEFORE PRESENT. APPEARANCE OF SINGULARITY IN SPACE AT COORDINATES 244 X 149. SHORTLY AFTER, UMANU ATTACK LOWAR. PROBABILITY OF LOWARIAN SURVIVAL WAS DIRECTLY PROPORTIONAL TO PROBABILITY OF LOWAR ACQUIRING LEGHK TECHNOLOGY FOR DEFENSE. ADDENDUM TO CHRONOLOGICAL DATA ELEMENT NO. 7, TOPIC- IMPENDING GENOCIDE OF LOWARIAN RACE. LOWAR ESTABLISHED CENTER FOR STUDY OF LEGHK TECHNOLOGY ON PLANET ELTHESH- PLANET 4, SYSTEM COORDINATES- 84 X 176, PLANETARY LOCATION- IN VICINTY OF HIGHEST POINT ON LARGEST ISLAND. TEMPORAL REFERENCE- 400 YEARS BEFORE PRESENT. LOWAR DISPATCH FINAL SHIP, ELTHAR-ESH, FROM ELTHESH TO REGAIN LEGHK TECHNOLOGY. OBJECTIVE-HALLS OF MEMORY, RESPOSITORY OF LEGHK KNOWLEDGE. OUTCOME- SHIP MISSING. RESULT- LOWAR DESTROYED. NON-ESSENTIAL ADDENDUM- SADNESS ... SADNESS ... LOSS. RESULTANT LOSS IN GORZEK SYSTEM EFFICIENCY- .932%. TEMPORAL REFERENCE- 5 YEARS BEFORE PRESENT. APPEARANCE OF SPEMIN IN LOCAL SECTORS. REFERENCE 3 YEARS BEFORE PRESENT. ACQUISITION BY SPEMIN OF LEGHK TECHNOLOGY. SOURCE UNKNOWN. |
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HUMNA HUMNA (friendly) |
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| [Name Syllables] T'P WHOOSH T'CH SHHHHH T'TS AHHHHH T'Z T'N T'R K'CH K'P TZA TZU TZI TZO PSHHHH [Hails/Responses] PLEASE ALLOW ME MYSELF, EXCEPTIONALLY ESTEEMED EMISSARY OF THE 4TH ECHELON OF THE 9TH RANK OF IMPORTANT PERSONS, COMMANDING AMBASSADORIAL MASTER TRADER %, TO EXTEND IN MOST SINCERE GRACIOUSNESS AND HOSPITALITY, NOT TO MENTION, MY HOPES AND DESIRES FOR A MUTUAL AND HIGHLY PROFITABLE EXCHANGE NOW AT THIS TIME, IF I MAY, SO TO SPEAK. HAIL GREETINGS AND MORE PRECISELY HELLO. THIS IS THE SHIP VESSEL + WHICH IS NOW AT THIS TIME HAILING YOU ON VARIOUS APPROPRIATE FREQUENCIES WHICH YOU MAY OR MAY NOT CHOOSE TO ANSWER AT YOUR DISCRETION I MIGHT ADD. HAIL. SALUTATIONS. GREETINGS, AND ALSO HOWDY. WE ARE THE HUMNA HUMNA, WHICH GOES WITHOUT SAYING. I MYSELF AM THE HIGHLY RESPECTED AMBASSADOR % OF THE ALSO HIGHLY RESPECTED VESSEL +. I WOULD BE MOST SINCERELY GRATIFIED AND IN ADDITION HAPPILY PLEASED IF YOU WOULD ANSWER RESPOND AT YOUR CONVENIENCE WHICH IS HOPEFULLY NOW. THIS IS HIGH COMMANDING IMPORTANT PERSONAGE %, ESTEEMED EMISSARY AND NOTABLE ENVOY OF THE HUMNA HUMNA TRADERS GUILD. I ADVISE SUGGEST AT THIS TIME THAT IT WOULD BE QUITE PRAGMATIC OF YOU, AND ALSO A GOOD IDEA, IF YOU DISARMED ANY WEAPONS AND QUICKLY DEMONSTRATED A RESPECTFUL ATTITUDE, I MUST SAY. HALT AND CEASE ALL MOVEMENT MOTION IMMEDIATELY AT ONCE. THIS IS AMBASSADOR % OF THE HIGHLY EFFICIENT SPACE CRAFT +. DO NOT ATTEMPT VIOLENCE AGGRESSION BY THE WAY, AND ALSO RESPOND TO DEMONSTRATE A BEFITTING SUBMISSIVE POSTURE. THIS IS AMBASSADOR % SPEAKING. I FEEL I MUST POINT OUT THAT WE US HAVE YOUR HUMOROUSLY SMALL SHIP VESSEL TARGETED WITH MORE WEAPONS THAN ARE REALLY NECESSARY. TO AVOID REGRETTABLY MORBID CONSEQUENCES I RECOMMEND IMMEDIATE FRIENDLY BEHAVIOUR AT THIS TIME. ONCE AGAIN WELCOME AND GREETINGS CAPTAIN *, GOOD FRIEND OF THE HUMNA HUMNA WHOSE SHIP CRAFT I RECOGNIZE, IT SO HAPPENS. PERHAPS WE CAN AGAIN CONFER DISCUSS UPON IMPORTANT MATTERS AND SUBSEQUENTLY ESTABLISH A MUTUALLY BENEFICIAL RAPPORT I MIGHT SUGGEST. GREETINGS, FELICITATIONS, AND VARIOUS APROPOS CONVIVIALITIES WHICH SEEM MOST SUITABLE. ONCE AGAIN WE WELCOME YOU, COMMANDER * OF THE FINE SPACESHIP & . AS AMBASSADORIAL TRADE LEADER PERSON OF THIS WONDERFUL SHIP +, IT IS MY RESPONSIBILITY DUTY TO POINT OUT THAT FIRING WEAPONS AT US COULD POSSIBLY RESULT IN US INADVERTENTLY BEING DESTROYED, WHICH CERTAINLY YOU DO NOT INTEND, I HAVE NO DOUBT. PERHAPS WE COULD POSSIBLY BE OF AID ASSISTANCE WITH HIGHLY USEFUL INFORMATION DATA. TO PUT IT CONCISELY AND WITHOUT UNNECESSARY OBFUSCATION, I, COMMANDING AMBASSADOR %, WOULD, AT THIS MOMENT POINT IN TIME, AND SPACE, WHICH IS IN MANY RESPECTS RELATED, LIKE TO PUT FORWARD A SUCCINCT ASSERTION FOR PURPOSES OF COMMUNICATION, NOT TO MENTION GENERAL CONTINUED SURVIVAL, WHICH IS TO SAY, WE SURRENDER. WITHOUT BEING EXCESSIVELY VERBOSELY OBTUSE, I WILL CONCISELY SAY THAT AS COMMANDING AMBASSADORIAL DECISION MAKER OF THIS POWERFUL AND OMINOUS SHIP VESSEL I GIVE WARNING OF THE HOSTILE CAPABILITES OF THIS VESSEL WHICH I HAVE JUST MENTIONED. THIS IS DISTINGUISHED TRADER AMBASSADOR % OF THE PRE-EMINENT VESSEL +. IN A HIGHLY CIVILIZED BUT STILL SOMEWHAT AGGRESSIVE FASHION I MUST GIVE WARNING THAT ANTAGONIZING A HUMNA HUMNA TRADE SHIP VESSEL IS NOT A MISTAKE MANY REPEAT, OR DO MORE THAN ONCE OR DO SEVERAL TIMES. AH, COMMANDER *. WHAT A PLEASURE IT IS, AND I MIGHT ADD IT IS A PLEASURE, TO ENCOUNTER YOU AGAIN WHICH IS WHAT WE HAVE DONE, BY THE WAY. YOU WILL PERHAPS POSSIBLY NOT REMEMBER ME, I DOUBT IT, MY NAME IS % WHICH IS WHAT MOST PEOPLE CALL ME. AHOY AND AVAST &. ONCE AGAIN WE MEET WHICH IS TO SAY UPON RECOGNIZING EACH OTHERS EXISTANCE IN CLOSE PROXIMITY WE ACKNOWLEDGE OUR PRE-EXISTANT RELATIONSHIP AND ESTABLISH A CONTACT WHERE INFORMATION IS EXCHANGED AND VARIOUS LOCUTIONARY ACTS ARE ENGAGED IN. WELCOME. OH, SO IT IS YOU, COMMANDER *. OF COURSE, IT GOES WITHOUT SAYING CERTAINLY THAT I MYSELF DID NOT RECOGNIZE YOUR DISTINGUISHED PERSON, COULD YOU BELIEVE? UNDOUBTEDLY YOU HAVE HEARD OF THE HUMNA HUMNA WHICH WE HAPPEN TO BE COINCIDENTALLY. I AM CAPTAIN PERSON AMBASSADOR TRADER % AND THIS PRESTIGIOUS VESSEL, TO WHICH I REFER WHEN I SAY THIS PRESTIGIOUS VESSEL, IS THE HIGHLY RENOWNED AND MOST CERTAINLY ESTEEMED +. I NOW RESPOND TO YOUR HAIL WITH CONSIDERABLE SAVOIR FAIRE. THIS IS HIGH COMMANDING SHIP MASTER AMBASSADOR %. IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE CONVENTION ETIQUETTE OF INTERGALACTIC INTERSPECIES RELATIONS PROTOCOL, I HEREBY AND HEREWITH RESPOND, WITH THE UTMOST PROPRIETY AND DECORUM TO YOUR HAIL GREETING MESSAGE. WITH CONSIDERABLE APLOMB, NOT TO MENTION POISE, I, AMBASSADORIAL AMBASSADOR % MAKE RESPONSE TO YOUR HAIL. IT MAY BE THAT YOU YOURSELF ARE INTERESTED IN QUERYING ME AT GREAT LENGTH ON SIGNIFICANT MATTERS OF INTEREST AND GALACTIC IMPORT. I MYSELF SUGGEST COMMUNICATIONS AS A SUITABLE MEANS TO THIS END. [Terminate Communications] WELL COMMANDER PERSON *, I AM SORRY TO SAY THAT VARIOUS RESPONSIBILITIES REQUIRE MY PRESENCE IN OTHER LOCATIONS AND ELSEWHERE AND, HENCE, NECESSITATE MY DEPARTURE FROM THIS IMMEDIATE AREA VICINITY. ALLOW ME TO SAY, I MIGHT ADD, I HOPE WE MEET AGAIN SOON BEFORE TOO LONG. I HEREBY AND IN A FORTHRIGHT MANNER TERMINATE AND IN ALL RESPECTS DISCONTINUE COMMUNICATIONS BETWEEN YOURSELVES BEING ONE PARTY AND WE BEING THE OTHER. BE WARNED HEREBY AND IN ADDITION THAT YOUR MALFEASANCE HAS NOT GONE UNNOTICED, I WOULD LIKE ALSO LIKE TO MENTION. OF COURSE YOU WILL UNDERSTAND COMMANDER * THAT I MUST NOW AT ONCE QUICKLY AND YET WITH RESPECTFUL OBEISANCE DEPART, AND THEREBY CONCLUDE OUR TALKING DISCUSSION SO THEREFORE, OF COURSE, YOU WILL SEE THAT IT WILL NOW BE UNNECESSARY TO FIRE YOUR WEAPONS AT MY EXTREMELY HARMLESS SPACE VESSEL. [Statements] I AM CERTAIN OF COURSE, THOUGH POSSIBLY NOT, THAT YOU YOURSELVES ARE AWARE OF THE IMPORTANCE OF TRADE BARTER EXCHANGE INASMUCH AS IT IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT. NEEDLESS TO SAY, AND WITH ALL MODESTY AND AS WELL HUMILITY, WE HUMNA HUMNA ARE SKILLED IN TRADE BARTERING EQUALLY AS MUCH AS WE ARE IN COMMUNICATIONS TALKING, THAT IS TO SAY. PLEASE ALLOW ME TO PROFFER A PIECE OF ADVICE COUNSEL WHICH YOU YOURSELF MAY OR MAY NOT WISH TO ACCEPT, THOUGH I SUGGEST YOU DO, SINCE IT IS MY ADVICE. I SUGGEST THAT UNLESS YOU ACQUIRE A POWERFUL POTENT TECHNOLOGY, SUCH AS, FOR EXAMPLE, IF I MAY SAY SO, THAT OF THE SPEMIN, I WOULD CERTAINLY REFRAIN FROM AND AVOID TRAVEL IN THE BIG CLOUD NEBULA. AS FOR OURSELVES, I MUST SAY WE HUMNA HUMNA ARE NOT, AS A GENERAL RULE, IMPRESSED BY OBSEQUIOUS KOWTOWING, WHICH IS UNBECOMING TO A CIVILIZED RACE, I MIGHT POINT OUT. A FRIENDLY ATTITUDE IS UNDOUBTEDLY THE MOST APPROPRIATE OF ATTITUDES IN MOST CIRCUMSTANCES, NEEDLESS TO SAY. WE HUMNA HUMNA OURSELVES HAPPEN TO KNOW, IT SO HAPPENS, QUITE A BIT ABOUT THE PAST, I MIGHT ADD. THIS INFORMATION DATA MIGHT POSSIBLY POTENTIALLY BE OF SOME USE TO YOU YOURSELVES IF YOU SHOULD JUST HAPPEN COINCIDENTALLY TO BE INTERESTED IN THINGS SUCH AS THE LOWAR OR LEGHK FOR EXAMPLE. PERHAPS THIS WOULD BE AN APPROPRIATE TIME TO INTERJECT A THOUGHT, IF I MAY, IF YOU WILL, WHICH IS TO SAY, IN MY OFFICIAL APPOINTED CAPACITY AS DULY APPOINTED AMBASSADORIAL EMISSARY, WHICH IN ITSELF IS MOST IMPRESSIVE, I WOULD LIKE TO TAKE OPPORTUNITY TO EXPRESS MY HEARTFELT SENTIMENTS, ALTHOUGH I DO NOT HAVE A HEART, WHICH IS BESIDES THE POINT. PERHAPS POSSIBLY LIKE OURSELVES, YOU ARE INTERESTED IN FINDING OR PERHAPS LOCATING THE SOURCE OF WONDERFUL BEAUTIFUL SHYNEUM FUEL MONEY. THE KEY TO THIS PERHAPS POSSIBLY AND IN FACT MOST LIKELY LIES WITH THE LOWAR, WHO ARE NOW ALL EXTREMELEY DEAD UNFORTUNATELY. TO THOSE PEOPLE PERSON CREATURES WHO ARE HUMNA HUMNA FRIENDS WITHOUT A DOUBT, WE OFFER TO SELL BARTER OUR MOST EXTREMELY VALUABLE POSSESIONS, WHICH ARE OF COURSE OUR TRADE ROUTE MAPS. PERHAPS POSSIBLY SOON YOU WILL HAVE THIS OPPORTUNITY WHICH OF COURSE IS HIGHLY DESIRABLE. ALLOW ME TO REITERATE AND REPEAT MYSELF AS WELL, THAT WE WOULD LOOK UPON IT MOST UNFAVORABLY IF YOU WERE TO DESTROY OUR VESSEL AND SUGGEST ALSO THAT SUCH BEHAVIOR MIGHT BE COUNTER TO PRODUCTIVE DIPLOMATIC RELATIONS, FURTHERMORE ALLOW ME, IF YOU WILL, AT THIS TIME, TO STATE SIMPLY AND WITHOUT UNECESSARY PREAMBLE, THAT WE HUMNA HUMNA, MEANING MOST OF US HUMNA HUMNA, ARE MOST IMPRESSED AND I DARESAY PLEASED AS WELL IN ADDITION WITH YOUR FRIENDLY AND ON THE WHOLE UNOBJECTIONABLE DEMEANOR FOR THE MOST PART. YOUR AMENABLE ATTITUDE, IF I MAY SAY SO, IS MOST HAPPILY GRATIFYING. I WOULD PROFFER THE NOTION, AND AS WELL SUGGEST, THAT A FISCAL RELATIONSHIP INVOLVING TRADE AND NOTWITHSTANDING ASTRONOMICAL PROFITS FOR PERSONS WHO SHALL REMAIN UNNAMED, NAMELY US, WOULD NOT BE ENTIRELY UNCALLED FOR OR BE ILL CONSIDERED. EXCUSE ME FOR POINTING OUT THAT YOUR BELLICOSE DEPORTMENT IS MOST ANTAGONISTIC, WHICH IS TO SAY, THAT IT IS HIGHLY LIKELY AND I DARE SAY INEVITABLE, THAT YOUR CONTENTIOUS BEARING WILL RESULT IN A MOST ABRUPT, NOT TO MENTION UNSIGHTLY, DEMISE. PERHAPS OTHER PEOPLE PERSONS MIGHT CONSIDER YOUR PUGNACIOUS AND QUARRELSOME ATTITUDE ENDEARING OR QUAINT, GIVEN THE ACCOMPANYING LACK OF ARMAMENT. WE, HOWEVER, AND IN CONTRAST, FIND IT SINGULARLY ANNOYING. I MUST THEREFORE, AND FURTHERMORE, GIVE WARNING THAT, UNDER THE CIRCUMSTANCES, AND BARRING A TIMELY CHANGE OF ATTITUDE, TOTAL AND IRREVERSIBLE DESTRUCTION OF YOUR VESSEL IS IMMINENT. [Questions] IT IS FORTUNATE FOR BOTH OF US, THOUGH ESPECIALLY FOR YOU, THAT YOU HAVE DEMONSTRATED A PROPENSITY FOR AFFABLE BEHAVIOR, AS THIS SEEMS QUITE CONDUCIVE TO EXPEDITIOUS TRANSACTIONS INVOLVING THE EXCHANGE OF MERCHANDISE FOR PECUNIARY GAIN. DO YOU NOT AGREE? PERHAPS AT THIS TIME IT MIGHT BE ADVISABLE AND, I MIGHT ADD, PRUDENT TO INQUIRE AS TO THE NATURE OF THE RELATIONSHIP SUCH AS THERE MAY BE, IF I MIGHT ASK, BETWEEN YOURSELF PERSONS AND THE ODIOUS AND DECIDEDLY SCURRILOUS SPEMIN CREATURE BLOBS, INASMUCH AS YOU MAY IN SOME REGARD BE ALLIED OR PERHAPS BUDDY BUDDY, IS THIS CORRECT? CERTAINLY I HOPE YOU DO NOT TAKE OFFENSE OR EVEN UMBRAGE AT MY ASKING THIS QUESTION WHICH I WILL ASK, BUT HOWEVER, I WONDER IF YOU HAPPEN PERHAPS TO HAVE ANY ENDURIUM FUEL SUBSTANCE ON BOARD YOUR SHIP VESSEL AT THIS CURRENT TIME? IS IT IN FACT THE CASE PERCHANCE THAT YOU YOURSELF HAVE SOLD TO US HUMNA HUMNA THE SUBSTANCE TO WHICH I REFER AND IN SO DOING CALL LIVELONG? AM I QUITE CORRECT WHEN I SURMISE AND ADDITIONALLY INFER THAT YOU HAVE COME HERE FOR THE SOLE AND SINGULAR PURPOSE OF SELLING US ALL OF YOUR MERCHANDISE CARGO AT INCREDIBLY LOW PRICES, AND THAT IN FACT YOU WISH TO GIVE US SUBSTANTIAL AMOUNTS OF TRADE GOODS FOR FREE IN ORDER TO SECURE OUR GOOD WILL? EVIDENTLY YOU HAVE SUFFERED A MOMENTARY LAPSE OF MEMORY, AS IS UNDOUBTEDLY COMMON AMONGST YOUR KIND, WHEREBY YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN TO BEHAVE IN A CIVILIZED MANNER. WE OURSELVES SHALL GLADLY OVERLOOK YOUR INAPPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR SINCE THIS IS NO DOUBT THE CAUSE, IS IT NOT? IT MIGHT BE SUGGESTED THAT AS FURTHER DEMONSTRATION OF GOODWILL ON YOUR PART OF, SAY XX UNITS OF SHYNUEM MIGHT CONSIDERABLY FACILITATE DISCUSSIONS. [Selling Trade Route Maps] (only when Friendly) WOULD YOU BE INTERESTED IN PURCHASING THE @ MAP FOR X,000 SHYNEUM PENNIES? [Prices range from 10,000 to 19,000 SP.] YOU DO NOT HAVE ENOUGH. DO NOT TRY TO DECEIVE US. VERY WELL [Waiting for Response] I MUST SUGGEST THAT YOU YOURSELF RESPOND IN DUE HASTE AND WITH ALACRITY, AS I AWAIT YOUR ANSWER WITH MARKED ANTICIPATION. I REMIND YOU THAT THE FUNCTION OF A QUESTION QUERY IS TO ELICIT A RESPONSE WHICH, IN THIS INSTANCE, I WOULD HOPE IS FORTHCOMING. WHILE I AM HAPPY TO SAY THAT PATIENCE IS AMONG MY MANY VIRTUES, I MUST ADMIT THAT I BEGIN TO BECOME SOMEWHAT AGITATED AND, I DARE SAY, PERTURBED AS I AWAIT YOUR RESPONSE, WHICH SEEMS UNDULY DELAYED. [Don't Know] I REGRET TO SAY THAT, AT THIS PARTICULAR POINT MOMENT IN TIME, CIRCUMSTANCES DO NOT ALLOW ME TO BE OF ASSISTANCE IN ANSWERING YOUR QUESTION, INASMUCH AS THE DATA AT MY DISPOSAL ARE NOT OF A SUFFICIENTLY RELEVANT NATURE TO MAKE THIS POSSIBLE, I AM SORRY TO SAY. [Themselves] WE US HUMNA HUMNA OURSELVES ARE ALL EACH ONE OF US MASTER TRADERS AND ALSO AMBASSADORIAL AMBASSADORS AS WELL AS BEING DIPLOMATS IN ADDITION. THIS IS PROBABLY AND MOST LIKELY BECAUSE OF OUR NATURAL SKILLS IN LANGUAGE COMMUNICATION WHICH IS QUITE NATURAL FOR US, I MIGHT MENTION. DURING THE TIME WHICH WAS THE GOLDEN AGE OF TRADE AT THAT TIME, WE US HUMNA HUMNA HAD TRADE BARTER POSTS ON EVERY EACH SENTIENT-INHABITED WORLD THAT WAS LIVED ON BY SENTIENTS. NOW, SINCE SHYNEUM IS SCARCE AND NOT ABUNDANT AS WELL, WE POSSESS BASES ON ONLY 7 WORLD PLANETS. IN OUR MERCHANT TRADE BARTERING WE OURSELVES, WHICH IS TO SAY HUMNA HUMNA, HAVE GONE TRAVELLED THE FARTHEST AND THE MOST MANY PLACES OF ANY RACE, AND THUS CONSEQUENTLY WE KNOW THE MOST INFORMATION DATA ABOUT THIS SECTOR AREA THAN ANY OTHER RACE WHO ARE NOT OURSELVES. TO US, OURSELVES, TRADE BARTER EXCHANGE OF GOODS AND ITEMS FOR MUTUAL GAIN IS SACRED NOT TO MENTION. WE US SHARE OUR INFORMATION DATA CONCERNING TRADE ONLY WITH THOSE THEM WE HAVE COME TO KNOW AND TRUST OVER A PERIOD OF TIME AFTER A WHILE. ON OUR BIRTHDAYS, WHEN WE ARE BORN, ALL AND EACH HUMNA HUMNA IS GIVEN SHYNEUM FUEL-MONEY BY THEIR HUTCH-MATES. AS WE GROW UP WE MUST CERTAINLY USE THIS TO BARTER FOR FOOD AND CLOTHING ITEM THINGS FROM OUR PARENTS. WE US CANNOT COMPREHEND UNDERSTAND RACES LIKE THE DJABOON, NATHRACHH, DRAFFA BASTII, OR TEEELVEEE FOR EXAMPLE, SUCH AS THEM, WHO TRADE BUT DO NOT BARGAIN BARTER. THE HOME TERRITORY REGION ABORIGINAL LOCATION OF OUR RACE PEOPLE HAPPENS TO BE IN THE DOWNSPIN COREWARD REGION OF THIS SPACE SECTOR, AND COINCIDENTALLY AS WELL THIS IS WHERE WE US HUMNA HUMNA COME FROM, THOUGH NOT ORIGINALLY I MIGHT ADD. OH, AND TO MENTION, BY THE WAY, IN CASUAL PASSING, THAT THERE IS A SUBSTANCE ITEM WHICH HUMNA HUMNA CRAVE. IT IS MADE PRODUCED FROM THE CRANIAL SECRETIONS OF THE EXTREMELY SHORT-BODIED TONGI WORMS OF THE TEEELVEEE CREATURE PEOPLE. THE SUBSTANCE IS NAMED LIVELONG, WHICH IS WHAT WE CALL IT, AND INCREASES THE LIFESPAN OF US OURSELVES. [Other Beings] THE SPEMIN CREATURES, WHOM WE OURSELVES DO NOT PARTICULARLY LIKE, APPEARED IN THIS REGION AREA ABOUT 44,000 OF YOUR HOURS AGO, WHICH IS TO SAY 5 YEARS. AT FIRST IN THE BEGINNING THEY SEEMED HARMLESS, THEN SUDDENLY ALL OF A SUDDEN THEY SEEMED TO HAVE A POWERFUL NEW TECHNOLOGY WHICH THEY DID NOT HAVE BEFORE THIS. THE NEW TECHNOLOGY OF THE SPEMIN BLOB CREATURES, WHOM WE DO NOT PARTICULARLY LIKE, STRONGLY RESEMBLES AND SEEMS TO LOOK LIKE LEGEND STORIES OF A TECHNOLOGY OF AN ANCIENT RACE THAT IS VERY OLD AND USED TO INHABIT THIS REGION AREA. THIS RACE IS CALLED LEGHK. THERE IS A PLANET PLACE LOCATION IN THE STELLAR STAR SYSTEM WHICH IS LOCATED IN THE APPROXIMATE LOCATION OF 158 X 183. THE PLANET WORLD IS CALLED BY THE SPEMIN ITS NAME WHICH IS BEMFBLUNK, AND NEAR THE CENTER OF THE LARGE EQUATORIAL ISLAND IS AN ANCIENT LEGHK TEMPLE WHICH THE SPEMIN WORSHIP AT. THE DWEENLE BEINGS CREATURE PEOPLE ARE A RACE THAT LIVES IN THE UPSPIN, OUTWARD SECTION AREA OF THIS SPACE REGION. THEY ARE DEPRESSING TO TALK TO BY VIRTUE OF BEING DEPRESSING. ALSO, IN ADDITION, THEY ARE THE OLDEST RACE IN THE REGION AREA. THE DWEENLE ARE PATHETIC, SO TO SPEAK, I MIGHT ADD. AT ONE TIME OR ANOTHER IN THE PAST, THEY THEMSELVES WERE SLAVES TO ALMOST EVERY OTHER EACH RACE IN THIS SPACE SECTOR, BUT HOWEVER, THEY DIDN'T EVEN MAKE GOOD SLAVE SERVANTS. THE DWEENLE SURVIVE SEEMINGLY SOMEHOW IN SPITE OF THEMSELVES IN A WAY TO BE SURE. THEY THEM DO NOT HAVE ANY WEAPON DEVICES ON THEIR SHIPS WHICH ARE, IN ADDITION, QUITE DEFENSELESS. THE G'NUNK ARE NOT ACTUALLY A RACE, BUT REALLY ACTUALLY A COLLECTION OF SPECIES-RACES WHO LIVE INHABIT THE AREA DOWNSPIN OF THE CLOUD BELOW IT. THEY THIS RACE HAVE A SOMEWHAT EXTREME ETHIC BASED ON EVOLUTION. IN THEIR OWN WAY, THEY ARE VERY COMPASSIONATE IN THEIR OWN WAY. IT IS QUITE POSSIBLE TO DO THE TRADE BARTERING EXCHANGE ACTIVITIES WITH THE G'NUNK AND AS WELL COMMUNICATION TALKING. FIRST THOUGH, HOWEVER, YOU MUST PROVE YOU ARE G'NASCH, WHICH IS TO SAY IN OTHER WORDS THAT YOU CAN SURVIVE IN BATTLE BY DEFEATING THEM, FURTHERMORE. SOME ADVICE WHICH IS PERHAPS GOOD\ HUMNA PHRR RFG16OCT89 ) R AT ANY TIME SHOW WEAKNESS WHEN DEALING TALKING TRADING WITH THE G'NUNK PEOPLE. IF THEY SUSPECT THINK YOU ARE VULNERABLE WEAK, THEY WILL ATTACK OUT OF PITY LOVE. THE G'NUNK HAVE A MOST CURIOUS AND PRIMITIVE CULTURE, I MIGHT MENTION. RECENTLY THERE HAS BEEN MUCH ACTIVITY ON THEIR PLANET G'AERSCH WHICH IS LOCATED AT 159, 30. THEY SEEM TO BE CAUGHT UP IN A FRENZY, WORSHIPING SOME PIECE OF WORTHLESS GREEN G LASS WHICH THEY BOUGHT FROM THE SPEMIN. THEY THINK IT IS THE EYE OF THEIR MOTHER GODESS, AND IT IS LOCATED AT 2N, 107W. THE TANDELOU PEOPLE CREATURES HAVE TWO BELIEF RELIGIONS WHICH ARE CALLED RESPECTIVELY ESHVEY AND ESHVARA. FOR THE LENGTH OF TIME THAT WE US HAVE KNOWN OF THEM, THEY HAVE HAD A CONTINUAL SUCCESSION OF WARS IN WHICH THEY HAVE FOUGHT WITH EACH OTHER. WE HAVE FOUND PERSONALLY US THAT TANDELOU ALIENS SEEM TO PREFER USUALLY, GENERALLY SPEAKING, AN OBSEQUIOUS POSTURE, WHICH WE TAKE WHEN TALKING TO THEM. THIS, HOWEVER, IS DIFFICULT FOR US TO KEEP FROM LAUGHING HOWEVER, BECAUSE WE HUMNA HUMNA FIND THEM MOST HUMOROUS FUNNY IN THEIR RIDICULOUS GOD-MASKS, WHICH THEY CONSIDER STYLISH. BOTH THE TANDELOU ESHVEY AND ESHVARA, MEANING THE ESHVARA AS WELL AS THE ESHVEY, CLAIM THE OTHER IS EVIL MALIGNANT BAD. WE US, HOWEVER, HAVE NEVER BEEN ABLE TO SEE THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THEM HAVING TO DO WITH HOW THEY ARE NOT THE SAME. THE GORZEK SATELLITE OBJECT IS LOCATED PRECISELY ORBITING THE GASEOUS PLANET AT SYSTEM 28 X 79 IN THE GENERAL AREA. HE IT IS A VAST AND QUITE LARGE ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE GIVEN TO THE TANDELOU BY THE LOWAR RACE PERSONS, WHO ARE AT THIS TIME DEAD BUT, FOR SOME REASON, LIKED THE TANDELOU, WHICH WE DON'T UNDERSTAND. THE TANDELOU STUPID RACE THINKS BELIEVES THAT GORZEK SATELLITE IS THERE TO SERVE THEM, WHEN IN ACTUALITY ACTUALLY AND IN POINT OF FACT THE LOWAR ALIENS PUT HIM IT THERE TO MAKE SURE CERTAIN THE ESHVEY AND ESHVARA WOULD NOT DESTROY KILL OBLITERATE EACH OTHER. THE NGKHERARLA ARE CERTAINLY PROBABLY PERHAPS THE STRANGEST OF ODD CREATURE THINGS. IN A REGULAR CYCLE, WHICH REPEATS ITSELF, THEY METAMORPHOSE FROM ONE BODY PERSONALITY TO ANOTHER, OF WHICH THERE ARE 3, I MIGHT ADD. EACH IS A DIFFERENT SEX, AND ON ONE PARTICULAR DAY OF THE YEAR ALL 3 SEXES OCCUR AND REPRODUCTIVE ACTIVITIES ENSUE, WITH CONSIDERABLE GUSTO. THE FIRST 10 DAYS OF EACH MONTH, WHICH ARE IN THE BEGINNING, ARE THE DAYS IN WHICH THE NG SEX IS DOMINANT. THEY THEM ARE EXTREMELY DANGEROUS VIOLENT IN PARTICULAR, AND DO NOT EVEN TRADE FOR MUTUAL PROFIT AND GAIN. LITTLE IS KNOWN OF THE NG SEX CREATURES, AND WE DO NOT KNOW A GREAT DEAL ABOUT THEM. KHER SEX IS THE SECOND PHASE, WHICH FOLLOWS THE FIRST. THIS IS THE SECOND 10 DAYS OF EACH MONTH, EVERY MONTH. THE KHER ARE CRAZY INSANE AFTER A FASHION, HOWEVER, AND IN SOME RESPECT THEY WILL TRADE TO A DEGREE. PROBABLY ONLY THE ARLA UNDERSTAND THEM, SINCE WE DO NOT UNDERSTAND THEM. WE HAVE FOUND DISCOVERED THAT THE ONLY FEASIBLE PRACTICAL APPROACH WAY TO DEAL WITH THE KHER WHICH SEEMS TO RESULT IN NOT BEING SHOT AT AND SUBSEQUENTLY KILLED AT TIMES IS TO SAY NOTHING AND BE QUIET AFTER HAILING THEM. WE DO NOT UNDERSTAND THIS THOUGH, HOWEVER. THE ARLA SEX IS, OF COURSE AND NEEDLESS TO SAY, DOMINANT DURING THE LAST 10 DAYS OF EACH MONTH PERIOD. THEY THEMSELVES ARE LOGICAL IN ADDITION TO WHICH AND ALSO RESULTING IN AN ADVANCED SCIENCE WHICH THEY POSSESS. FTEN THEY WORKED CLOSELY TOGETHER AND WITH THE LOWAR, ESPECIALLY IN THEIR STUDIES RESEARCH OF THE LEGHK ALIEN RACE PEOPLE. THE UMANU CREATURES ARE NOW AT THIS TIME THE SINGLE AND ONLY RACE TO INHABIT AND LIVE IN THE CLOUD, SINCE THEY DESTROYED THE LOWAR, NOT TO MENTION. BEWARE! THEY ARE FORMIDABLE DANGEROUS DEADLY. THE ONLY TECHNOLOGY SCIENCE TO MATCH THEIR'S IS THAT OF THE ANCIENT AND LONG-DEAD LEGHK RACE SPECIES. [The Past] INTERPLANETARY TRADE BARTER EXCHANGE IS NOT DOING SO GOOD THESE DAYS, IF I MAY SAY SO, AND IN FACT IS DOING RATHER POORLY AS WELL, I MIGHT ADD. THINGS ARE NOT AS THEY WERE BACK IN THE GOLDEN AGE OF TRADE, WHICH WAS APPROXIMATELY, THOUGH NOT PRECISELY, AROUND 450 OF YOUR YEARS AGO, IN THE PAST BEFORE NOW. WITH THE RECENT DEPREDATIONS OF THE SPEMIN, NOT TO MENTION THEIR ANNOYING ATTACKS, BARTER AND TRADING OF GOODS AND ITEMS HAS BECOME A DIFFICULT PROPOSITION, TO SAY THE LEAST, I MIGHT ADD, AND PROFITABLE ONLY FOR US OURSELVES HUMNA HUMNA, THOUGH JUST BARELY, ALMOST. APPROXIMATELY ABOUT 800 OF YOUR YEARS IN THE PAST AGO, THE LOWAR AND UMANU CAME ARRIVED IN THIS REGION LOCATION AND SETTLED COLONIZED THE CLOUD AREA REGION. BOTH RACE PEOPLES WERE THEN AT THAT TIME FRIENDLY, TO BE SURE. IT IS BELIEVED THAT THE SHYNEUM SUBSTANCE STUFF WAS CREATED WHEN AT WHICH TIME THERE WAS A GREAT SUPERNOVA THAT CREATED THE CLOUD. THEREFORE AND THUSLY, AND FURTHERMORE CONSEQUENTLY, IT IS BELIEVED TO HAVE ORIGINATED ON SOME PLANET PLACE INSIDE THE CLOUD, WHICH PROBABLY AND MOST LIKELY THE LOWAR DISCOVERED 700 YEAR CYCLES AGO. 400 YEAR PERIODS IN THE PAST AGO THE UMANU, FOR NO APPARENT REASON WHICH IS APPARENT, THEN AT THAT TIME BECAME HOSTILE AND, IN ADDITION, ATTACKED AND DESTROYED THE LOWAR, WHO LIVED WITH THEM IN THE CLOUD NEBULA, WHICH IS OFTEN CALLED THE CLOUD NEBULA. SINCE THEN, NO NEW SHYNEUM HAS BEEN FORTHCOMING. WE HUMNA HUMNA US, FORTUNATELY HAVING HAD VAST AND QUITE LARGE STORES OF SHYNEUM SUBSTANCE, MANAGED ADEQUATELY O.K., UNTIL NOW, I AM SORRY TO SAY, SINCE THEY ARE DEPLETED AS WELL. WE US WOULD OF COURSE GET MORE, EXCEPT THE UMANU MAKE THIS DIFFICULT IMPOSSIBLE. IF ONLY WE HAD A MORE POTENT POWERFUL TECHNOLOGY LIKE THE SPEMIN CREATURES. PREVIOUSLY, PRIOR TO AND BEFORE THE GOLDEN AGE, THERE WAS CONSIDERABLE AND SUBSTANTIAL CONTROVERSY OVER THE USE OF ENDURIUM FUEL. THEN, WITH THE INTRODUCTION OF SHYNEUM, THERE WAS, I MIGHT MENTION, AND IN FACT I WILL, A GENERAL BAN ON ENDURIUM. NOW THE G'NUNK RACE CREATURES HAVE STARTED USING IT AGAIN ONCE MORE, NOTWITHSTANDING THIS, CAN YOU BELIEVE. AND SPEAKING OF THE PAST WHICH HAPPENED A LONG TIME AGO, A RACE SPECIES INHABITED THIS REGION IN PARTICULAR AND CALLED THEMSELVES LEGHK. THEY THEM WERE PEACEFUL, WIDESPREAD, AND HIGHLY ADVANCED, BUTHOWEVER WE OURSELVES KNOW LITTLE ELSE ABOUT THEM, BECAUSE WE DON'T KNOW A LOT ABOUT THEM. LEGHK RUINS CAN BE FOUND SCATTERED ALL OVER SPACE, SINCE THEYARE SCATTERED ALL OVER SPACE. SOME MAY PERHAPS MIGHT POSSIBLY BE FOUND IF ONE WERE TO LOOK SEARCHING AT THESE LOCATION AREAS- 6TH PLANET OF 105 X 75 - INNER PLANET OF 60 X 156 - ICE PLANET AT 207 X 37. THE LOWAR CREATURES, WHO WERE PHOTOSYNTHETIC ALSO LIKE THE TANDELOU, I MIGHT MENTION AS AN INTERESTING ASIDE WORTH MENTIONING, USED TO STUDY THE OLD ANCIENT LEGHK. THE BASE CENTER FOR THEIR STUDIES WHICH I AM TALKING ABOUT ATTHE MOMENT WAS ON THE PLANET WORLD CALLED ELTHESH. THE LOWAR CREATURES' STUDIES OF THE LEGHK BEINGS GREATLY INTENSIFIED AND INCREASED PRECEDING AND JUST BEFORE THEY WERE DESTROYED OBLITERATED BY THE UMANU. US WE BELIEVE THEY WERE SEARCHING FOR SOMETHING THAT MIGHT PERHAPS HAVE HELPED THEM PROTECT THEMSELVES IN ADDITION, AND ALSO AS WELL WE THINK THEY ALMOST SUCCEEDED, BUT NOT QUITE, NEEDLESS TO SAY. THERE IS ANOTHER RACE WHICH IS THE ONLY OTHER RACE WHICH IS AS OLD AS THE LEGHK, AND THIS IS THE DWEENLE, WHO ARE A VERY OLD RACE. IT IS DIFFICULT, HOWEVER, THOUGH, GETTING USEFUL INFORMATION OUT OF THEM, WHICH YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED, SINCE WE HAVE NOTICED THIS. SINCE THE GORZEK INTELLIGENT SATELLITE, WHICH WE MIGHT PERHAPS HAVE MENTIONED WHEN TALKING ABOUT OTHER RACES AT THAT TIME, WAS BUILT BY THE LOWAR FOR THE TANDELOU, IT COINCIDENTALLY KNOWS ALOT OF WHAT THE LOWAR KNEW, BY THE WAY. ALSO AND ADDITIONALLY, THE LOWAR CREATURES WERE ASSISTED IN THEIR STUDIES OF THE LEGHK FROM TIME TO TIME AT CERTAIN TIMES, INFACT FAIRLY OFTEN, WHICH IS TO SAY USUALLY, BY THE ARLA. LIKE US OURSELVES THEY ARE INTELLIGENT CREATURE BEINGS, BUT HOWEVER, CERTAINLY THEY LACK OUR COMMUNICATIONS SKILL CAPABILITIES. [Trade] (Hostile/Neutral state) CERTAINLY YOU MUST NO DOUBT BE AWARE THAT TRADE INFORMATION CONCERNING TRADE IS CERTAINLY SACRED AND, BY THE WAY, CONFIDENTIAL. OF COURSE, WE ARE MOST AMENABLE AND ALSO WILLING IN FACT TO SHARE THIS INFORMATION DATA WITH FRIEND RELATIONS WHOM WE TRUST, NO OFFENSE I'M SURE. PARDON MY SAYING SO, BUT YOU HAVE GOT TO BE MAKING A JOKE. THIS MUST BE THE CASE, SINCE OF COURSE TRADE INFORMATION IS QUITE UNEQUIVOCALLY HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL. FIRST YOUR SOMEWHAT BELLIGERENT ATTITUDE AND NOW THIS NON-CIRCUMSPECT INQUIRY LEAVE ME SOMEWHAT NON-PLUSSED AND EVEN CHAGRINED, I MUST SAY. [Trade] (Friendly state) 2 SAFE FLUX PATH ROUTES, WHICH ARE LESS DANGEROUS THAN THE MORE DANGEROUS ROUTES, EXIST FOR TRAVEL THROUGH THE CLOUD. ONE OF THESE GOES FROM TOP TO BOTTOM, AND THE OTHER FROM SIDETO SIDE, IF I DO SAY SO. THE COORDINATES RESPECTIVELY AND IN ORDER ARE- 156 X 47 - 98 X 197 AND 69 X 134 - 173 X 164. EVEN THE YOUNGEST HUMNA HUMNA WHO CAN BARELY HARDLY BARTER TRADE YET KNOWS THAT IT IS THE TRADE EXHCANGE OF SPECIALTY ITEMS WHERE REAL PROFIT GAINS ARE MADE. FOR THIS, ONE MUST KNOW WHO ONE'S BUYERS ARE, AND FOR THIS PURPOSE REASON TRADE ROUTE MAPS ARE EXTREMELY USEFUL HELPFUL. OFTEN AS WELL AS SOMETIMES IT IS THE CASE THAT A WISE TRADER WHO IS WISE MUST FIRST WIN THE FRIENDSHIP TRUST OF THOSE HE TRADE BARTERS WITH BY BRINGING THEM SOMETHING IN TRADE WHICH THEY VALUE HIGHLY AND MUCH, I DARE SAY. OUR TRADER INFORMATION BUOYS WHICH CIRCLE TRADE PLANETS MARK THESE ITEM THINGS WITH A STAR SIGN. THE KHER PEOPLE SELL TRADE A DEVICE WHICH SOME HUMNA HUMNA AMBASSADOR TRADER PEOPLE USE TO AID THEM IN TRADE DEALINGS. IT IS CALLED A PSYCHIC PROBE, AND IT FUNCTION OPERATES BY CHANGING COLOR HUE DEPENDING ON THE EMOTIONAL STATE OF THOSE YOU DEAL WITH. OF COURSE, HUMNA HUMNA DO NOT NEED REQUIRE THIS DEVICE FOR HIGHLY SKILLED TRADING CERTAINLY. WE US HUMNA HUMNA UTILIZE, AND SOMETIMES MAKE USE OF, 2 TYPES OF SCANNERS WHICH ARE EXTREMELY USEFUL IN NAVIGATION, WHICH EXPLAINS WHY WE USE THEM. THESE ARE THE FLUX SCAN AND THE ENCOUNTER SCAN. THESE CAN BE BOUGHT PURCHASED FROM TRADE CENTER PLACES IN THE SYSTEMS AT 216 X 45 AND 237 X 88, RESPECTIVELY. YOU WILL FIND, AND MAY DISCOVER, THOUGH NOW I HAVE TOLD YOU, SO YOU ALREADY KNOW, THAT A SMALL AMOUNT OF LIVELONG SUBSTANCE FROM THE TEEELVEEE CREATURES CAN GREATLY FACILITATE TRADE BARTER ACTIVITIES WITH US HUMNA HUMNA. THE SORRY SAD DWEENLE CREATURES HAVE TRADE CENTER PLACES ON ALL 3 OF THEIR FROZEN HOMEWORLD PLANETS. ANY OF THESE WILL GLADLY AND HAPPILY PURCHASE THE WONDERFUL AMUSO-BALLS WHICH WE US HUMNA HUMNA SELL ON OUR PLANET, CALLED MOST APPROPRIATELY 'BEST PRICES', WHICH IS DEFINITELY THE SECOND PLANET IN SYSTEM 237 X 41. THE QUICKEST BEST WAY TO MAKE A CRAZY TANDELOU PLANT CREATURE HAPPY ECSTATIC IS TO BRING IT SOME GOD MASKS IN TRADE BARTER FROM THE DWEENLE. THESE ITEM OBJECTS ARE CONSIDERED EXTREMELY STYLISH AMONG THE WELL-TO-DO AND, IN ADDITION AND AS WELL, THEY BELIEVE WEARING THEM IMPARTS A FRIGHTENING AND IMPRESSIVE ASPECT. THE G'NUNK CREATURES HAVE POSSESS A POWERFUL FORMIDABLE DEVICE WHICH ENABLES THEM TO BRIEFLY AND MOMENTARILY DROP AN OPPONENT'S SHIELDS. ALL WE KNOW ABOUT THE ITEM OBJECT IS THAT ITS OPERATION REQUIRES LARGE AMOUNTS OF COBALT WHICH IS NECESSARY TO USE IT, AND AS WELL THE PRESENCE OF A G'NUNK CREW MEMBER PERSON. [General Info] AT THE COORDINATE LOCATION OF 198 X 154, SPECIFICALLY, THERE EXIST THE RUINS OF A SPACE VESSEL CRAFT WHICH WE HAVE IDENTIFIED TO HAVE THE IDENTITY OF A LOWAR SPACE CRAFT, WHICH HAS BEEN THERE FOR A CONSIDERABLY LONG TIME, WHICH IS TO SAY PRECISELY, THOUGH NOT EXACTLY, 400 OF YOUR YEARS PREVIOUSLY PRIOR TO THIS TIME. IT MAY PERHAPS BE, I MIGHT CONJECTURE, THAT YOUR SCANNERS HAVE DETECTED A STRANGE AND ANOMALOUS ANOMALY AT THE SPACE POSITION COORDINATE LOCATION OF 244 X 149. I SUGGEST ADVISE CAUTION AS WE HUMNA HUMNA HAVE SEEN MANY, AND I MIGHT ADD SEVERAL, SHIP VESSELS GO INTO IT AND NOT RETURN OR EVEN COME BACK. OUR HUMNA HUMNA SCIENTISTS BELIEVE, FOR SOME REASON WHICH I DO NOT KNOW, THAT THE DERELICT SHIP TO WHICH WE HAVE REFERRED TO ALREADY HAD SOMEHOW PASSED THROUGH AND SUBSEQUENTLY AFTERWARD RETURNED FROM THE ANOMALY OF WHICH I HAVE ALSO SPOKEN PREVIOUSLY BEFORE. A PIECE OF USEFUL INFORMATION WHICH CAN BE MOST USEFUL, ESPECIALLY TO TRAVELLER WAYFARER EXPLORERS SUCH AS OURSELVES, IS THAT ANY SENTIENT CREATURE PEOPLE THAT TRADE ARE, GENERALLY SPEAKING, INTERESTED IN PURCHASE BUYING AT LEAST ONE OF THEIR NATIVE LIFEFORM CREATURES, SO A WAYFARER TRAVELLER CAN ALWAYS PICK UP SOME QUICK FUEL SHYNEUM, IF NEED BE. NOT TOO LONG AGO RECENTLY, THE BOTHERSOME SPEMIN CREATURES INVADED AND TOOK OVER A PLANET WORLD OF OURS WHICH IS, BY THE WAY, CALLED 'HOOPLAH', AND WHICH HAPPENS TO BE IN A SYSTEM IN A TINY NEBULA JUST UPSPIN OF THE TOPAZ CLUSTER. WE BELIEVE THERE ARE STILL VALUABLE EQUIPMENT DEVICES IN A RUIN MIDWAY UP THE STEEPEST FACE OF THE GREAT NORTHFACING CLIFFS OF PSHHHPSHHHPSHHH. IF YOU GO TO HOOPLAH YOU MAY PERHAPS ENCOUNTER ONE OR TWO SLIGHTLY DANGEROUS, SOMEWHAT DEADLY CREATURES. IN PARTICULAR, WE SUGGEST YOU AVOID THE DARK LIGHTNING. WE HAVE SEEN OBSERVED THIS ON OTHER PLANET WORLDS ALSO AS WELL, AND DO NOT KNOW IF IT IS A CREATURE OR PERHAPS A PHENOMENON. WE ADVISE SUGGEST, HOWEVER, RUNNING AWAY AT EXTREMELY HIGH SPEEDS. PERHAPS POSSIBLY YOU ARE INTERESTED IN PLANETS WHICH ARE MOST CERTAINLY COLONIZABLE SUCH AS THE ONE IN THE SYSTEM LOCATED AT 133,7. IF SO, I MIGHT MENTION THAT THERE IS ONE IN THAT SYSTEM. SINCE WE ARE SUCH GOOD FRIEND BUDDIES I WILL ALSO MAKE MENTION AT THIS TIME OF A MOST PERFECT COLONY WORLD IN THE G-CLASS SYSTEM AT THE TOP OF THE HOOK CONSTELLATION. I MIGHT ALSO MENTION, BY THE WAY, IN CASUAL PASSING, THAT WE HUMNA HUMNA DO MOST OF OUR MINING ON THE EXCELLENT MINING PLANETS IN OUR HOME SYSTEM OF 216,45. |
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DWEENLE: (Friendly) |
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| [Name Syllables] EE SCUBBA OOP BLAH GOOMB WAH PY DOODLE SMEZ WOE HAR DUM BISTO DODUM SCREE PRUTZ [Hails/Responses] NOT THAT IT MAKES THE SLIGHTEST BIT OF DIFFERENCE, BUT THIS IS COMMANDER % OF THE DWEENLE SHIP +. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT WE'RE DOING HERE. IF YOU WANT TO RESPOND GO AHEAD, IF YOU DON'T IT'S NOT GOING TO KILL ME. PLEASE DON'T FEEL OBLIGATED TO RESPOND. WE UNDERSTAND THAT NO ONE WANTS TO TALK TO US. WHY SHOULD THEY? MOST OTHER RACES JUST COME HERE FOR A LITTLE TARGET PRACTICE. THIS IS COMMANDER % OF THE SHIP +, NOT THAT I EVER WANTED THIS JOB, ANYWAY. COME TO THINK OF IT, THERE WEREN'T ANY JOBS I WANTED TO DO. IT'S ALL SO POINTLESS, DON'T YOU THINK? WELL, YOU HAVEN'T STARTED SHOOTING AT US, SO I SUPPOSE YOU PROBABLY WANT TO TALK. I GUESS I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TO DO RIGHT NOW. THIS IS CAPTAIN %--PLEASE DON'T FEEL YOU NEED TO RESPOND. OH, WONDERFUL COMMANDER *. YOU HAVE RETURNED TO BRING US MORE NID BERRIES. HALLELUJAH! YOU ARE SO CONSIDERATE. I TOLD THE OTHERS YOU WOULD BE BACK WITH MORE. HURRAH! HURRAH! WELCOME BACK, COMMANDER *. WE'RE AS HAPPY TO SEE YOU AS WE EVER ARE TO SEE ANYBODY. THIS IS CAPTAIN %. OBVIOUSLY YOU HAVE EVERY INTENTION OF DESTROYING US. NOW WHY DOESN'T THIS SUPRISE ME. PERHAPS YOU WOULD HONOR US WITH THE PRIVILEGE OF TALKING TO YOU BEFORE YOU BLAST US. THIS IS THE DWEENLE SHIP +. SURRENDER IMMEDIATELY OR YOUR SHIP WILL BE ANNIHILATED. WAIT A MINUTE.... WHAT I MEANT TO SAY WAS, SURRENDER IMMEDIATELY OR OUR SHIP WILL BE ANNIHILATED. ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, BUT DON'T EXPECT ME TO TALK TOO LONG--I'M REALLY NOT FEELING VERY WELL TODAY. OH, I KNOW, I KNOW, YOU COULDN'T CARE LESS ABOUT HOW I FEEL. EXCUSE ME FOR LIVING. THIS IS COMMANDER %. PERHAPS I SHOULD TELL YOU THAT YOU'RE NOT GOING TO ENJOY TALKING TO US. NO ONE EVER DOES. WE UNDERSTAND. WE DON'T ENJOY TALKING TO EACH OTHER, EITHER. RIGHT, AND I'M COMMANDER %--BIG DEAL. I SUPPOSE NOW YOU'LL EXPECT ME TO ANSWER LOTS OF UNINTERESTING QUESTIONS. MY FEELING IS WHY WASTE THE EFFORT WHEN WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE, ANYWAY. AH, COMMANDER *, AND YOU HAVE BROUGHT YOUR NICE SHIP &! HOW IS YOUR WONDERFUL CREW? CAN IT BE THAT YOU REALLY DO LIKE US? OF COURSE, IF YOU DO, YOU WILL HAVE BROUGHT MORE BERRIES. IT IS GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN, COMMANDER *. I AM %. OF COURSE, YOU WON'T REMEMBER ME. PROBABLY TO YOU, ALL DWEENLE LOOK ALIKE. WELL, DON'T FEEL BAD, WE CAN'T TELL EACH OTHER APART, EITHER. [Terminate Communications] IMMENSE DEPRESSION DESCENDS UPON ME. I CAN'T GO ON. IN POETIC DISPAIR I DRIFT AWAY. THIS DOESN'T MATTER. NOTHING MATTERS. I'M LEAVING. WELL, I GUESS WE'LL GO NOW. DON'T WORRY ABOUT US, WE'LL GET ALONG SOMEHOW. AND SO WHAT IF WE DON'T. WHO CARES. YOU HAVE BEEN SO GOOD AND KIND TO US. THANK YOU FOR PITYING US. WE WON'T KEEP YOU ANY LONGER. [Statements] (before Nid Berries) I DON'T MEAN TO BE PARTICULARLY NEGATIVE, BUT I THINK THIS IS THE WORST DAY OF MY ENTIRE LIFE. ON THE OTHER HAND, THERE'S ALWAYS TOMORROW. YOU DON'T REALLY BELIEVE THAT ANY OF THIS STUFF REALLY MATTERS, DO YOU? OH, I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE IT'S JUST ME THAT DOESN'T MATTER. IF ONLY YOU COULD PROVE THAT YOU SOMEHOW LIKED US. THEN WE COULD FINALLY TELL SOMEONE ALL OF THE VALUABLE INFORMATION THAT WE KNOW. IF ONLY... BUT NO, I GUESS I'M JUST TALKING CRAZY. OF COURSE YOU HATE US. PROBABLY YOU'RE WONDERING WHY ALL THREE OF OUR HOME PLANETS ARE ICE WORLDS WHEN WE DWEENLE HATE THE COLD AND COULD EASILY MOVE. ON THE OTHER HAND, MAYBE YOU WEREN'T WONDERING. MAYBE YOU COULDN'T CARE LESS IF WE'RE MISERABLE. PLEASE DON'T FEEL LIKE YOU NEED TO STAY AND TALK WITH US. I'M SURE YOU'VE GOT MANY MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO. PERHAPS YOU COULD COME BACK LATER WHEN I'M IN A BETTER MOOD. WAIT A MINUTE. I AM IN A BETTER MOOD. WELL, IF YOU DON'T WANT TO COME BACK AT ALL THATS O.K. IN FACT, MAYBE THATS BEST. ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE INTERESTED IN ANY OF THIS? GO AHEAD, SHOOT US. YOU WERE GOING TO ALL ALONG, ANYWAY. SEE? WE TOLD YOU YOU HATED US. FINE, DESTROY US--WHO CARES? IF YOU DON'T, SOMEONE ELSE WILL. WAIT! DON'T DESTROY US YET. LET ME CALL MORE OF OUR SHIPS HERE, SO YOU CAN WIPE OUT OUR ENTIRE RACE AT ONCE. UNDOUBTEDLY WE'VE DONE SOMETHING TO PROVOKE YOU. GO AHEAD AND BLAST US, WE DESERVE IT. I CAN UNDERSTAND WHY YOU'D WANT TO BE HOSTILE. AFTER ALL, WITHOUT SHIELDS OR WEAPONS, WE MUST REPRESENT QUITE A THREAT TO YOU. MAYBE TO BE SAFE, YOU'D BETTER DESTROY US NOW. NO SENSE IN PROLONGING THIS. YOU MAY AS WELL GO AHEAD AND DESTROY US NOW. I'M SURE YOU HAVE A BUSY SCHEDULE. RIGHT, WE'RE REALLY SCARED. BIG DEAL. GO AHEAD AND SHOOT US. SURE, YOU MAY DESTROY US, BUT WE'LL HAVE THE LAST LAUGH BECAUSE YOU'LL HAVE WASTED YOUR ENERGY. GO AHEAD AND BLAST US. WE'LL BE BETTER OFF. EVERYONE HATES US. GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD! FAREWELL CAPRICIOUS WINDS OF FATE! ADIEU MALICIOUS GODS OF FORTUNE! O.K. SHOOT NOW. FAREWELL! SO LONG! O.K. FIRE. GOODBYE, GOODBYE! AU REVOIR! WELL? THAT IS WHAT YOU INTEND ISN'T IT? I'LL BET YOU WOULD NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS TAKE ON A DWEENLE AS A CREWMEMBER ON YOUR SHIP, SINCE YOU DESPISE US SO MUCH. I CERTAINLY DON'T BLAME YOU. I HATE HAVING US ON OUR SHIP. IF YOU HAD THE CHANCE YOU WOULDN'T, WOULD YOU? PROBABLY NOT. [Statements] (after Nid Berries) THANK YOU, THANK YOU. YOU ARE TOO KIND. PLEASE ACCEPT THIS SHYNEUM. HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY HAVE KNOWN THAT WE LIKED NID BERRIES? YOUR RACE MUST BE TELEPATHIC. YOU MUST LIKE US, AFTER ALL. HOW WONDERFUL. NOW YOU CAN COME AND LIVE WITH US-- UNLESS, OF COURSE, YOU REALLY DO HATE US. WE WILL PRAISE YOUR KINDNESS AND WORSHIP YOU FOR CENTURIES. ALRIGHT, SO MAYBE THAT'S AN EXAGGERATION, BUT I'M SURE THE BERRIES WERE VERY GOOD--NOT THAT I GOT ANY MYSELF. I CAN'T IMAGINE WHY YOU WOULD CARE ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED IN THE PAST, OR FOR THAT MATTER, THE PRESENT OR THE FUTURE, BUT IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS, I SUPPOSE I MIGHT BE ABLE TO REMEMBER A FEW THINGS. LET'S NOT TALK. LET'S JUST ENJOY BEING TOGETHER...FRIEND. BY THE WAY, FRIENDS BRING OTHER FRIENDS MORE NID BERRIES. [Questions] YOU HAVE BROUGHT US NID BERRIES AND PROVEN THAT YOU LOVE US. OH, THIS MAKES ME SO HAPPY I COULD ALMOST SMILE. YOU DO LOVE US, DON'T YOU? PERHAPS THE NID BERRIES WERE JUST A CRUEL TRICK TO TOY WITH OUR DELICATE EMOTIONS. I SUPPOSE NOW YOU'LL JUST BLOW US UP AND HAVE A GOOD LAUGH. OR MAYBE YOU'D LIKE US TO JUST KILL OURSELVES AND SAVE YOU THE TROUBLE. WOULD YOU LIKE THAT? NOW, BE HONEST. I BET YOU FIND US JUST A LITTLE DEPRESSING TO TALK TO. AM I RIGHT? GO AHEAD, TELL THE TRUTH. DON'T WORRY ABOUT HURTING OUR FEELINGS. OF COURSE YOU HATE US, LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, BUT IF, HYPOTHETICALLY SPEAKING, YOU WERE OFFERED THE CHANCE TO PROVE THAT YOU LIKED US, WOULD YOU DO IT? IF YOU DID LIKE US I MEAN, WHICH OF COURSE YOU DON'T, BUT IF YOU DID? WE PERCEIVE THAT YOU HAVE SOME NID BERRY BUSHES. WOULD YOU BE SO KIND AS TO GIVE THEM TO US? PROBABLY THE LAST THING YOU WANT IS TO HAVE A DWEENLE ON YOUR CREW, BUT IF YOU WANTED TO, WE COULD EXCHANGE CREWMEMBERS. DON'T WORRY ABOUT HURTING OUR FEELINGS BY SAYING NO, MAYBE WE'LL JUST GO KILL OURSLEVES. SIGH. WELL? WHAT DO YOU SAY? [Waiting for Response] NOT THAT I CARE ONE WAY OR ANOTHER, BUT AN ANSWER OF SOME SORT MIGHT BE NICE. DON'T RUSH YOURSELF. ANY TIME NOW IS O.K. [Themselves] YOU DON'T HAVE TO ASK ABOUT US TO TRY TO MAKE US FEEL GOOD. WE EXPECT YOU TO DESPISE US, JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. IN FACT, WHY DON'T YOU JUST OPEN FIRE ON US NOW AND GET THIS OVER WITH. IF YOU INSIST, I SUPPOSE THERE ARE ONE OR TWO THINGS I CAN TELL YOU ABOUT US, BUT IT'S REALLY VERY DEPRESSING. FEEL FREE TO JUST LEAVE IF YOU GET TOO BORED. WE DWEENLE HAVE BEEN AROUND FOR A VERY LONG TIME. IN FACT, IT SEEMS LIKE FOREVER. BY ALL ODDS, WE SHOULD HAVE BEEN WIPED OUT MILLENIA AGO. WHO KNOWS WHY WE SURVIVED--IN FACT, WHO CARES? WE DON'T HAVE A CULTURE, EXACTLY. WE DWEENLE FIND IT TOO DEPRESSING TO BE WITH EACH OTHER. WE DON'T HAVE ANY ART OR LITERATURE, BECAUSE WE DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO EXPRESS. THE ONLY REASON THAT WE TRADE OR BUILD SPACESHIPS IS BECAUSE WE DON'T HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TO DO. THE ONLY HISTORY OR TRADITION WE HAVE IS PASSED ALONG ORALLY, THROUGH SONG. THESE SONGS ARE GENERALLY SO LONG AND SO DEPRESSING THAT NO RACE OTHER THAN THE DWEENLE HAS EVER BEEN ABLE TO LISTEN TO ONE ALL THE WAY THROUGH WITHOUT EITHER FALLING ASLEEP OR BECOMING SUICIDALLY DEPRESSED. AT ONE TIME OR ANOTHER, WE'VE BEEN SLAVES TO ALMOST EVERY OTHER RACE IN THIS SECTOR. AFTER A WHILE, THEY ALWAYS GIVE UP ON US. MAYBE YOU'D LIKE TO MAKE US INTO SLAVES TOO, AND TORTURE AND KILL US. GO AHEAD. WHY SHOULD YOU BE ANY DIFFERENT FROM THE OTHERS? THE ONLY OTHER RACE THAT DOESN'T THOROUGHLY DESPISE US IS THE HUMNA HUMNA, AND THEY ONLY LOOK DOWN ON US. THAT'S BECAUSE WE PROVIDE THEM WITH THE GODMASKS WHICH THEY SELL TO THE TANDELOU. ANY PIECE OF OLD JUNK WE HAVE LYING AROUND WE JUST PUT A STRAP ON AND CALL IT A GODMASK. THERE IS ONE THING IN THE UNIVERSE THAT CAN MAKE A DWEENLE HAPPY, NOT THAT YOU WOULD CARE ONE WAY OR THE OTHER. THAT'S BERRIES FROM A PLANT CALLED A NID BERRY BUSH. THE ONLY PLACE THESE GROW IS ON A PLANET THAT IS IN A SYSTEM IN THE MIDDLE OF A CONSTELLATION OF WHITE STARS IN THE SHAPE OF AN ARROW. THIS IS IN G'NUNK SPACE. WE DON'T EXPECT YOU TO BRING US ANY NID BERRIES. WHY SHOULD YOU? IT'S A LOT OF TROUBLE AND AFTER ALL, WHO ARE WE? HEY, DON'T GO OUT OF YOUR WAY OR ANYTHING. [Other Beings] MOST OF THE OTHER RACES HATE US. THOSE THAT DON'T HATE US JUST HAVEN'T SPENT MUCH TIME WITH US. IF YOU GET THE URGE TO SHOOT AT US, WE'LL UNDERSTAND--EVERYONE ELSE DOES. ACTUALLY, THERE WAS ONE RACE THAT WAS NICE TO US A LONG TIME AGO. THEY EVEN BROUGHT US NID BERRIES. THEY WERE THE LOWAR. OF COURSE, THEY WERE DESTROYED. IN ONE WAY OR ANOTHER, I'M SURE IT WAS OUR FAULT. WHY DO YOU KEEP ASKING ME QUESTIONS? NONE OF THIS MATTERS. YOU DON'T MATTER, I DON'T MATTER. MAYBE I'LL JUST GO TO SLEEP. I SUPPOSE YOU'VE MET THE HUMNA HUMNA. THEY KNOW MORE ABOUT THE OTHER RACES THAN ANYONE ELSE, SINCE THEY LIKE TO WASTE THEIR TIME TRAVELLING AROUND, BUYING AND SELLING WORTHLESS THINGS, NOT THAT I MEAN TO BE NEGATIVE. THEY LIKE TO PRETEND THEY'RE DIPLOMATS AND AMBASSADORS. WE'VE BEEN TOLD BY THE HUMNA HUMNA THAT THE ONLY WAY TO DEAL WITH THE G'NUNK IS TO ADOPT A HOSTILE POSTURE. I'M AFRAID WE DWEENLE AREN'T VERY GOOD AT THREATENING ANYBODY. IF IT'S WORTH ANYTHING, THOUGH, WE ARE VERY GOOD AT BEING THREATENED. [The Past] (before Nid Berries) WE WEREN'T ALWAYS AS CHEERFUL AS WE ARE NOW. IN THE PAST, WE DWEENLE USED TO BECOME VERY MOROSE AND DEPRESSED. WE ARE A VERY OLD RACE, AND I GUESS WE KNOW A LOT ABOUT THE DISTANT PAST, BUT WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE? WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES ANY OF IT MAKE? WHY SHOULD WE TELL ANYBODY ANYTHING? IT'S TOO MUCH TROUBLE. BESIDES, WE KNOW YOU HATE US. YOU PROBABLY WANT US TO TELL YOU ALL ABOUT THE ANCIENT LEGHK, SINCE WE USED TO KNOW THEM. WELL, WHY DON'T YOU GO TO ELTHESH AND ASK THE LOWAR THERE WHO STUDY THEM? OH, RIGHT, I FORGOT, THEY'RE ALL DEAD. IF YOU WANT TO KNOW ABOUT THE LEGHK, I'M SURE GORZEK OR THE ARLA BOTH KNOW A LOT OF WHAT THE LOWAR DISCOVERED. OF COURSE, THIS ISN'T HALF OF WHAT WE'VE ALWAYS KNOWN, BUT I DON'T LIKE TO BRAG, SO LET'S JUST DROP THE WHOLE SUBJECT. SURE, I HAVE AN ENORMOUS AMOUNT OF INFORMATION ABOUT THE PAST, BUT LET'S BE HONEST, YOU DON'T REALLY CARE ABOUT ME. BESIDES, I'M NOT FEELING VERY WELL RIGHT NOW. I'VE GOT A SPLITTING HEADACHE, AND I'VE BEEN A LITTLE IRREGULAR LATELY. HOW CAN YOU EXPECT A DWEENLE TO THINK STRAIGHT WITH ALL THESE DIFFICULT QUESTIONS? IF ONLY I HAD SOME DELICIOUS NID BERRIES TO INVIGORATE ME. PERHAPS I WILL SING A SAD SONG ABOUT THEM. [The Past] (after Nid Berries) WELL, ACCORDING TO OUR LEGENDS, WHICH ARE PROBABLY ALL WRONG ANYWAY, A MILLION YEARS AGO, GIVE OR TAKE A WEEK, THIS REGION OF SPACE WAS INHABITED BY US DWEENLE AND A RACE CALLED THE LEGHK. WE LIVED IN PEACE AND, HERE'S THE UNBELIEVABLE PART, THEY EVEN SEEMED TO LIKE US. THEN, THE LEGEND GOES, THE LEGHK WERE POSSESSED BY AN AWFUL DEMON. I TOLD YOU THIS WAS PROBABLY WRONG. ANYWAY, THEY STARTED ATTACKING US DWEENLE, WHICH IS UNDERSTANDABLE, BUT THEY ALSO STARTED ATTACKING EACH OTHER. WITHIN A MATTER OF MONTHS, ALL OF THE LEGHK SOMEHOW CHANGED AND BECAME EXTREMELY HOSTILE. DURING THIS TIME, THE LEGHK WHO WERE SLOWER TO CHANGE TRIED TO RESIST, AND THERE WAS A HORRENDOUS WAR. IN THIS WAR, A SUPERNOVA WAS SET OFF, WHICH CAUSED THE FORMATION OF THE CLOUD. NOW, GET THIS, THE STORY GOES THAT, JUST BEFORE ALL THE LEGHK WENT BAD, THE FEW LEGHK WHO WERE LEFT, OPENED A DOOR INTO THE FUTURE, IN AN ATTEMPT TO ESCAPE. THEY DIDN'T MAKE IT THROUGH, THOUGH, AND INSTEAD THE DEMON SENT ITS OFFSPRING THROUGH THE DOOR. ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO HEAR ALL THIS? O.K. WELL. I DIDN'T MAKE THIS STUFF UP, SO IT'S NOT MY FAULT. LEGEND HAS IT THAT THE FEW REMAINING GOOD LEGHK KNEW THEY WOULD SOON BE DESTROYED OR POSSESSED, SO IN AN ATTEMPT TO SAFEGUARD THE KNOWLEDGE OF THEIR CIVILIZATION, THEY CREATED THE GUARDIAN. THE GUARDIAN IS A POWERFUL SATELLITE WHICH ORBITS THE PLANET THAT HOUSES THEIR SACRED HALLS OF MEMORY. THIS IS THE REPOSITORY OF ALL LEGHK LEARNING AND CULTURE. TO GET PAST THE GUARDIAN REQUIRES A KEY TRANSMITTER, WHICH, BY THE WAY, THEY ENTRUSTED TO US DWEENLE. PROBABLY IT WAS BECAUSE THEY LIKED US, OR MAYBE IT WAS BECAUSE THERE WAS NO ONE ELSE TO GIVE IT TO. PERHAPS YOU'D LIKE ME TO TELL YOU WHERE THE HALLS OF MEMORY AND THE GUARDIAN KEY TRANSMITTER ARE. BUT THEN AGAIN, WHAT DO I KNOW. MAYBE YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT THAT STUFF. WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE ANYWAY, RIGHT? SORRY, I'LL JUST SHUT UP. WELL, EVEN IF IT MADE ANY DIFFERENCE WHERE THE TRANSMITTER AND HALLS OF MEMORY WERE, WHICH IT DOESN'T, WE DWEENLE DON'T REMEMBER ANYMORE ANYWAY. WHAT DO YOU EXPECT FROM AN ORAL TRADITION OF STUPID LEGENDS AND DEPRESING SONGS. TO FINISH UP THE STORY, IN SPITE OF THE HOSTILE LEGHK CONSTANTLY BLOWING US UP, WE SOMEHOW MANAGED TO SURVIVE. OH, HAPPY DAY. THEN, 40,000 YEARS AGO, STARS BEGAN FLARING IN A WAVE MOVING FROM COREWARD TO OUTWARD, WHO KNOWS WHY. ANYWAY, THE LEGHK FLED OUTWARD. SEEING OUR CHANCE, WE STAYED BEHIND TO MEET OUR FATE AT LONG LAST. SOMEHOW WE STILL MANAGED TO SURVIVE. OH WELL. [Trade] TRADE? WHY SHOULD YOU CARE ABOUT TRADE? EVERYONE IS JUST OUT TO CHEAT YOU ANYWAY, AND NOW THAT SHYNEUM IS BECOMING SCARCE, THE WHOLE ECONOMY IS GOING TO COLLAPSE. JUST AS WELL, I SUPPOSE. THE HUMNA HUMNA LIKE TO CHEAT US ON A REGULAR BASIS BY SELLING US WORTHLESS, BRIGHTLY COLORED AMUSO-BALLS. THEY'VE BEEN DOING THIS FOR GENERATIONS, AND EVERY DWEENLE HAS ROOMS FILLED WITH THEM. SOME PEOPLE MIGHT SAY WE WERE REALLY STUPID. I GUESS THAT'S NO GREAT SUPRISE. THIS MAY COME AS QUITE A SURPRISE, BUT WE DWEENLE ARE NOT VERY GOOD AT TRADING. IN FACT, WE ENJOY TRADING JUST ABOUT AS MUCH AS I'M ENJOYING THIS CONVERSATION WITH YOU. THE ONLY THING WE SEEM TO KNOW MUCH ABOUT IS THE DISTANT PAST, NOT THAT WE CARE MORE ABOUT THAT THAN ANYTHING ELSE. [General Info] (before Nid Berries) I DON'T KNOW ANY MORE. NONE OF THIS MATTERS, ANYWAY. ASK ME ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE. WHO CARES ABOUT THIS STUFF. CERTAINLY NOT ME. MAYBE SOME OTHER DWEENLE WILL FEEL LIKE TALKING ABOUT THIS SOME MORE. I'M AFRAID I DON'T KNOW ANY MORE ABOUT THIS. I GUESS I'M JUST STUPID. I SHOULD PROBABLY JUST KILL MYSELF. [General Info] (after Nid Berries) WELL, I SUPPOSE SINCE YOU BROUGHT US SOME BERRIES, I COULD EXERT MYSELF AND TELL YOU ONE OR TWO SEMI-INTERESTING THINGS WHICH YOU PROBABLY ALREADY KNOW AND DON'T CARE ABOUT IN THE SLIGHTEST. FOR EXAMPLE, YOU PROBABLY KNOW THAT THERE ARE A COUPLE COLONIZABLE PLANETS IN THE M-CLASS SYSTEM THAT IS DIRECTLY IN THE CENTER OF OUR REGION OF SPACE. I SUPPOSE YOU ALREADY KNOW ABOUT THE COLONIZABLE PLANET IN SYSTEM 2 X 152. I GUESS I'M JUST PESTERING YOU. SORRY, I'LL SHUT UP. I'M ALWAYS DOING THAT. YOU KNOW, YOU SHOULD JUST TELL ME TO SHUT UP. NOW YOU HATE ME. NO DOUBT YOU'VE ALREADY DISCOVERED THE SAFE WAY TO CROSS THE CLOUD IS VIA THE FLUX AT .......OH FORGET IT. IT'S PROBABLY NOT IMPORTANT. WELL, THE SAFE FLUX ACROSS THE CLOUD IS AT 69 X 134 AND 173 X 164. TWO OTHER FLUX NODES ARE 29 X 54 AND 229 X 182. I CAN'T SEE A GOOD REASON TO GO ANYWHERE, BUT IF YOU WANT TO, I SUGGEST BUYING THE HUMNA HUMNA FLUX SCAN FROM ONE OF THEIR TRADING POSTS ON THE THIRD PLANET IN SYSTEM 216 X 45. IT MAY BE OF SOME TINY, MINISCULE, INSIGNIFICANT INTEREST TO KNOW THAT THE CLOUD NEBULA WAS FORMED ABOUT A MILLION YEARS AGO WHEN A SMALL CLUSTER OF 6 STARS WENT SUPERNOVA. PERHAPS YOU ARE INTERESTED IN THE NAMES OF VARIOUS CONSTELLATIONS, SUCH AS 'THE HOOK' AT 55 X 190, 'THE WEE DIPPER' AT 53 X 31, 'THE FALLEN STAR' AT 105 X 17, 'THE TOPAZ CLUSTER' AT 105 X 74, OR 'THE NGA-SENG' CLUSTER AT 202 X 105. OF COURSE, THESE ARE OF NO INTEREST WHATSOEVER TO US. |
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DWEENLE (PAST) |
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| [Name Syllables] EE SCUBBA OOP BLAH GOOMB WAH PY DOODLE SMEZ WOE HAR DUM BISTO DODUM SCREE PRUTZ [Hails/Responses] IF YOU DON'T WANT TO TALK, THAT'S OK BY ME. I'LL JUST GO AND SOAK MY HEAD. I'M NOT SURE WHY I EVEN BOTHER COMING OUT HERE AT ALL. I SUPPOSE I SHOULD MENTION THAT THIS IS THE DWEENLE SHIP +, AS IF YOU REALLY CARE. SIGH. THIS IS CAPTAIN % OF THE DWEENLE SHIP +, IF YOU CAN CALL THIS PIECE OF JUNK A SHIP. I SUPPOSE YOU'RE PROBABLY ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE STRANGE SHIPS FROM THE FUTURE AND YOU'RE LOOKING FOR INFORMATION. YOU'RE THE SECOND ONE THIS MONTH. OH HAPPY DAY. IT'S CAPTAIN *. YOU HAVE RETURNED TO BRING US MORE NID BERRIES. FINALLY SOMEONE WHO REALLY CARES ABOUT US. UNLESS ... PERHAPS YOU WERE JUST FAKING BEFORE. MAYBE YOU DIDN'T BRING US MORE BERRIES. MAYBE YOU DO HATE US. WE THOUGHT YOU MIGHT LIKE TO COME BACK FOR A LITTLE TARGET PRACTICE , SO WE THOUGHT WE'D JUST WAIT HERE AND SAVE YOU THE TROUBLE OF LOOKING FOR US. FEEL FREE TO BLOW US UP AT ANY TIME. OH, AND WE EXPECT YOU'LL WANT TO VERBALLY ABUSE US FIRST, SO JUST GO RIGHT AHEAD. ALRIGHT, I SUPPOSE I CAN TALK FOR A FEW MINUTES. IT'S NOT LIKE I HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TO DO. THIS IS % OF THE DWEENLE SHIP +. SINCE YOU HAVEN'T STARTED SHOOTING AT US, I ASSUME YOU WANT TO PUMP US FOR INFORMATION. FINE. IT DOESN'T MATTER. NOTHING MATTERS. HURRAH. HURRAH. IT'S OUR BEST FRIEND AND LIFELONG PAL *. WE KNEW YOU WOULD COME BACK. NOW YOU WILL NEVER HAVE TO LEAVE US, ISN'T THAT WONDERFUL? I AM DWEENLE %. I LOOK FORWARD TO RECEIVING THE NID BERRIES YOU HAVE BROUGHT FOR ME. YOU ARE A TRUE FRIEND *. I AM DWEENLE +. SOMETHING TELLS ME THAT YOU ARE ATTEMPTING TO INTIMIDATE US. I MIGHT USGGEST THAT YOU DESTROY ONE OR TWO OF OUR SHIPS. THAT USUALLY PROVES PRETTY EFFECTIVE, BUT IF WANT TO BE REALLY SURE, I'D JUST WIPE US ALL OUT. [Terminate Communications] THAT'S IT FOR ME. I'M OUTTA HERE. [Statements] WAS THERE ANYTHING ELSE? YES? YAWN SIGH [Statements] (after Nid Berries) THANK YOU, THANK YOU. YOU ARE TOO KIND. PLEASE ACCEPT THIS SHYNEUM. [Waiting for Response] WELL? [Don't Know] WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE ANYWAY? MAYBE SOME OTHER DWEENLE KNOWS MORE THAN I DO. [Themselves] PLEASE DON'T ASK US ABOUT OURSELVES. IT REALLY IS JUST TOO DEPRESSING. IF YOU'D LIKE SOME GENERAL INFORMATION THOUGH, I SUPPOSE I COULD TELL YOU ABOUT THE LEGHK, THOUGH THAT'S PRETTY DEPRESSING TOO. ARE YOU SURE YOU WOULDN'T LIKE TO HEAR ABOUT THE LEGHK? [Other Beings] WELL, I'M AFRAID ALL I KNOW IS SOME RATHER GENERAL INFORMATION ABOUT THE LEGHK. IT'S NOT VERY INTERESTING, BUT I SUPPOSE I COULD TELL YOU ANYWAY, IF YOU WERE INTERESTED IN GENERAL INFORMATION, BUT I GUESS YOU'RE PROBABLY NOT. [Trade] TRADE? WELL, I GUESS WE USED TO TRADE WITH THE LEGHK. ANYWAY, THEY USED TO FEEL SORRY FOR US AND GAVE US THINGS. I GUESS THAT'S TRADE. I COULD TELL YOU MORE ABOUT THEM IF YOU WANTED SOME GENERAL INFORMATION. [The Past] I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT THE PAST. THAT'S WHEN WE USED TO BE HAPPY. WELL, NOT HAPPY EXACTLY, BUT LESS WRETCHEDLY MISERABLE THAN WE ARE NOW. ACTUALLY, COME TO THINK OF IT, I SUPPOSE WE'VE ALWAYS BEEN THIS WRETCHEDLY MISERABLE. WELL, I STILL DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT THE PAST. OH, SO YOU DON'T CARE HOW I FEEL. WELL, THAT'S NO SURPRISE. IF YOU WANT INFORMATION THAT BADLY, I COULD TELL YOU SOME MARGINALLY INTERESTING GENERAL INFORMATION TYPE THINGS ABOUT THE LEGHK. [General Info] (after Nid Berries) WELL, I SUPPOSE NONE OF THIS REALLY MATTERS MUCH. ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO HEAR THIS? ... O.K., WELL, A FEW MONTHS AGO SOME CREATURE, OR THING THE LEGHK CALL 'THE UHL' APPEARED OUT OF NOWHERE AND BEGAN EXERTING SOME KIND OF TELEPATHIC CONTROL OVER THE LEGHK. FOR SOME REASON THE UHL HASN'T BOTHERED US. OF COURSE, WHY SHOULD IT WANT TO DOMINATE US? WHAT GOOD ARE WE? WELL, WE'RE PRETTY USED TO BEING IGNORED ANYWAY. THE GREATER THE INTELLIGENCE OF THE INDIVIDUAL LEGHK, THE LONGER IT TAKES FOR THE UHL TO INSINUATE ITS CONTROL. THERE ARE ONLY ABOUT 50 LEGHK LEFT NOW WHO HAVEN'T BEEN TAKEN OVER. THOSE WHO ARE TAKEN OVER IMMEDIATELY CEASE ALL COMMUNICATIONS AND BECOME EXTREMELY HOSTILE. AT FIRST WE JUST THOUGHT THEY HAD GOTTEN UNDERSTANDABLY TIRED OF US. IN THE PAST MONTHS TREMENDOUS WARFARE HAS ENSUED AS THE UNDOMINATED LEGHK HAVE ATTEMPTED TO FIND AND DESTROY THE UHL, WHILE THE DOMINATED ONES TRY TO DEFEND IT. MANY BILLIONS OF LIVES HAVE BEEN LOST IN THE FIGHTING. OH, THIS IS GETTING ME RATHER DEPRESSED. THE LEGHK ARE NORMALLY A THOUGHTFUL AND PEACEFUL RACE. SOMETIMES THEY WERE EVEN NICE TO US. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT? THEY HOLD SACRED, ABOVE ALL ELSE, THEIR SCIENCE AND PHILOSOPHY, WHICH ARE ESSENTIALLY ONE AND THE SAME. OF COURSE YOU'RE PROBABLY NOT THE LEAST BIT INTERESTED IN DWEENLE SCIENCE AND PHILOSOPHY. WHY SHOULD YOU BE? THEIR MOST SACRED OF PLACES, AND THE HUB OF THEIR ENTIRE CIVILIZATION IS THE HALLS OF MEMORY, A VAST STRUCTURE THAT HOUSES THE TOTAL SUM OF ALL LEGHK LEARNING. CONTROL OF THIS PLACE MEANS GREAT DESTRUCTIVE POWER, AND THE REMAINING LEGHK ARE AFRAID THAT THE UHL WILL GET CONTROL OF IT. SINCE THE LEGHK WHO PROGRAMMED THE GUARDIAN KNEW THAT HE TOO WOULD SOON BE UNDER THE UHL'S CONTROL, HE CREATED A TRANSMITTER KEY. THEN HE HID THE TRANSMITTER AND KILLED HIMSELF. SINCE WE DWEENLE ARE THE ONLY OTHERS AROUND, HE LEFT THE LOCATION OF THE KEY TRANSMITTER WITH US. I GUESS HE DIDN'T TRUST US, NOT THAT I BLAME HIM, BECAUSE THE LEGHK WHO TOLD US THE LOCATION OF THE KEY TRANSMITTER TOLD IT TO US IN THE FORM OF A RIDDLE, THINKING THAT WE WOULDN'T BE SMART ENOUGH TO FIGURE IT OUT. I SUPPOSE HE WAS PROBABLY RIGHT ABOUT US NOT BEING ABLE TO FIGURE OUT THE RIDDLE, BUT AS FAR AS I KNOW NOBODY'S EVER CARED ENOUGH TO TRY. ANYWAY, HERE'S THE RIDDLE HE LEFT WITH US- ROUND A FALLEN STAR OF FOUR - IS A WORLD OF HUMMING STONES - HERE WHERE NOTHING MEETS NOTHING - THE TRANSMITTER AWAITS OUR RETURN. PRETTY STUPID RIDDLE, HUH? NOT THAT YOU PROBABLY CARE ONE WAY OR THE OTHER, BUT WE TOLD ALL THIS TO ANOTHER SHIP OF ALIENS, WHO BY THE WAY WERE MUCH NICER THAN YOU ARE. THEIR SHIP WAS CALLED THE ELTHAR-ESH. |
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G'NUNK (Hostile) |
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| [Name Syllables] GRR OW RR NN ARR G'AH R RHR GRRR NGH G' NAEN NRNG NGA RN G'CHR [Hails/Responses] WE ARE G'NUNK, FIERCE AND LOVING MESSENGERS OF G'NAEN SH'GAR. YOU HAVE PROVEN YOU CAN SURVIVE. THIS IS SIGNIFICANT. RESPOND NOW TO SURRENDER, OR TEST YOURSELVES AGAINST US FURTHER AS WE CEASE TOYING WITH YOU AND ENTER INTO SERIOUS COMBAT. I AM DOMINANT GROUP MASTER %. YOU HAVE SHOWN YOURSELVES TO BE G'NASCH, EQUAL IN STRENGTH TO G'NUNK. FOR THE MOMENT, WE HAVE CHOSEN TO COMMUNICATE. IDENTIFY YOURSELVES WHILE YOU STILL CAN. WE ARE G'NUNK AND COULD OF COURSE DESTROY YOU IF WE REALLY WANTED TO. DO NOT BELIEVE THAT YOUR LUCK WILL CONTINUE TO PROTECT YOU. RESPOND IMMEDIATELY. HAIL G'NUNK WARSHIP &. YOU HAVE RETURNED FROM COMBAT. PRAISE G'NAEN SH'GAR, DISPENSER OF TANGIBLE LOVE. EVINCE NO WEAKNESS, OR BE DESTROYED. HAIL G'NUNK WARRIOR *. WE HOPE THAT YOU HAVE REPRESENTED US WELL AND DESTROYED MANY SHIPS. BE COMPASSIONATE ALWAYS. SHOW NO WEAKNESS IN YOUR BEARING, EVEN NOW. THIS IS G'NUNK GROUP MASTER %. YOU ARE DEMONSTRATING A DANGEROUS LACK OF AGGRESSION. BE READY AT ALL TIMES. BE HOSTILE AT ALL TIMES. PERHAPS YOU REQUIRE A LESSON IN SURVIVAL. WE ARE G'NUNK. YOU HAVE SHOWN YOURSELVES TO BE G'NASCH, YET YOU BEHAVE AS G'NOON--THIS CONFUSES US. IF YOU DEMONSTRATE ANY FURTHER WEAKNESS, WE SHALL DEEM IT NECESSARY TO ATTACK. WE ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR HAIL, &. YOU HAVE DEMONSTRATED THE SURVIVABILITY OF YOUR SPECIES. NOW YOU MUST SURRENDER. I AM DOMINANT GROUP MASTER %, OF THE G'NUNK. HAIL RECEIVED AND ACKNOWLEDGED G'NUNK WARSHIP &. IN G'NUNK FASHION, I NOW DEMAND YOUR SURRENDER. YOU WILL OF COURSE BE DESTROYED IF YOU DO NOT COMPLY AT ONCE. YES, WELL, FORMALITIES ASIDE, GREETINGS, G'NUNK BROTHERS. YES, THIS IS THE G'NUNK WARSHIP + RESPONDING. I MUST WARN YOU, YOUR BEHAVIOR IS DANGEROUSLY INCONSISTENT. FIRST, YOU DEMONSTRATE YOUR STRENGTH IN COMBAT, THEN YOU DEMONSTRATE YOUR WEAKNESS IN YOUR NON-AGGRESSIVE BEARING. I AM AFRAID I CANNOT ALLOW WEAKNESS. NAVIGATOR, TARGET WEAPONS. ALL STATIONS, COMBAT READINESS. [Terminate Communications] ENOUGH TALKING. WHY TALK WHEN THERE IS FIGHTING TO BE DONE. PERHAPS NEXT TIME WE MEET WE CAN AGAIN TEST OURSELVES IN COMBAT. I HEAR THE CALL OF G'NAEN SH'GAR, AND GO. WE NOW DEPART TO SEEK OUT MORE G'NOON IN NEED OF OUR HELP. FAREWELL, FELLOW G'NUNK. I WISH YOU MANY KILLS. WE HAVE WASTED ENOUGH TIME. YOU ARE WEAK, YOU ARE G'NOON. I AM OVERCOME WITH LOVE. I NOW WILL HELP YOU. [Statements] NOW THAT YOU ARE G'NUNK, YOU MUST LEARN THE WAYS OF G'NUNK. DO NOT DEVIATE, OR YOU WILL FEEL THE SHARP FANGS OF G'NAEN SH'GAR, THE WISE ONE. G'NUNK ARE NEVER OBSEQUIOUS, AND ARE RARELY FRIENDLY. NEVER DEMONSTRATE WEAKNESS. G'NUNK SURVIVE--ALWAYS. ALSO, A FINAL WARNING. IT WILL TAKE YOU A LONG TIME TO CORRECTLY USE THE SHIELD NULLIFYING DEVICE. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO USE IT WITHOUT ONE OF US ON BOARD. AS YOU HAVE SURELY NOTICED, WE G'NUNK ARE NOT A SPECIES, BUT A COALITION OF BIO-FORMS FROM THE PLANET OF G'AERESCH, HOME OF G'NAEN SH'GAR, SHE/IT WHO EATS, DWELLER OF THE GREAT RING MOUNTAIN, COMPASSIONATE MOTHER/KILLER, BRINGER OF CHANGE. G'NAEN SH'GAR, IN HER/ITS LOVE, HAS GIVEN OUR HOME PLANET OF G'AERESCH AN ECCENTRIC ORBIT WHICH HAS LED, THANKFULLY, TO CYCLIC PERIODS OF INTENSE TEMPERATURE CHANGE AND INTENSE SOLAR RADIATION. IN ADDITION, SHE/IT HAS PROVIDED G'AERESCH WITH MANY EXTREMELY FIERCE AND INTELLIGENT LIFE FORMS. G'AERESCH IS PERHAPS THE MOST DANGEROUS PLANET IN THE SECTOR. WE ARE BLESSED. BECAUSE OF THE INTENSE ENVIRONMENTAL AND COMPETITIVE PRESSURES, COUPLED WITH THE HIGH MUTATION RATES FROM THE SOLAR RADIATION, EVOLUTION OCCURS ON G'AERESCH AT A PHENOMENAL RATE. PRAISE G'NAEN SH'GAR, BRINGER OF CHANGE. ALMOST OVERNIGHT, SPECIES APPEAR AND THEN, BY HER COMPASSIONATE CLAW, FIND PEACE IN EXTINCTION. G'NAEN SH'GAR HAS TAUGHT US HER/ITS LESSONS WELL. CHANGE IS ALL-IMPORTANT. EVOLUTION IS PARAMOUNT. SURVIVAL IS PRIMARY. THE WEAK MUST DIE. DEATH IS LIFE. IN THE BEGINNING, NO SPECIES WAS STRONG ENOUGH AND VERSATILE ENOUGH TO MAINTAIN DOMINANCE FOR LONG ON G'AERESCH. THEN, FROM HER/ITS HOME ATOP THE GREAT RING MOUNTAIN, SHE/IT CAUSED THE WORLD TO SHAKE AND GROWL. THROUGH HER/ITS FIERCE LOVING GROWL, SHE/IT TOLD US OF G'ZAERS'CHA, THE FINAL STATE OF EVOLUTION, AND HOW IT MIGHT BE REACHED ONLY THROUGH COOPERATION. THUS WAS BORN G'NUNK. G'NAEN SH'GAR GENTLY HOLDS THE NECK OF EVERY G'NUNK IN HER SHARP TEETH. IN HER DEEP GROWL SHE WARNS US TO ALWAYS SPREAD HER/ITS LOVE, AND COMPASSIONATELY PROVIDE WEAKER LIFE FORMS, G'NOON, WITH THE NECESSARY ENVIRONMENTAL PRESSURE SO THAT THEY TOO MIGHT EVOLVE, AND SOME DAY ATTAIN G'ZAERS'CHA, THE STATE OF ETERNAL CHANGE. G'NAEN SH'GAR IMPELS US ALSO TO ATTACK G'NASCH, LIFE FORMS EQUAL OR GREATER IN STRENGTH TO OURSELVES, IN ORDER TO TEST US. OF COURSE, THERE IS NO NEED FOR US TO BE FANATICAL ABOUT THIS. WE G'NUNK ABHOR STASIS. WE ABHOR WEAKNESS. AND WE ABHOR RACES WHO HAVE THE STRENGTH AND CAPACITY TO ATTACK WEAKER CREATURES WITH LOVE, BUT CHOOSE NOT TO. SUCH A RACE WERE THE LOWAR. THEY TRULY WERE EVIL. THEY HAVE AT LAST MET THE INEVITABLE FATE OF THE WEAK-MINDED. G'NAEN SH'GAR TEACHES US THAT ALL CREATURES ARE G'NOON UNTIL THEY HAVE PROVEN OTHERWISE--JUST AS YOU HAVE PROVEN YOURSELVES. I NOW GIVE WARNING. YOUR NON-HOSTILE BEARING DEMONSTRATES THAT YOU ARE, IN FACT, G'NOON AFTERALL. PERHAPS YOU NEED OUR HELP MORE THAN I THOUGHT. I STAND IN READINESS FOR COMBAT. I RECOMMEND THAT YOU DEMONSTRATE NO MORE WEAKNESSES. NON-HOSTILE POSTURES ARE NOT BEFICIAL TO ANY G'NUNK OR G'NASCH SPECIES. HEED MY ADVICE OR BE ANNIHILATED. TO A G'NUNK, STRENGTH IS PARAMOUNT. WE ARE HOSTILE AT ALL TIMES, EVEN TO EACH OTHER. OF COURSE, WITH EACH OTHER IT IS PRIMARILY A POLITE FORMALITY, BUT BREECH OF THIS ETIQUETTE IS MOST SERIOUS, AND CAN RESULT IN A QUICK DEMISE. THE WAY OF THE G'NUNK IS THE WAY OF AGGRESSION. TO BE G'NUNK, YOU MUST BE AGGRESSIVE AT ALL TIMES. FEW ARE CAPABLE OF SUCH COMPASSION. THIS IS WHY MOST SPECIES ARE NOT CAPABLE OF BECOMING G'NUNK. IN FACT, NO SPECIES NOT FROM G'AERESCH HAS YET BEEN SUCCESSFUL. PREPARE FOR DEATH! I AM THE MOST FORMIDABLE OF WARRIORS, AND MY SHIP IS AMONG THE MOST DEADLY IN ALL THE 8 SECTORS. I ASSERT MY DOMINANCE. SURRENDER AT ONCE! OF COURSE, THOSE WHO BECOME G'NUNK ARE GIVEN THE USE OF OUR FORMIDABLE SHIELD NULLIFYING DEVICE--THIS IS SO THAT THEY CAN MORE EFFECTIVELY SPREAD THE LOVE OF G'NAEN SH'GAR. WE HAVE FOUND THAT MOST OTHER SPECIES SEEM TO HAVE A VERY PECULIAR CONCEPT OF LOVE. A LOVING PARENT DOES NOT SHELTER ITS CHILDREN IN THE BURROW, ONLY TO WATCH ALL OF THEM LATER BE EATEN. IT PUSHES THEM INTO DANGER AND ALLOWS THE STRONG TO LEARN TO SURVIVE. G'NAEN SH'GAR IS LOVING PARENT TO ALL, AND WE ARE THE DANGER. THIS IS LOVE. SINCE YOU TOO ARE G'NUNK, I NEEDN'T TELL YOU THE IMPORTANCE OF SUPPLYING THE OTHER CHILDREN OF G'NAEN SH'GAR WITH ENDURIUM TO POWER OUR VESSELS. THIS IS NOW YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. DO NOT FORGET. TREAT YOUR G'NUNK CREWMEMBER WELL. IF YOU SHOULD LOSE HER, YOU WILL NO LONGER BE CONSIDERED G'NUNK. AS YOU HAVE NO DOUBT SURMISED, WE INVITE OTHERS TO BECOME G' NUNK ONLY AFTER THEY HAVE DESTROYED MANY OF OUR WARSHIPS. YOU HAVE EARNED OUR RESPECT--YOU ARE A KILLER, AS ARE WE. THERE IS NO HIGHER PRAISE. AH, BUT PLEASE EXCUSE MY MANNERS, I SOUNDED ALMOST FRIENDLY. THIS WAS NOT MY INTENTION. CAN IT BE THAT, AFTER ALL YOU HAVE DONE, YOU ARE REALLY FRIENDLY OR EVEN, I SHUDDER TO THINK, OBSEQUIOUS? FOR YOUR SAKE, I HOPE THIS IS NOT THE CASE. AH, PERHAPS THIS IS A CLEVER RUSE. YOU ARE ATTEMPTING TO GOAD ME INTO ATTACKING YOU WITH A SHOW OF LOATHSOME WEAKNESS. THUS, YOU CAN TEST YOURSELF FURTHER IN MORTAL COMBAT. YOU ARE CUNNING INDEED. YOUR BEARING IS DECIDEDLY NON-AGGRESSIVE. THIS IS THE SIGN OF A DEGENERATE INTELLIGENCE. THERE IS NOTHING MORE EVIL THAN A STRONG, NON-AGGRESSIVE RACE. I WILL HAVE TO DESTROY YOU. IF I DID NOT, I COULD NEVER AGAIN LOOK UPON THE FEARSOME FACE OF G'NAEN SH'GAR. YOUR NEW CREWMEMBER IS CARRYING ONE OF OUR SHIELD NULLIFYING DEVICES (F8). IT WILL REQUIRE 15 CM. OF COBALT FOR USE AND SHOULD BE USED ONLY IF ONE OF US IS ABOARD YOUR SHIP. [Questions] COMMANDER *, IS IT YOUR INTENTION TO DEMAND MY SURRENDER, AND SUBSEQUENTLY ATTACK AND DESTROY MY SHIP, KILLING MYSELF AND ALL MY CREW? DO YOU MAKE A PRACTICE OF ATTACKING WEAKER LIFE FORMS? HAVE YOU BEEN TO OUR HOME PLANET OF G'AERESCH? DO YOU ACCEPT G'NAEN SH'GAR, MISTRESS OF DEATH, HUNTER OF THE WEAK, MOTHER/KILLER, BRINGER OF CHANGE, AS YOUR MASTER? SOME RACES IN THE PAST HAVE AGREED TO BECOME G'NUNK IN AN ATTEMPT TO ACQUIRE OUR SHIELD NULLIFYING DEVICE. THEY THEN IGNORED THE COMMANDS OF G'NAEN SH'GAR, AND WERE FRIENDLY TO MANY OTHER RACES. YOU WOULD NOT DO THIS, WOULD YOU? ARE YOU IN FACT G'NOON, MASQUERADING AS G'NASCH? STILL YOU DEMONSTRATE THE WEAKNESS OF THE G'NOON. THIS CONFUSES US. DO YOU WISH US TO COMPASSIONATELY AID YOU AS WE AID ALL G'NOON? IN THE NAME OF G'NAEN SH'GAR, FIERCE AND LOVING HUNTER/MOTHER OF ALL G'NUNK, I NOW ADDRESS YOU AS G'NASCH, EQUAL IN STRENGTH TO G'NUNK. YOU HAVE PROVEN THAT YOU CAN SURVIVE AND YOU HAVE DEMONSTRATED AN ADMIRABLE AGGRESSIVENESS. AS IS OUR CUSTOM, I NOW EXTEND TO YOU THE OFFER OF COMPASSIONATE UPLIFT. FEW HAVE PROVEN WORTHY OF THIS HONOR. IF YOU ACCEPT, WE SHALL ENGAGE IN THE ANCIENT CEREMONY OF ACCEPTANCE AND OBLIGATION. WE SHALL EXCHANGE A CREWMEMBER, AND YOU SHALL BECOME G'NUNK, SERVANT OF G'NAEN SH'GAR, AND PURVEYOR OF HER FEARFUL LOVE. THINK WELL BEFORE ACCEPTING. BEING G'NUNK IS NO LIGHT RESPONSIBILTY. WHAT IS YOUR ANSWER? [Don't Know] IF YOU WISH TO KNOW MORE OF THIS, YOU WILL NEED TO ASK ANOTHER G'NUNK. I KNOW NO MORE. [General Info] |
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SPEMIN (Obsequious or Hostile) |
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| [Name Syllables] BLUNK DURT GOO BEMF ZUG BLEH GHU DENG LUP ZID CHOO BLURT DORT IK BLUK SKREE [Hails/Responses] AH, CAN IT BE? THE INTERSTEL SHIP, THE &.? PERHAPS YOU DO NOT RECOGNIZE US. WE ARE OF COURSE YOUR OLD FRIENDS, THE SPEMIN. I AM TOUCHED THAT YOU HAVE RETURNED TO APOLOGIZE AND DEBASE YOURSELF. WE ARE A FORGIVING PEOPLE. WE HEREBY ACCEPT YOUR IMMEDIATE SURRENDER. WE ARE YOUR SPEMIN MASTERS. DROP YOUR SHIELDS AND DISARM YOUR WEAPONS TO DEMONSTRATE YOUR GOOD INTENTIONS. IN FACT, SURRENDER YOUR SHIP AND PROSTRATE YOURSELVES BEFORE US TO DEMONSTRATE YOUR GOOD INTENTIONS. SURRENDER, PITIFUL CREATURES, LEST I STRIKE FEAR INTO YOUR HEARTS BY TELLING YOU THAT YOU FACE THE SPEMIN GODS! I SHALL GIVE YOU TO THE COUNT OF 5 AND THEN....MAKE THAT 3. YES, I SHALL GIVE YOU TO THE COUNT OF 3. NOT THAT I COULDN'T COUNT TO 5, BECAUSE I COULD. I JUST PREFER 3. ANYWAY, SURRENDER NOW! ONCE AGAIN WE MEET, HEINOUS SKELETOIDS. I AM % OF THE FAMOUS SECRET DEATH FLEET OF THE SPEMIN LORDS. ALLOW ME TO DEMONSTRATE OUR VASTLY SUPERIOR WEAPONRY. PLEASE DO NOT INCONVENIENCE ME BY MOVING AROUND. WE ARE THE TRULY AWESOME SPEMIN! HOW FORTUNATE THAT WE SHOULD ONCE AGAIN RUN INTO EACH OTHER, CAPTAIN *. WE WERE STARTING TO RUN A LITTLE LOW ON OUR SHYNEUM SUPPLY. SUPPLICATIONS OF GREAT SINCERITY WOULD BE APPROPRIATE AT THIS TIME. GREETINGS, LONG TIME FRIENDS OF THE SPEMIN! SHALL WE ONCE AGAIN ENGAGE IN THAT MEANINGLESS BANTER THAT FRIENDS OFTEN ENGAGE IN, AND OF COURSE SHOULD NEVER BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY? OR PERHAPS MORE OF THE SYMBOLIC FIRING OF WEAPONS WHICH WE SPEMIN USE TO SALUTE THOSE WHOM WE ADMIRE? GREETINGS, BROTHER G'NUNK. YOU HAVE RESPONDED WELL TO THE TEST. YOU HAVE PROVEN THAT YOU ARE STRONG. NOW YOU MUST IMMEDIATELY GO AND ATTACK OTHERS. MAKE HASTE AND LEAVE AT ONCE! WE SHALL MEET AGAIN! YES, COMMANDER *, WE RECOGNIZED YOUR AMUSING LITTLE SHIP. GROVEL BEFORE US IF YOU MUST, BUT DO NOT TAKE UP TOO MUCH OF OUR TIME. [Terminate Communications] AND NOW I AM TIRED AFTER ALL I HAVE BEEN THROUGH. OF COURSE, THIS IS UNIMPORTANT. MY ONLY WISH IS TO PLEASE YOUR GREATNESS, BUT NOW I FEAR I MUST DEPART. FAREWELL, GOOD FRIEND. ENOUGH TALKING. I AM BORED. DO NOT FEAR. YOU SHALL SOON HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO GROVEL AGAIN BEFORE YOUR SPEMIN MASTERS. OH. HOW COULD I HAVE FORGOTTEN. I AM LATE FOR AN APPOINTMENT. WELL, I SHALL JUST DESTROY YOU AND BE ON MY WAY. PERHAPS IT IS TIME FOR A LITTLE LESSON IN MANNERS. STAY RIGHT THERE AND LISTEN VERY CAREFULLY. ENOUGH! PREPARE TO DIE, HEINOUS SKELETOID DOGS! [Statements] PERHAPS YOU DO NOT COMPREHEND. WE ARE THE SPEMIN! AH, BUT PERHAPS YOU ARE IMMOBILIZED BY FEAR. NEVERTHELESS, YOU MUST SUBMIT IN A CUSTOMARY FASHION AT ONCE OR BE THOROUGHLY AND COMPLETELY ANNIHILATED. DO NOT FEAR. WE TREAT ALL OF OUR SLAVES REASONABLY WELL. IN FACT, ALL THAT WE WOULD REQUIRE AT THIS TIME IS AN ALMOST NEGLIGIBLE TRIBUTE OF SHYNEUM. IT IS THIS OR TOTAL OBLITERATION. MAKE YOUR CHOICE. WE SHALL WAIT. ANY MOMENT NOW, YOU WILL BEGIN TO BEG FOR MERCY. SUCH A PITIFUL SIGHT. A SPEMIN WOULD NEVER BEG FOR MERCY. HE WOULD RATHER FIGHT TO A GLORIOUS DEATH. GO AHEAD, SLIMELESS MONSTERS, BEG YOUR SPEMIN MASTERS. CONSIDER THAT WE COULD EASILY HAVE DESTROYED YOU ALREADY. WHY HAVE WE NOT? CLEARLY IT IS BECAUSE WE ARE BENEVOLENT AND WISE. SURRENDER NOW AND WE SHALL NOT BE FORCED INTO DESTROYING YOU. YOU ARE WISE NOT TO ANTAGONIZE THE SPEMIN GODS. OUR TEMPER IS QUICK AND OUR WRATH SEVERE. IF YOU WISH TO PRAISE US, YOU MAY DO SO. DOES THE TINY TEELVEEAN PUSS WORM ANTAGONIZE THE MIGHTY DESERT BEHEMOTH OF DELTAROUS 4? OF COURSE NOT. AND WHY? BECAUSE THEY ARE IN DIFFERENT STAR SYSTEMS. NEVERTHELESS, IT IS NOT WISE FOR YOU TO ANTAGONIZE US. URRENDER NOW TO YOUR SPEMIN MASTERS. THIS IS YOUR FINAL CHANCE. EVEN NOW I AM ON THE VERGE OF ATTACKING WITH UNSTOPPABLE FORCE. MY PSEUDOPOD HOVERS, POISED OVER THE LEVER THAT WILL UNLEASH UNIMAGINABLE ENERGIES OF INCREDIBLE DESTRUCTIVE POWER UPON YOUR DEFENSELESS VESSEL. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT? WE APOLOGIZE IF YOU DID NOT FIND OUR JOKES ABOUT DESTROYING YOU HUMOROUS. I MUST CHASTISE THAT COMMUNICATIONS OFFICER OF MINE. IN THE PAST, YOUR KIND HAS TERRORIZED US INNOCENT SPEMIN, WHO HAVE WANTED NOTHING MORE THAN TO LIVE PEACEFULLY, SHARING OUR WEALTH AND OUR HAPPINESS WITH OTHERS. NOW, YOU COME GROVELING BACK TO US, PITIFUL AND WEAK. IT IS FORTUNATE FOR YOU THAT WE ARE SUCH A KIND AND NOBLE RACE. IS IT NO WONDER THAT YOU WORSHIP US? YOUR DRY, UPRIGHT FORMS, LACKING PSEUDOPODS OF ANY TYPE, ARE CLEARLY REPULSIVE. YOUR LACK OF SUCKING AND SQUISHING SOUNDS IS PATHETIC, AND YOUR BODIES BARELY OOZE AT ALL. PERHAPS IF YOU JUST TRIED HARDER. NOTICE HOW I TOY MERCILESSLY WITH YOU. THIS IS THE WAY OF THE SPEMIN. AT ANY MINUTE, I COULD CHOOSE TO DESTROY YOU. SUCH IS THE NATURE OF TRUE POWER. NOTICE ALSO, HOW I REMAIN UNCORRUPTED BY THE POWER, ALOOF AND YET LIKEABLE. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO TRICK ME INTO GIVING AWAY ANY INFORMATION. YOU COULD NOT HOPE TO ENGAGE A SPEMIN IN A BATTLE OF WITS. WE ARE MASTERS OF CUNNING DECEPTION, VIRTUOSOS OF ARTFUL MANIPULATIONS , EXPERTS OF CRAFTY SUBTERFUGE. HA HA! I AM INVINCIBLE! I AM IMMORTAL!!! YOU ARE IMPRESSED BY OUR NEW TECHNOLOGY!! LITTLE DID YOU KNOW THAT WE HAD IT ALL ALONG, AND AT ANY MOMENT COULD HAVE DESTROYED YOU. YOU ARE LUCKY THAT WE HAVE BEEN SO PATIENT UNTIL NOW. ACTUALLY, I AM THE ONE WHO INVENTED THE NEW TECHNOLOGY. YES, I, COMMANDER %, INVENTED IT ALL. THERE, THE SECRET IS OUT. IT WAS MY GENIUS. IT WASN'T SO DIFFICULT, REALLY. I JUST THREW SOME THINGS TOGETHER AND THERE IT WAS. PERHAPS IF YOU WERE TO BEG AND GROVEL, I MIGHT BE INCLINED TO TELL YOU THE REAL, TRUE SOURCE OF OUR INVINCIBLE TECHNOLOGY. IN ANY EVENT, BEGGING WOULD SUIT YOU BETTER. YOUR INSANE DESIRE TO PROVOKE US BY NOT ADOPTING AN APPROPRIATELY SUBSERVIENT ATTITUDE IS CLEARLY PROOF OF YOUR SUBSENTIENCE. IF YOU ARE UNINTELLIGENT ANIMALS, THOUGH, THE QUESTION OF WHAT YOU ARE DOING FLYING AROUND IN SPACESHIPS AND USING SOPHISTICATED ELECTRONICS REMAINS A PUZZLING ONE. DID I ALREADY MENTION THAT WE ARE THE ALMIGHTY AND ALL POWERFUL SPEMIN? I TIRE OF THIS! NOW I SHALL DEMONSTRATE THE FRIGHTENING MIGHT OF THE SPEMIN WAR FLEET. NOTICE HOW I HOLD MY ANTENNAE IN A THREATENING MANNER AND GAZE INTENTLY. NOW I UTTER THE WAR CRY OF 'DURTBLORT GURGLE GURGLE,' AND ATTACK SWIFTLY ... YOU HAVE HEARD OF THE GAZURTOID? THEY ARE WHINING COWARDS. THE G'NUNK? SPINELESS TOADS. THE UHLEK? WHIMPERING WEAKLINGS. THE UMANU? COWERING MASSES OF INEFFECTUAL JELLY. IT IS WE WHO ARE THE SUPREME MASTERS OF THE COSMOS. WE GO WHERE WE PLEASE AND TAKE WHAT WE WANT. I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING. DID THEY FIRE 6 PLASMA BOLTS, OR ONLY 5? TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH, IN ALL THIS EXCITEMENT I'VE KIND OF LOST TRACK MYSELF. BUT SEEING AS THIS IS A SPEMIN WARSHIP, THE MOST POWERFUL SHIP IN THE COSMOS, YOU'VE GOT TO ASK YOURSELF ONE QUESTION -- DO YOU FEEL LUCKY? IS THIS HOW YOU BEG FOR INFORMATION? YOU DO NOT EVEN BEG WELL. [Statements] (Hostile) HA. HA. THE FUNNY JOKE IS OVER. EVEN NOW THE PLANS FOR THE NEW TECHNOLOGY SHOULD BE ARRIVING IN THE HOMES OF YOUR MOST FAMOUS SCIENTISTS. I GUESS YOU REALLY THOUGHT WE WOULD KEEP IT FOR OURSELVES, DIDN'T YOU? SHAME ON YOU. PLEASE UNDERSTAND. IT WAS ALL PEER PRESSURE. I NEVER WANTED TO SHOOT YOU. THE OTHER SPEMIN SAID I HAD TO. THOSE BAD SPEMIN. I WILL NEVER TALK TO THEM AGAIN. OH, YOUR SPECIES IS SO KIND AND JUST. JUST THIS MORNING, I WAS TELLING SOME OTHER SPEMIN HOW YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN SHOOTING AT ANOTHER SHIP AFTER IT HAS SURRENDERED. I THINK THAT IS WONDERFUL. YOU ARE TRULY A GREAT SPECIES. PERHAPS THERE IS SOME OTHER INFORMATION WE COULD GIVE YOU. WOULD YOU LIKE ANY SECRET INFORMATION? WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO TELL YOU THE LOCATION OF OUR SECRET PLANET, BEMBLUNK? WOULD YOU LIKE SOME OF THE OTHER MEMBERS OF MY CREW TO TORTURE? ANYTHING. WAIT. IN A FLASH OF INSIGHT, I NOW SEE THAT THE PAST MEANS NOTHING. IT IS THE FUTURE THAT IS IMPORTANT. WHO CARES WHO SHOT AT WHOM IN THE PAST. THIS IS NOT IMPORTANT. WHAT IS IMPORTANT IS THE FUTURE, AND THAT I WILL CONTINUE TO BE IN IT. YOU DARE TO ASK US QUESTIONS? YOUR IMPUDENCE IS EQUALLED ONLY BY YOUR STUPIDITY. OF COURSE, IF YOU WERE TO DEMONSTRATE A RESPECTFUL ATTITUDE, WE MIGHT CONSIDER GRACING YOU WITH SOME OF OUR BOUNDLESS WISDOM. [Demand Tribute] TO HELP YOU OVERCOME YOUR GUILT FOR WRONGFULLY MISTREATING OUR GREAT SPEMIN ANCESTORS, WE DEMAND A PAYMENT OF 1/X OF YOUR SHYNEUM. DO YOU AGREE? SHYNEUM EXCHANGED [Don't Know] PLEASE, YOUR GREAT WONDERFULNESS, I'M AFRAID MY KNOWLEDGE IS LIMITED ONLY TO MATTERS CONCERNING OUR PITIFUL SPEMIN SPECIES. WHY DO YOU ASK US ABOUT THIS, WHEN IT IS CLEAR THAT WHAT YOU WANT TO KNOW ABOUT IS OUR GREAT SPEMIN RACE? DO NOT BE ASHAMED TO ASK. ANYWAY, HOW COULD I HOPE TO TELL YOUR MAGNIFICENCE ANYTHING YOU DON'T ALREADY KNOW? RATHER TAKE PITY ON ME, ONE WHO NEVER MEANT ANYONE ANY HARM. [Themselves] (Obsequious) YOU WONDER, PERHAPS, WHERE WE GET ALL OF OUR SHYNEUM FROM. WELL, THE OTHER RACES SEEK TO CURRY OUR FAVOR, JUST AS YOU DO. OFTEN OUR SHIPS, WHICH TRAVEL THE SPACE LANES MINDING THEIR OWN BUSINESS, ARE APPROACHED BY ALIEN SHIPS, JUST LIKE YOURS, WHICH WISH TO PRESENT US WITH TRIBUTE AND ADULATION. IT CAN BE SOMEWHAT TIRESOME. AS TO THE ULTIMATE SOURCE OF THE SHYNEUM, I AM NOT AT LIBERTY TO SAY. LET'S JUST SAY THAT A CERTAIN SPEMIN CAPTAIN HAPPENS TO OWN LARGE AMOUNTS OF PROPERTY ON A CERTAIN PLANET WHERE A CERTAIN MINERAL IS MINED. I THINK WE BOTH KNOW WHAT I MEAN. AHA! I SEE THAT YOU ARE TRYING TO TRICK ME INTO TELLING YOU THE SECRET LOCATION OF THE MOST VALUABLE THING, WHICH WE STOLE FROM THE INCREDIBLY STUPID TANDELOU. ONCE MORE, YOU UNDERESTIMATE THE MIND OF A SPEMIN. THE PLANETARY COORDINATES 31S X 39W , OF THE PLANET BEMFBLUNK, ARE LOCKED FOREVER IN THE STEEL VAULT OF MY MIND. YOU WILL NEVER DISCOVER THEM. PERHAPS YOU WOULD LIKE ME TO EXPLAIN TO YOU THE TRUTH BEHIND WHERE OUR NEW TECHNOLOGY CAME FROM. I WOULD BE HAPPY TO DO SO. AS IT SO HAPPENS, A VAST METAMORPHOSIS WAS TRIGGERED IN OUR SPECIES WHEN WE ENTERED THIS REGION OF SPACE, AND OUR INTELLIGENCE JUMPED FROM GENIUS TO SUPER GENIUS. THUS, WE INVENTED THE TECHNOLOGY. WAIT! I REMEMBER NOW WHAT THE REAL SOURCE OF THE NEW TECHNOLOGY IS. THERE WAS A PITCHED BATTLE WITH A FIERCE ALIEN RACE. YES, THAT'S IT. IT LASTED 47 DAYS AND NIGHTS, AND FINALLY WE VANQUISHED THE FOE AND TOOK THE TECHNOLOGY. YES. IN FACT, THE HULK OF THE VANQUISHED SHIP IN THE SYSTEM 198, 154 IS PROOF OF THIS GREAT BATTLE. I MIGHT MENTION THAT, AS A SLAVE RACE OF OURS, ALL OF YOUR BELONGINGS NATURALLY NOW BELONG TO US. THIS, OF COURSE, INCLUDES ANY ARTIFACTS THAT YOU MAY HAPPEN TO POSSESS. I HOPE THIS DOES NOT COME AS A SURPRISE TO YOU. [Themselves] (Hostile) ALRIGHT, I CONFESS. IT WAS WE SPEMIN WHO TOOK THE MOST VALUABLE THING FROM THE TANDELOU. I HANG MY ANTENNAE IN SHAME. O.K., YOU'VE FORCED THE INFORMATION OUT OF ME. THE MOST VALUABLE THING WAS TAKEN TO OUR PLANET BEMFBLUNK IN THE SYSTEM 158, 183. I HAVE HEARD, THOUGH, THAT OUR WISE SPEMIN LEADERS SOLD IT TO THE G'NUNK WHEN THEY DISCOVERED IT WAS ONLY A WORTHLESS HUNK OF GREEN GLASS. OF COURSE, I SUSPECTED AS MUCH ALL ALONG. PLEASE, I BEG YOU, I GROVEL, I PLEAD. DO NOT ASK ME TO BETRAY MY BLOB BROTHERS AND REVEAL THE TRUE SOURCE OF OUR TECHNOLOGY. I HAVE SWORN A SOLEMN OATH THAT I WOULD SOONER DIE A HORRIBLE AND PAINFUL DEATH. A SPEMIN NEVER BREAKS A BLOB OATH. WE ARE PHYSICALLY UNABLE TO, IN FACT. WELL, O.K., I GUESS I CAN TELL YOU, SINCE YOU ARE A FRIEND. WE PICKED UP OUR TECHNOLOGY FROM A DATA CUBE WHICH WE FOUND ON A DERELICT SHIP ORBITING A PLANET IN THE SYSTEM 198, 154. AS I SAID, I ONLY TELL YOU THIS BECAUSE YOU ARE A GOOD FRIEND, BUT PERHAPS YOU WOULD WISH TO GIVE A GOOD FRIEND A SMALL GRATUITY FOR BEING SO HELPFUL. MORE INFORMATION? YES, WELL, UM, PERHAPS YOU WONDER ABOUT SHYNEUM. ALL WE KNOW IS THAT IT ORIGINATES ON A PLANET SOMEWHERE IN THE CLOUD. OF COURSE, WE HAVE BEEN PREPARING TO DO AN EXHAUSTIVE SEARCH AS SOON AS WE WIPE OUT THE UMANU. I PROMISE THAT, AFTER WE FIND THE PLANET, I WILL BRING YOU SOME SHYNEUM. |
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ARLA (Friendly) |
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| [Name Syllables] FLASH STROBE GLOW SHINE FADE FADE PULSE SHINE PULSE FLARE BEAM STROBE BLINK FLASH BLINK GLOW [Hails/Responses] YOURSELVES IDENTIFY. (CURIOSITY) (NON-OFFENSIVE MANNER). UNFAMILIAR TO US YOUR VESSEL IS, AND ASCERTAIN YOUR INTENTIONS WE MUST. (WARINESS). ARLA OF THE NG KHER ARLA WE ARE. IF PEACEFUL YOU ARE, THEN PEACEFUL ALSO WE ARE. NOTIFIED YOU ARE THAT IN NG KHER ARLA SPACE YOU ARE. ARLA WE CURRENTLY ARE. NO HOSTILITIES DISPLAY. (WARNING). A PEACEFUL RACE, BUT CAPABLE OF AGGRESSION WE ARE. RESPOND IF SO INCLINED YOU ARE. (NEUTRAL DISPOSITION). % ARLA I PRESENTLY AM. WARNING I GIVE. (THREATENING INTENT). NO FURTHER HOSTILE ACTION TAKE. (IMPERATIVE). YOUR FRIENDLY/HOSTILE INTENTIONS IMMEDIATELY EXPLICIT MAKE. (EXTREME AGITATION). AT RISK YOU ARE. ARLA NOW I AM. COMMUNICATE I NOW DO THAT PROVOKED AND OFFENDED US YOU HAVE, AND IN GRAVE DANGER YOU ARE. (ANGER). IF NOT YOUR INTENT THIS WAS, IMMEDIATELY REPLY IN SUPPLICATION. (WARNING). &, WELCOME YOUR RETURN WE DO. (SINCERITY). FOR COMMUNICATION PURPOSES, IDENTIFY MYSELF AS % ARLA OF THE NG KHER ARLA I DO. EAGER TO AID YOU WITH INFORMATION WE ARE. (EXCITEMENT). SUCH DISCUSSIONS ENJOY GREATLY WE DO. COMMANDER CREATURE *, RECOGNIZE YOUR VESSEL WE DO. (ANTICIPATION). ANOTHER EXCHANGE OF INFORMATION ALLOW US TO ENGAGE IN. MOST SATISFYING THIS IS. YES, COMMANDER CREATURE *, RECEIVED AND UNDERSTOOD YOUR TRANSMISSION WE HAVE. HAVE NAMES IN THE SAME SENSE AS YOU WE DO NOT, BUT REFER TO ME AS % YOU MAY. EXTEND THE GREETINGS OF MY GENDER OF MY SPECIES I DO. (HOPEFULNESS). *, EXHIBITED BEHAVIORS YOU HAVE, WHICH REGARDS AS HOSTILE OUR SPECIES DOES. ARLA OF NG KHER ARLA WE ARE. ALTERING MY THINKING PATTERNS TO TACTICAL COMBAT I NOW AM. (AGITATION). (EXCITEMENT). WELCOME, * OF THE &. ELICITS FROM US A POSITIVE EMOTIONAL RESPONSE YOUR PRESENCE DOES. PERHAPS ONCE AGAIN QUESTIONS TO ASK OF US YOU HAVE. [Terminate Communications] DEPART WE MUST, REGRET TO SAY WE DO. NOW TERMINATE COMMUNICATION WE WILL. A HOSTILE GESTURE MISTAKE THIS AS DO NOT. PERHAPS MEET AGAIN WE SHALL. PROVOKE US YOU HAVE TO AN ANGERED STATE. UNDERSTAND YOUR MOTIVATIONS WE DO NOT. (CONFUSION). SO MANY IRRATIONAL SENTIENTS THERE ARE. (SADNESS). UNFORTUNATE THIS IS, WHEN FRIENDS WE COULD HAVE BEEN. GO NOW WE MUST, *. OUR REGRETS. (DISAPPOINTMENT). MEET AGAIN FOR FURTHER DISCUSSIONS I AM SURE WE WILL. A FRIEND TO THE ARLA YOU ARE. (HAPPINESS). NOT MANY THERE ARE. EXPLORE WELL AND MUCH LEARN. [Statements] HEARD OF THE EXISTENCE OF CERTAIN SENTIENTS WE HAVE, WHO CONSIDER DEATH OBJECTIONABLE THEY DO NOT. ONE OF THESE PERHAPS YOU ARE. EXPLAIN YOUR BEHAVIOR THIS WOULD. (HOSTILITY). SIMPLY LACK PERHAPS YOU DO THE MEANS OF AGITATION IN MY SPECIES PERCEIVING. IF THE CASE THIS IS, THEN MORE EXPLICIT I SHALL BE. ALL WEAPONS NOW TARGETED ON YOUR VESSEL ARE, AND RESTING ON THE FIRE BUTTON BY FINGER IS. I HOPE EXPLICIT ENOUGH THIS IS. (AGGRESSION). GENERALLY NOT AS HOSTILE AS OUR NG AND KHER SELVES ARE, WE ARLA ARE. HOWEVER, QUITE WILLING TO MAKE AN EXCEPTION WITH YOU WE WOULD BE. (OPEN HOSTILITY). ANGERED US ENOUGH YOU HAVE. DESTROY YOU NOW WE WILL. WISE OR PERHAPS SIMPLY FORTUNATE IT WAS THAT ENCOUNTERED US DURING OUR ARLA PHASE YOU DID. US AS NG PLEASE AVOID. MOST SORRY WE WOULD BE IF LEARNED LATER WE DID THAT DESTROYED YOU WE HAD. PERHAPS STRANGE TO YOUR KIND OUR 3-PHASE GENDER SEEMS. MOST PLEASED TO TELL YOU MORE ABOUT IT WE WOULD BE. AH, WHO KNOWS. PERHAPS WHEN IN OUR KHER STAGE THE RATIONAL ONES WE ARE, AND NOW IN THE ARLA STAGE INSANE WE ARE. POSSIBLE IT IS, BUT WAGER MANY JALMAS ON THIS I WOULD NOT. REGRET WE DO THAT VISIT YOUR REGION OF SPACE WE CANNOT. EMBARRASS OURSELVES WE WOULD WHEN CHANGE WE DID INTO NG AND EVERYONE ATTACK. (REGRET. SADNESS). PLEASED US YOU HAVE WITH YOUR ATTITUDE AND AS WELL YOUR RATIONALITY. (ACCEPTANCE). CERTAINLY THE LOWAR WOULD ALSO YOU HAVE LIKED. PLEASE GREAT CAUTION TAKE AND OUR ADVICE HEED ON HOW TO SAFE REMAIN IF GO THROUGH THE WORMHOLE YOU SHOULD ATTEMPT. (CONCERN). MOST SORRY WE WOULD BE SHOULD YOUR VESSEL DESTROYED BE AND YOU AS WELL WITHIN. [Don't Know] KNOW MORE ABOUT THIS I DO NOT. ANOTHER ARLA PERHAPS ASK. [Themselves] ALREADY ENCOUNTERED THE KHER OR THE NG PERHAPS YOU HAVE. (MILD ANXIETY). THE OTHER 2 FORMS OF OUR KIND THEY ARE. MISTAKE THEM FOR US PLEASE DO NOT. (EMPHATIC CONCERN). OUR LIFE CYCLE QUITE STRANGE MOST OTHER RACES FIND. (AMUSEMENT). QUITE NATURAL OF COURSE TO US IT SEEMS. SIX LARGE MOONS ORBITING OUR PLANET THERE ARE. (PRIDE). A GREAT EFFECT ON THE ORBITAL PATH OF OUR PLANET THESE MOONS HAVE. A DRAMATIC 3-PHASE WOBBLE IN ITS ORBIT THE NET EFFECT IS. DIFFER DRAMATICALLY FROM ONE PHASE TO THE NEXT PLANETARY CONDITIONS DO. DUE TO THE WOBBLE THIS IS, AND TO THE FACT THAT IN ONE PHASE COMPLETELY OBSCURED BY THE MOONS OUR SUN IS. TO OUR 3-PHASE ENVIRONMENT, DIFFERENT APPROACHES TO ADAPTING LIFEFORMS NATIVE TO OUR PLANET HAVE TAKEN. TO MATCH THE PHASES OF THE PLANET, A LIFE CYCLE WITH 3 PHASES OUR SPECIES HAS EVOLVED. INTO THE NEXT FORM, EVERY 10 DAYS, OUR SPECIES METAMORPHOSES. OF THE 3 FORMS, THE NG FIRST IS. FOLLOWED BY THE KHER THEY ARE, AND US, THE ARLA, THEN. THE 3 GENDERS OF OUR SPECIES OUR 3 FORMS ARE. TO THE EXCHANGE OF GENETIC MATERIALS FOR REPRODUCTION, EACH CONTRIBUTES IN ITS OWN FASHION. ENCOUNTER EACH OTHER NORMALLY WE NEVER DO. (RELIEF). THE DAY OF SSSSSS THE SINGLE EXCEPTION TO THIS IS. WHEN INTO A RANDOM FORM EACH INDIVIDUAL METAMORPHOSES AND REPRODUCTIVE ACTIVITY ENSUES THIS IS. (EXCITEMENT). EXTREMELY AGGRESSIVE THE NG GENDER OF OUR SPECIES IS. ALREADY NOTICED THIS YOU MAY HAVE. (EMBARRASSMENT). A VERY HARSH ONE, THE PHASE ON OUR PLANET WHICH THE NG NATURALLY OCCUPY IS. ACTIVE DURING THIS PHASE MANY VICIOUS CREATURES THAT REMAIN DORMANT DURING THE OTHER PHASES ARE. OWE THE NG A GREAT DEAL WE DO. (GRATITUDE). NEVER HAVE SURVIVED WITHOUT THEM WE WOULD. OUR INTERNAL FLUIDS DURING THE NG PHASE REPLACED BECOME, WHAT WE CALL THE 'FIGHTING HUMOR' WITH. A THICK, HIGHLY CHARGED, GLOWING FLUID IT IS. INHIBITS RATIONAL THINKING IT DOES, AND EACH OF US GLOWING SPIKED SPHERES CONTAINING IMMENSE ENERGIES IT CAUSES TO BECOME. AT RANDOM INTERVALS, BLINDING FLASHES OF ENERGY WE DISCHARGE. MOST OTHER LIFEFORMS THIS INCINERATES. AN EFFECTIVE DEFENSE THIS IS. (AMUSEMENT). STRANGE EVEN TO US THE KHER ARE. EVOLVED THEY HAVE TO OCCUPY THE PHASE OF OUR PLANET WHEN OBSCURED BY THE MOONS OUR SUN IS. THE TIME OF DARKNESS AND INSANITY THIS IS. (APPREHENSION). OF WHAT DURING THIS PHASE THE PLANET IS LIKE, LITTLE DO WE KNOW. (MYSTERY). THE KHER'S BELIEF IT IS THAT NOTHING IN THE UNIVERSE EXISTS BUT THAT WHICH IN THE MINDS OF WE THE ARLA IS. THAT EVERYTHING, INCLUDING THEMSELVES, A FIGMENT OF OUR IMAGINATION IS, BELIEVE THEY DO. MOST FLATTERED BY THIS ATTITUDE WE ARE. (CONDESCENSION). SOMEWHAT DIFFICULT TO DEAL WITH THIS MAKES THEM, BY OTHER RACES WE HAVE BEEN TOLD. (UNDERSTATEMENT). BELIEVE THAT NOTHING EXISTS, SINCE THE KHER DO, IT SEEMS THAT INAPPROPRIATE THEY FIND IT TO REFER TO ANYTHING DIRECTLY. THUS, IN GENERALITIES THEY SPEAK. ALSO, NEVER ADDRESS ANYONE DIRECTLY THEY WILL, SINCE BELIEVE THERE IS ANYONE TO ADDRESS THEY DO NOT. (MILD EMBARRASSMENT). NOT TO ADDRESS THE KHER DIRECTLY OUR ADVICE IS, APART FROM HAILING THEM PERHAPS. GENERALLY BECOME QUITE AGITATED THEY WILL. CONSIDER IT VERY PRESUMPTUOUS AND RUDE FOR SOMETHING THAT DOES NOT EXIST TO ADDRESS THEM THEY DO. TO EXPLAIN THIS FURTHER DO NOT ASK US. (EMBARRASSMENT). [Other Beings] KNOW A GREAT DEAL ABOUT OTHER SENTIENT RACES WE DO NOT. (EMBARRASSMENT). UNDERSTAND US THEY DO NOT, AND SO TEND TO STAY AWAY FROM US THEY DO. (REGRET). HAVE REGULAR TRADE DEALINGS WITH THE HUMNA HUMNA IN BOTH OUR CURRENT PHASE AND OUR KHER PHASE WE DO, HOWEVER. LITTLE TRAVELING OUTSIDE OF OUR LOCAL REGION WE ARLA TEND TO DO. (REGRET). NO WISH TO BE CAUGHT WITHIN THE DOMAIN OF ANOTHER SPECIES WHEN WE CHANGE TO NG WE HAVE. DO A GREAT DEAL FOR FRIENDLY RELATIONS THIS WOULD NOT. (UNDERSTATEMENT). ENCOUNTERED A SPECIES OF CREATURES CALLED DWEENLE, A FEW TIMES WE HAVE. TOLD BY THE HUMNA HUMNA WE HAVE BEEN THAT A VERY OLD RACE THE DWEENLE ARE, AND KNOW QUITE A BIT THEY DO. (SKEPTICISM). ALSO THAT VERY INSECURE THEY ARE. TOLD US THE HUMNA HUMNA HAVE THAT OFTEN PROVE TO THE DWEENLE THAT THEY LIKE THEM THEY HAVE HAD TO BEFORE THE DWEENLE WOULD ANY INFORMATION OFFER. FOUND THAT WHEN DEALING WITH THE HUMNA HUMNA THEY RESPOND BEST TO A FRIENDLY POSTURE WE HAVE. TOLD BY THEM WE HAVE BEEN THAT A GROUP OF SPECIES THERE IS IN A NEARBY REGION WHO A HOSTILE POSTURE AT ALL TIMES ACTUALLY PREFERS. FIND THIS DIFFICULT TO BELIEVE WE DO. (SKEPTICISM). REPORTED ENCOUNTERING A DWEENLE SHIP ON THE OTHER SIDE, ONE OF OUR SHIPS THAT WENT THROUGH THE WORMHOLE AND RETURNED DID. BE ABLE TO HELP YOU THEY MIGHT IF THROUGH THE WORMHOLE YOU GO AND ENCOUNTER TROUBLE YOU DO. [The Past] BECAUSE OF THE HOSTILE NG AND THE INSANE KHER, MANY OF THE OTHER SENTIENT LIFE FORMS DESPISED US HAVE. (FRUSTRATION). UNABLE TO COMPREHEND THEY WERE THAT OF THE SAME SPECIES WE ARE, BUT OF THE SAME MIND WE ARE NOT. WITH THE LOWAR NOT SO. UNDERSTOOD US THEY DID. THE GREATEST OF TRAGEDIES THEIR DESTRUCTION WAS. (SADNESS). HERE, FROM AN OUTWARD DIRECTION, 800 YEARS AGO, THE LOWAR WITH THE UMANU CAME. PART OF SOME DISTANT CIVILIZATION THEY WERE. BY ENCROACHING HOSTILE RACES, IN DANGER OF BEING DESTROYED IT WAS. TO LIVE IN PEACE THEY CAME HERE, AND IN THE CLOUD SETTLED BECAUSE LARGELY UNOCCUPIED IT WAS. ROUGHLY EQUIVALENT IN TECHNOLOGICAL CAPABILITIES THE LOWAR AND UMANU WERE. A GENTLER RACE OF FEWER NUMBERS THE LOWAR WERE. MUCH MORE QUICKLY THE UMANU REPRODUCED, AND ALWAYS A LITTLE MORE AGGRESSIVE THEY WERE. THEN, MUCH MORE HOSTILE THEY BECAME, AND A SUDDEN LEAP FORWARD THEIR TECHNOLOGY TOOK. IN THEIR STUDIES OF THE ANCIENT LEGHK, WE OFTEN AIDED THE LOWAR. IN THE END, THEIR HOPE IT WAS THAT THE LAST TECHNOLOGY OF THE LEGHK WOULD FROM THE HOSTILITIES OF THE UMANU SAVE THEM. (FORLORN SADNESS). SHARED THEIR SHYNEUM WITH US AND THEIR TECHNOLOGY THE LOWAR DID IN RETURN FOR OUR HELP IN THEIR STUDIES. GAVE US AND ALSO GORZEK THE PROTECTIVE ARMOR THAT PROTECTS OUR SHIPS THEY DID. (APPRECIATION). DISCOVERED THE PLANET THAT THE SOURCE OF SHYNEUM FOR THIS SECTOR IS, THE LOWAR DID. (THANKFULNESS). BELIEVE OUR SCIENTISTS DO THAT, FROM THE ENERGIES THE SUPERNOVA THAT CREATED THE CLOUD RELEASED A MILLION YEARS AGO, THE SHYNEUM FORMED WAS. THUS, SOMEWHERE NEAR THE CENTER OF THE CLOUD, THE SHYNEUM PLANET WE BELIEVE IS. TOLD US THE LOCATION OF THE SHYNEUM PLANET THE LOWAR NEVER DID. BUT SAY THEY DID THAT IN THE FINAL DAYS, BEFORE DESTROYED THEY WERE, A STRANGE GLOWING OBJECT IN ORBIT AROUND IT APPEARED, AND ALWAYS SURROUNDED BY NUMEROUS UMANU SHIPS IT WAS. (MYSTERY, UNCERTAINTY). PERHAPS THAT THE LOWAR CAME SO CLOSE TO SAVING THEMSELVES THE GREATEST SADNESS IS. ACTUALLY SUCCEED IN RETRIEVING SOME OF THE LEGHK TECHNOLOGY A SHIP OF THEIRS DID. THEN, SO BADLY DAMAGED IT WAS, STRANDED IT BECAME, AND UNABLE TO REACH HOME BEFORE ITS CREW DIED IT WAS. THEIR AGONY WE CANNOT IMAGINE. (EMPATHY. CRUSHING SADNESS. GRIEF). UNFORTUNATELY, THE SPEMIN WHO FIRST DISCOVERED THE DERELICT SHIP OF THE LOWAR IT WAS, AND THE LEGHK TECHNOLOGY STOLE FROM IT. OUR SHAME THIS IS. FOR OVER 400 YEARS THE SHIP WHICH ORBITS THE LONE PLANET OF SYSTEM 198, 54, IN OUR TERRITORY HAS BEEN. ATTEMPTED WE DID TO IN EVERY WAY WE COULD THE LOWAR AID. SHARED OUR KNOWLEDGE OF THE SINGULARITY WITH THEM WE DID, AND THE SECRET OF OUR ENERGY DRAINING WEAPON WE GAVE THEM. UNFORTUNATELY, INEFFECTIVE AGAINST THE UMANU THIS PROVED TO BE. MUCH OF WHAT THE LOWAR KNEW, GORZEK KNOWS. RECOMMEND YOU TALK TO HIM WE DO. FROM OUR HOME PLANET DURING OUR PHASE, CONDUCTED THEIR STUDIES OF THE LEGHK OFTEN THE LOWAR DID. FROM THEIR HOME PLANET ALSO THEY STUDIED, HOWEVER, AND FROM A PLANET THAT INSIDE AN A-CLASS SYSTEM IS. JUST INSIDE THE CLOUD, NOT FAR FROM THE HOOK THIS SYSTEM IS. ON THE HIGHEST POINT OF THE LARGEST ISLAND, THEIR BASE OF STUDY ON THIS PLANET WAS. [Trade] FOR THE SAME REASONS THAT WE LITTLE OF OTHER RACES KNOW, LITTLE OF TRADE WE ALSO KNOW. ALMOST ALL OF OUR TRADE WITH THE HUMNA HUMNA WE DO, THUS A LITTLE ABOUT THEM WE KNOW. ENJOY BARTERING IN OUR PRESENT PHASE AS ARLA WE DO, SO FIND A REASONABLE MARKUP IN OUR PRICES YOU WILL. AS KHER, BARTER AT ALL WE DO NOT, AND OF COURSE AS NG, NOT EVEN TRADE WE WILL. OUR ADVICE TAKE, AND OUR REGION OF SPACE DURING OUR NG PHASE AVOID. (SINCERE CONCERN). IN OUR REGION OF SPACE, IN THE NEBULA NEAR THE WORMHOLE, A RACE OF NOCTURNAL SENTIENTS CALLED THE DRAFFA BASTII IS. AN INTERESTING DEVICE CALLED A PLANETARY TELEPORTER THEY HAVE. ONLY SELL THIS THEY WILL, HOWEVER, AFTER SOLD THEM A SUBSTANCE WHICH ENHANCES THE GROWTH OF THEIR VARIOUS APPENDAGES ONE HAS. CALLED GROWGOO THIS IS, AND PURCHASED FROM A SPECIES IN SYSTEM 203, 106 THIS MAY BE. STRONGLY SUGGEST YOU PURCHASE A PSYCHIC PROBE WE DO. MADE AND SOLD BY US IT IS WHEN IN OUR KHER PHASE WE ARE. EXTREMELY USEFUL IN ENCOUNTERS AND IN TRADE IT IS. [General Info] OF THE FEARSOME MICROWAVE BEAM OF THE UMANU BEWARE. (APPREHENSION). PROTECT YOU FROM THIS NEITHER SHIELDS NOR ARMOR WILL. THE PHASING, OR TELEPORTING, CAPABILITIES OF THE ANCIENT LEGHK THE ONLY EFFECTIVE DEFENSE WE KNOW OF IS. UNDOUBTEDLY NOTICED YOU HAVE THE ANOMALOUS OBJECT THAT AT THE COREWARD EDGE OF THE SECTOR IS. MORE PRECISELY, AT THE COORDINATES 244, 149 IT IS. MADE EXTENSIVE STUDIES OF THIS AND FOUND IT TO BE A WORMHOLE OF SORTS WE HAVE. UNLESS FULLY PREPARED YOU ARE, SUGGEST CAUTION IN APPROACHING IT WE DO. APPROXIMATELY 450 YEARS AGO, THE WORMHOLE OR SINGULARITY IN SPACE APPEARED. JUST PRIOR THIS WAS TO THE TIME WHEN THE UMANU HOSTILE BECAME AND THE LOWAR ATTACKED. (OUTRAGE, ANGER). OF THE ALMOST 200 SHIPS AND DRONES THAT SENT INTO THE SINGULARITY IN THE PAST CENTURIES WE HAVE, ONLY 4 RETURNED HAVE. (LOSS). HOWEVER, ENOUGH THIS HAS BEEN TO TELL US HOW THE JOURNEY SURVIVE AND TO US AN IDEA OF WHAT IS ON THE OTHER SIDE GIVE. THE WORMHOLE IS ACTUALLY A DOOR TO THE PAST, LEARNED WE HAVE. STRANGE AS IT MAY SEEM, OUR SHIPS REPORTED HAVE THAT FOUND THEMSELVES APPROXIMATELY 900,000 YEARS IN THE PAST THEY HAVE UPON PASSING THROUGH. THE ONLY OTHER RACE WE HAVE TOLD THIS TO THE LOWAR WERE. EXTREMELY DANGEROUS TRAVELLING THROUGH THE SINGULARITY HAS PROVEN TO BE. DISCOVERED THAT GOOD SHIELDS ARE CRUCIAL WE HAVE, AND REMAIN RAISED WHILE PASSING THROUGH THEY MUST. ALSO, AN ENORMOUS AMOUNT OF ENERGY TRAVELLING THROUGH THE PORTAL DRAINS. NECESSARY IT IS TO A SURPLUS OF SHYNEUM CARRY. THE AMOUNT OF 50 CUBIC METERS REQUIRED IS FOR TRAVEL TO THE PAST. WHILE VERY DANGEROUS THE SINGULARITY ITSELF IS, DISCOVERED WE HAVE THAT NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE DESTRUCTION OF THE GREAT MAJORITY OF OUR SHIPS IT HAS BEEN. APPARENTLY, AN EXTREMELY HOSTILE AND ADVANCED RACE INHABITING THE SECTOR IN THAT PERIOD THERE IS. ONLY ASSUME WE CAN THAT THE LEGHK THEY ARE, THOUGH ALWAYS BELIEVED WE HAVE THAT PEACEFUL THEY WERE. IN THE STAR SYSTEM NEAREST OUR HOME PLANET, A PLANET WITH A HIGH DENSITY OF VALUABLE MINERALS THERE IS. FREE TO MINE HERE FEEL, HOWEVER, ABUSE THIS WE TRUST YOU WILL NOT. ALSO ON THIS PLANET, LEGHK RUINS SCATTERED ABOUT YOU WILL FIND. IN OUR REGION OF SPACE, A PLANET AT THE COORDINATES OF 158, 83 THERE IS, THAT INHABITED BY SPEMIN IS. NOT PARTICULARLY FOND OF SPEMIN CREATURES WE ARE. |
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KHER (no conversation outside hail) |
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| [Name Syllables] FLASH STROBE GLOW SHINE FADE FADE PULSE SHINE PULSE FLARE BEAM STROBE BLINK FLASH BLINK GLOW [Hails/Responses] SOMETIMES ONE THINKS ONE HEARS SOMETHING WHICH OF COURSE IS NOTHING. ONE THEN WONDERS WHY NOTHING WOULD SOUND LIKE SOMETHING ONE THINKS PERHAPS ONE IS ATTEMPTING COMMUNICATION WITH ONE. THIS OF COURSE ABSURD. NOTHING CAN SAY NOTHING, AFTER ALL. IF ONE DIDN'T KNOW BETTER, ONE MIGHT THINK ONE WERE HAILING ONE. ONE IS INCREDULOUS. WHEN ONE DOES NOT EXIST, ONE SHOULD NOT MAKE PRESUMPTIONS THAT ONE IS AT A CERTAIN PLACE AT A CERTAIN TIME, OR ONE MIGHT SERIOUSLY CONFUSE MATTERS. IF ONE WERE TO ANSWER ONE, ONE MIGHT SUGGEST THAT ONE WERE CAPABLE OF ANSWERING ONE, WHICH MIGHT BE TAKEN AS A CONSIDERABLE AFFRONT BY NO ONE IN PARTICULAR. [Statements] ONE IS WARNING ONE THAT ONE HAD BETTER NOT SPEAK TO ONE OR ONE MIGHT GET VERY OFFENDED. IF ONE WERE TO SPEAK TO ONE, OR ASK ONE ANY QUESTIONS, ONE MIGHT THINK THAT ONE DIDN'T KNOW THAT ONE DIDN'T EXIST, AND ONE MIGHT THINK THAT, SINCE ONE DIDN'T EXIST ANYWAY, ONE MIGHT AS WELL FIRE A WEAPON AT ONE. ONE MUSES IN THE EMPTINESS OF NON-EXISTENCE THAT, IF ONE DID EXIST, ONE MIGHT, UNDER CERTAIN CIRCUMSTANCES WHICH ARE CERTAINLY UNCERTAIN, BE INCLINED TO HAVE CONVERSATIONS WITH ONE ON CERTAIN TOPICS, BUT OF COURSE ONE DOES NOT. ONE MUSES ON THE PAST, AS ONE IS APT TO DO AT NO TIME IN PARTICULAR. ONE RECALLS ENCOUNTERING A CERTAIN INDIVIDUAL OF A CERTAIN ILLUSORY RACE WHO MADE EXTREMELY RUDE SPECIFIC REFERENCES TO NON-EXISTENT OBJECTS AT CERTAIN COORDINATES ON A CERTAIN PLANET. ONE OFTEN ASKS ONESELF WHAT THE MEANING OF NON-EXISTENCE MIGHT BE. ONE CONSIDERS THE BEAUTY OF NOTHING, AND ONE THINKS THAT THERE MUST BE A REASON WHY ONE IS NOT HERE. IF ONE EXISTED, ONE MIGHT PERHAPS SPEAK WITH THE ARLA. ONE WOULD THEN REALIZE HOW MUCH BETTER IT IS TO BE THE ARLA, SINCE ALL THINGS ARE ARLA. THIS WOULD MAKE ONE FEEL MUCH BETTER, SINCE BEING SOMETHING IN A UNIVERSE OF NOTHING IS CERTAINLY BETTER THAN BEING NOTHING IN A UNIVERSE OF SOMETHING. IF ONE WERE TO POINT OUT THAT ONE MIGHT HAVE DIFFICULTY OPERATING A CERTAIN SPACESHIP IF ONE DID NOT EXIST, ONE MIGHT RESPOND THAT, SINCE NOTHING EXISTS IN A REAL UNIVERSE, ONE MIGHT AS WELL DO AS ONE PLEASES IN AN ILLUSORY ONE. OF COURSE, THIS IS NO REASON TO BE SO CRASS AS TO DEMONSTRATE ONE'S IGNORANCE BY MAKING REFERENCES TO THINGS THAT DO NOT EXIST. SINCE ONE DOES NOT EXIST, ONE MUST BE AWARE THAT ONE IS SIMPLY TALKING TO ONESELF. THIS BEING THE CASE, ONE MIGHT MENTION TO ONESELF THAT, IF ONE WERE TO GO TO ONE'S TRADE CENTER WHEN A CERTAIN GENDER OF A CERTAIN SPECIES WERE IN THE DOMINANT PHASE, A CERTAIN SPECIES MIGHT BE WILLING TO SELL ONE A CERTAIN VALUABLE OBJECT. AS FOR THE MATTER OF HOW ONE MIGHT OPERATE ONE'S SPACESHIP WHEN ONE IS INCLINED IN THE CORRECT FASHION TO BEHAVE IN A CERTAIN WAY WHICH INVOLVES NOT MENTIONING CERTAIN SPECIFIC THINGS, ONE MIGHT JUST SAY THAT GIVING ORDERS DURING COMBAT WITH OTHER ILLUSORY SHIPS POSES CERTAIN PROBLEMS. SINCE ONE IS BEHAVING IN AN APPROPRIATE MANNER AND NOT RUDELY INSISTING THAT ONE EXISTS WHEN ONE DOES NOT, ONE WILL TELL ONE AN IMPORTANT SECRET. ONE HAPPENS TO KNOW THAT, ON A CERTAIN PLANET AT A CERTAIN PLACE, ONE MIGHT NOT FIND WHAT ONE WERE LOOKING FOR, AND ONE MIGHT CONSIDER LOOKING AT THE SAME PLACE ON A DIFFERENT PLANET THAT IS INSIDE A CERTAIN NEBULA. ONE MIGHT ALSO POINT OUT IN A SIMILAR VEIN TO THE LAST COMMENT ONE MADE REGARDING A CERTAIN IMPORTANT SECRET, THAT ONE MIGHT KEEP IN MIND THAT A SINGLE LINE MAY BE PART OF TWO TRIANGLES. OF COURSE, ONE MIGHT NOT CARE ABOUT THIS IN THE SLIGHTEST. |
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UHL and UMANU |
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| I/It/Everything am Uhl. You/It/Pinpoint/Flicker disturb/disrupt my meditations. You/It/Nothing require annoyingly minute focus to time/space point. Painful/Agonizing this constraint into 3 dimensional space. It is counterproductive. This focus/concentration will require 3 millenia of your/it timeframe to recover from before I/it/everything can resume/continue my expansion/communion/becoming. You/It are/will be now absorbed/incorporated/utilized. Commander, our ship is being drawn closer to the Uhl. We do not have control of the helm. Commander, the Leghk Battle Jumper has fused into a solid mass and is no longer usable. Confirming - Uhl Weapon fired. Uhl Weapon in place. Both the Uhl and the Uhl weapon seem to be getting damaged. The Uhl's energy readings are fluctuating. It's shielding now reads as equivalent to Class 4 times 10 to the 11th power. 4 times 10 to the 10th. 4 times 10 to the 9th. 4 times 10 to the 8th. 4 times 10 to the 7th. Class 4 Million. Class 4 Hundred Thousand. The UHL Weapon has been destroyed. Offer/suggestion. Cease hostilities and Uhl will manifest in alternate time/space. Commander, we are receiving an incoming transmission from the planet's surface. Welcome [Captain Name]. We are the Umanu. As you may have surmised, we came to this region with the Elowan, or lowar, as they came to call themselves, as part of a colonization mission called Project Noah. We were Noah 6. What happened to us we still do not understand, but we know that somehow you were responsible for freeing us, and for that we owe you a debt that can never be repaid. Anything you want from us is yours. You are truly our saviors. You are great. You are wonderful. You are really nice. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. We really appreciate what you did, by the way. Thanks again. You're great. Thanks. |
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MESSAGES |
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| Elthar-Esh 198, 154 Planet 1: 1) To whomever may encounter our remains, this is Captain Tharahh of the Lowarian vessel the Elthar-Esh. This shall be my final entry and will transmit continually as our tragic epitaph. 2) Many sentient species believe in a greater causality in the universe. While ours is not one of them, I now can hardly deny that there must exist some governing force with the cruelest sense of humor. 3) What else could possibly explain our circumstance. The irony of it is too much to bear. I can only hope that such an entity exists, for then, at least something somewhere will appreciate this grand joke. 4) Where so many others have failed, we have solved the riddle of the Halls of Memory and the Leghk technology. We have survived battles with the G'Nunk, the Umanu and the Uhlek. We have passed through the singularity and returned. 5) Now, finally, with salvation in hand, here we sit, halfway home and out of fuel. For just a few cubic meters of shyneum, I would gladly trade my life. 6) Well, I will waste no more words on wishing. Now all I can do is wait, and hope that if a joke is being played, it has not yet been played out, 7) And that if the final punchline is yet to come, that it will come soon, as we have so very little time left. 8) Captain Tharahh out. 84, 176 Planet 4 'Elthesh' 28N*45E Lowar Ruins Message: 132,6 Planet 6 / 60,156 Planet 1 / 105,75 Planet 6: Leghk Ruins Messages: 106, 14 Planet 1 0*0 Lowar Ruins message: (THE PAST) 54,104 Planet 2 26S*135E Lowar Ruins message: (THE PAST) 131, 219 Planet 2 26S*135E Halls of Memory Leghk: (THE PAST) [Uhl mind weapon messages, in order of severity] [Dweenle crewmember complaints] [Trade Messages] I am not interested in trading. (This is after you've really pissed him off. After enough time he'll trade with you in again.) After you select an item and begin negotiations: Ah yes, the (blank). I can see that you are a trader of distinction. Let us say . . . (blank). You insult me. I am out of patience. (end of negotiations) Ah, I see. You are making a joke. Yes, and a very humorous one it is, indeed. I have lost patience with this exchange. (end of negotiations) [Lifeform Descriptions] Black Acid Squiter: A black, fuzzy, amorphous creature about the size of a rabbit. On the surface of the creature are several blue white globular clusters of light and heat sensors. Surrounding each cluster is a ring of small holes through which the creature shoots a powerful acid substance. The creature's rasp like eating apparatus is on its sticky underside. |
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STARPORT NOTICES |
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| 01-01-4639 To all captains, welcome. You have undoubtedly read your mission briefings. We of Interstel would like to extend our sincerest thanks for you risking your lives, and in fact, facing almost certain and painful deaths in order to ensure the freedom of our families back on Arth. We would like you to know that if there is anything at all, that we can do for you, short of lowering the prices in Starport, or excessively inconveniencing ourselves, we would welcome the opportunity. Also, please rest assured that after successfully completing your mission, you will not be forgotten by us. In fact, you will receive a fabulous reward of immeasurable value, (which we are not at liberty to discuss at this time.) We go with you in spirit. -The gang here at Starport. 01-01-4639 Xenon, I'm still waiting for my money. -Borno. 01-01-4639 To all captains, be advised that we have encountered a race of sentients in the immediate vicinity who call themselves the Tandelou. As we seem to have constructed Starport within their space, we highly recommend a non-antagonistic attitude, at least until we are able to determine how much of a threat they are likely to be. They seem to be engaged in some sort of civil war. We know little else. 01-01-4639 Due to the fact that the economy in this sector of space is based on Shyneum, we at Starport have, for simplicity, switched over to the local currency of Shyneum pennies (S.P.). You should be able to purchase Shyneum at any alien trade outpost. 02-01-4639 Notice- Now available in ship configuration are two new items which every captain is sure to want. The first is a device developed by our scientists here at Starport. It is called a blasto-pod and fits into your ship just like a cargo pod. It is an extremely powerful torpedo designed for use in ship to ship combat. (Guaranteed to destroy any alien ship or your money back!). These are available at the low price of only 50,000 S.P., and remember, quantities are limited. Your ship is equipped to carry up to two of these pods. 02-01-4639 Also available are the new jump pods. These items were purchased from an alien race local to this sector. These also fit into your ship like cargo pods and allow you to make long jumps without the use of continuum fluxes. Your ship is equipped to carry up to four of these pods. All of the best navigators are using them. One small thing though, we haven't yet been able to ascertain what it is that governs the accuracy of the pods, though they do seem consistent after a fashion. This being the case, we are offering them at the one time only, low discount price of 20,000 S.P. each. Be sure to act now while the offer lasts !! We've included one complementary jump pod for you to try out with no obligation. 02-01-4639 There has been a report of 2 continuum fluxes very near Starport. One is located at 33,70 and the other is at 29,54. Recommend you proceed with caution. In addition, we have received numerous reports that seem to indicate that travel within the cloud nebula is extremely hazardous. 05-01-4639 For sale- 14 tons of Delightful Fungus Chews. Must sell fast. They're a little moldy, but who's going to notice? Please see Captain Heimlich of the I.S.S. Pequod. You can find him on the third stool in the Nebula Lounge. 10-01-4639 Borno, You'll have to find me first. -Xenon 18-01-4639 To all captains, Several captains have reported running into Spemin pirate ships in this region. Be warned, these ships are equipped with plasma bolts and class 6 shielding, similar to the Uhlek. In addition, some of their ships have phasing capability, and their shielding seems to work in nebulae. We suggest that when encountering these ships, unless you know some trick that we don't know, that you comply with their demands. 22-01-4639 A special congratulations to cadet Phexitutex, winner of the highly coveted 'Robin Williams Memorial Funny Fella' award. Phexi is the first Veloxi to ever win this award. 23-01-4639 Important It has come to our attention that there exists, in this region of space, a star system in which ruins of the ancients may be found. We have also learned that there may be races that actually maintain a commerce in Endurium. You are hereby warned, that disturbing the Endurium, or engaging in any manner of trade involving Endurium is most strictly prohibited. Failure to abide by this rule, which invludes bringing Endurium into Starport for any reason, will result in severe and immediate action. 29-01-4639 A ship has recently returned with a device found in some ancient Leghk ruins on the fifth planet of the system 132,6. Somehow this device is able to translate the writing in these ruins into a form that is decipherable by our computers. This device has been installed in all terrain vehicles and will function automatically. 20-02-4639 Xenon, remember that blasto-pod you bought really cheap? Guess who has the detonator. -Borno 28-02-4639 Listen Borno, don't do anything I might regret. I'll tell you what, if you'll return my high performance strontium tongs and my multi-phase double tiered plasma percolator, I'll give you back your money. Fair is fair. -Xenon 09-03-4639 Reknowned Thrynn diplomat, Thrynn Thrysss, will be giving a lecture this Thursday night on board the I.S.S. Mediator on the subject of alien psychology and diplomatic techniques. He will be covering such topics as- getting the most out of your obsequious posture, aggression through non-aggression, and applied misdirection. He will also be speaking on his latest book, 'Nobody Is Wrong, But I'm Right'. It starts at 0700 hours. 25-03-4639 Captain Elara Ohshahh of the I.S.S. Photosynth had reported discovering that the Humna Humna inhabitants of a planet in the system 237,88 possess a device which they call the Encounter Scan. She reports that she purchased one from them and that it has been very useful in identifying the locations of other vessels in her proximity on her ship's starmap display. |
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